Birth options after previous traumatic birth

[Alicia870]

I'm pregnant with second baby and have started thinking about the birth. My first baby will be 2 when this one is due. I had a very long prolonged early phase of labour first time round, contractions stopping and starting for days. I managed active labour once I had some pain relief and was just grateful at that point to actually be progressing. I was really sick throughout it, exhausted etc. The thing I'm absolutely terrified of is perineal tears.

I had to deliver via vacuum and episiotomy. The recovery was so traumatic. I became so swollen and bruised (sorry for Tmi but was basically black down my whole right thigh and ridiculously swollen) and a few days later the cut got infected. Had 2 courses antibiotics and it was just complete agony. I couldn't get relief from any position and felt completely helpless. Sitting was agony but so was lying down, getting in and out of bed etc. It took a while to recover.

I'm due to see consultant to discuss but so conflicted as to what to do. The things I'm scared of is another really long labour, but especially tearing and being cut again. Has anyone any advice on what to ask or say to them. I'm seriously considering a c section to allow me to have some control and take away the fear of the unknown. But then again I think it would be a shame as I could have a delivery which is better and where I don't need stitches. But there's no guarantee of that. I'm aware a c section isn't an easy way out- but with having such a rough recovery from a vaginal delivery I'm not sure how it could be much worse than what I've already been through. Either way it just seems so scary and I'm starting to freak out!

Hi! Didn't want to read and run!

I also had episiotomy and a vaccume and birth was hurrendous however my recovery was bad but luckily no infection.

I was feeling really really anxious as now pregnant with #2 but I spoke to a midwife about it and she went through my birth with their notes and it really helped me out and she assured me that it's not very likely to happen again.

My mum also had the same birth with me and then my brother had a smooth fast birth no problems

however I think speaking to consultant will help you weigh pros and cons and hopefully put your mind to ease

Your first delivery sounds like mine second time around I was really worried but the consultants talked me into natural delivery. It ended up being worse than the first with forceps and 3rd degree tear. I'm pregnant with number 3 and really want c section but worried about recovery with limited help due to COVID. Hope all goes well for you xxx

Thanks for your responses.
The thing is with birth it is just so unpredictable that there's absolutely no guarantee the same thing would happen again. Plus given my body reacted so badly to perineal stitches last time - swelling and bruising etc I'm unsure how r would be different this time if another episiotomy or tear happened.
I'm also just afraid that a c section would be just as brutal if not worse. Has anyone else had a difficult delivery then gone on to have a successful elective caesarean? How do the experiences differ?

I also had a nightmare first delivery, loads of things went wrong, and I had an allergic reaction to the stitches which completely broke down and became infected. I was on antibiotics for months and needed several repair surgeries. Had PND and PTS afterwards. I requested and was given an elective section second time around. It was bliss. The whole process and recovery was nothing compared to the first time.

@JulesJules really? What was easier in your experience? I'm so aware that c section is still a really big deal - but do you feel your pain could be managed better? The things I found so awful about this was the significant trauma to that area was actually really restrictive to every day tasks. I was unable to sit, couldn't get in and out of bed without help, walking was agony, I also felt so heavy down there which almost took my breath away when I stood up. I'm assuming some of this would still be the case with an elective c section?

Hi OP - I had episiotomy and forceps resulting in a 3rd degree tear so I will be requesting an ELCS this time around. I'm not worried about the postnatal recovery as long and difficult as it was - I'm more worried about the long term issues another birth injury could cause.

@LillianFullStop I also was terrified of long lasting issues after my birth. Thankfully it did settle after time but I had a lot of issues in the months afterwards with heaviness and a mild prolapse. So I can't imagine what another vaginal delivery would do

I couldn't sit down for months without a rubber ring (and even then it hurt) after the first delivery. Everything was easier when I had the section. No 24 hrs in labour, throwing up constantly - just arrived at the hospital at 7am and walked to theatre at 8am. The epidural worked (didn't the first time). Surgery was fine. Painfree, couldn't feel the stitches - the episiotomy being stitched was excruciating. The midwives were prepared to part with painkillers after the section, they wouldn't give more than paracetamol after my vb. Recovering from CS was fine, incomparably better than from my first delivery.

I had a difficult first birth - hogged the delivery suite for 17 hours. Eventually dc1 was dragged out via keillands forceps with the cord wrapped round their neck and the paed crash team at the end of the bed. We were both fine in the end.

I psyched myself up for DC2 who arrived within 4 hours of the first twinge - very straightforward and was home within about 8 hours

Sorry, pressed send too soon! I was terrified that the epi scar would tear with DC2 but it was fine

I have a very similar story. Had an elective section for my second and it was an amazing experience! So much so that I would have had my second child sooner if I knew it could be like that. Recovery was so much easier than with my first and I was on my feet within hours rather than weeks with my first. I was so traumatised by my first that I was terrified of getting pregnant again and then I did (not planned). I cried at my gp that I couldn't do it again and was listened to at every appointment. It had to be agreed by 2 consultants and it was upsetting talking though everything that happened but they were great.

Recovery was easy for me because I was aware of what I'd been through (a massive abdominal surgery) and I got an infection in my wound but mentally and physically it was the best decision for me

A positive story...

I had a very similar first delivery, long labour, episiotomy, failed suction which resulted in a forceps delivery. Then infections, inflammation, bruising, agony to walk and sit (rubber ring was needed for weeks).
I vowed if we ever had another DC I would insist on a section.

Fast forward 3 years, and after some persuasion from my midwife and consultant I delivered my DD vaginally. It honestly was the most positive, wonderful, joyful moment of my life. I felt like I could do ANYTHING in those immediate hours after she arrived. I had the smallest of natural tear which healed beautifully with a couple of stitches.

So please do consider all the options available, talk them through and decide on the option you 100% feel confident and comfortable with.

Wishing you all the very best

Thanks everyone. I appreciate all the feedback.
It's nice to hear positive stories of both vaginal and c section deliveries.

The worst case scenario for me I feel would be another episiotomy - as I think this would cause me a lot of emotional distress just based on what happened last time. And at the end of the day, if baby's heart rate drops and needs to come out ASAP like last time, there will be no way around that outcome. I keep coming back to the fact ultimately, vaginal delivery = loss of control. And I can only imagine my reaction if I was pushing and they said 'we need to do episiotomy'. I would be so terrified. Lots to think about and weigh up

Me personally I would go planned section without a doubt.
It sounds like the most horrendous experience and if you can have a lovely controlled planned birth that's what I would be choosing.
I had a horribly long failed induction with my first that ended in an emergency section because she was in the wrong position for forceps.
I'm having a planned section on 06/05 with my second and I can't wait. I needed control this time.
Obviously there are risks and it's not the easy option at all but I have control, I know I will be looked after and from everything over heard it's a lovely experience compared to an emergency one.
Whatever you decide - good luck Op.
X

I had a very traumatic first birth, ventous, episiotomy, prepped for caesarean etc. Felt awful for a long time afterwards. I chose a home birth for my second and it was an amazing experience. I felt that I could be in control at home and be less fearful and that worked for me. But I don't think home birth is for everyone, what I do think is that women should make an informed choice and be supported and respected for that. So if you feel that a planned caesarean birth is best for you then go for that and insist that you are heard. Your body, your choice.

There's a good book by Kim Thomas called Birth Trauma. You might find that helpful.

Hi, I'm in the same boat first was at 20 weeks and lost him, then my 2nd baby was a long difficult delivery no epidural available for over 8 hours after I had begged for one as was the night shift and the only person available was doing sections, which was after 10 hours in, then I needed forceps I got a 3 degree tear I had a catheter for 2 weeks got a uti, also felt like I couldnt walk straight for about 2 months, 2 of my friends had babies around the same time by emergency c section and were up and about long before me,
I think i would like to request a section this time just so I'm in control and not be praying it goes okay, but I'm worried about not being up and about due to having a toddler

Third degree tear on my first, was completely traumatised by it and it’s effect on my body in the months after the birth. Had no bowel control for 2 weeks!

Had 2 planned sections and the recovery was so much better. It was predictable and manageable. Yes it was painful and awkward but I managed to breastfeed still and had no problems with the scar.

I’m very similar to @Crimbles - my first delivery was a nightmare, have written about it on here before, but it was 48h Labour, induction, epidural, baby in distress, emergency forceps in room (theatre busy), baby not breathing and taken to nicu, months of pain, trauma etc etc.

My second delivery, 23 months later, was just completely different. I was totally in control of the decisions, baby was born in the pool, fed immediately and skin to skin, went home 6 hours later. Some stitches, but also got rid of the horrible tight episiotomy scar (that alone was worth the natural delivery). The endorphins were amazing, recovery was amazing. I think the reason they try and push you into a second VB is because for most people the second delivery is straight forward. If you can manage it, it is worth it.

Probably for me the line I would draw is refusal to be induced/on the drip because that was where things went wrong for me