anyone have a repair operation to fix childbirth damage - please help!!!

[mariasmum]

Hi there. I hope someone can give me some advice as i don't know where else to turn. Sorry if this is too detailed but i want to give all the info. incase some more knowledgable person can help!! 7 months ago i gave birth for the 1st time to my beautiful dd. I was induced 10 days after date and had a quite speedy but intense 7 hour labour. I had an epidural and had to push for over 90 mins. The midwife gave me an episiotomy but i also tore badly in several areas including internally and lost huge amounts of blood. She said they were only 2nd degree tears and it took over an hour to stitch me up. By the way, my dp said the midwife seemed very flustered and confused about how to tackle the stitching, blood loss etc., while another midwife kept saying they better get doctor, but then they didn't. Anyway, i've had nothing but problems since and have basically never recovered. Sex is impossible and even standing for more than 5 mins causes pain. the episiotomy healed fine but have lots of pain+ discomfort round the sites of the tears. I've been back to the hospital a few times and they have now said something along lines of: i need surgery to cut out scar tissue and to be restitched. No one has ever explained why this has actually happened. Was it my midewife's fault or my body's for not healing correctly? this will involve a general anaesthetic and i am so frightened i will never be the same again. Please, has this happened anyone else????

hey mariasmum,

i am still recovering from the operation... i can stil see the sutches sticking out.

i am still a bit upset about the new appearance of my perineum, but if it makes sex more comfortable then it will be worth it. ont know til december which is roughly when i get the go ahead to try.

its still painful (not majorly) just day to day, like i can feel the stretching all the time. this is 5 and a half weeks later.. but i have decided to be calm
and relaxed about it all for at least another month.

i dont know how important appearance is to anyone else, and my friends and doctors keep telling me not to check on myself down there, but i cant help it!! does anyone else have obviouse scarring? and extra dimples and bumps??? was this what my surgery was meant to fix? she did straigten the circular scar where my skin twisted around into itself.

Hello. Haven't read these completely as 6 months preg and knackered and should go to bed but really wanted to reply as i was so desperate for advice when i was in this position.
When I had ds I pushed for ages, midwife said she had to cut me otherwise we'd have to get the drs in and so she cut we, baby pretyty much flew out and i thought all was fine. She stitched me up and then got a dr to come in and look and he stuck his finger up my b'hind and said all was fine.
By the time i got home they realised i was v anaemic cos of blood loss (now know it must have been unrepaired internal tear) and i could barely walk/move etc but i thought that was normal. COuldn't walk far for weeks but just thought that was normal.
Asked GP to check my scar at 6 week check and she was v reluctant and just said it looked fine/no infection. Tried to have sex and v painful, kept trying... finally went back to gp (diff one) who said she thought the repair had been done badly and that i also had a cyst.
ANyway, will try and be brief... ended up at Gynae, no cyst - it was wall of vagina bulging through an internal tear (sorry!) so referred for surgery. Had day surgery, only saw consultant that morning and he said i was worse than the prev gynae had thought and should really have op as an inpatient bu was happy to go ahead if i was. Surgery went well but recovery was long, 6 weeks off work, and i was diagnosed with depression and spent next 9 months coming to terms with what had happened to me. Saw 2 diff gynaes who reassured me that my 'butchered' fanjo was fine now and it took a long time to relax properly to try it out!
This time round am booked in for an elective. Did go to discuss natural birth with consultant as the gynae had said it should be fine but his solution ws that i would have an obstetrician with me and if it looked like there was a problem they would do the episiotomy and repair - at the mention of more butchery down there i burst into tears and realised that that level of anxiety was probably not going to bode well for a lovely natural birth!
Anyway, sorry for long post, just want people to know that you you know your ow body and if you think there's a problem then insist on being seen by a gynae asap. Also be prepared for the emotional effect all this has on you - lack of sex is a big thing when you're struggling with relationship already thrown into turmoil by new parenthood! My first one said maybe i should think about waiting to get it all sorted out until after 2nd baby but i pointed out that there wouldn't be a 2nd baby if it didn't get sorted! Hope those of you who have posted on here who are still suffering get some help soon, don't be fobbed off! off to bed now but happy to share more details if anyoine has any questions, was desperate for similar stories when i was going through it. However, if i have shared too much already feel free to just skip this post!

and yes, am still 'dimpled' and odd down there but enjoying sex life again so just try not to look/poke around too much... was v difficult not to to start with i'd end up in tears every time i had a bath and had a root around! Has been a long road...

Thankyou everyone for posting. I was beginning to think I was alone with this. On wait list to see gynae (requested a woman). Its been 3 years since I had dd, 3 years of pain and constant discharge. No sex at all so rather angry DH.
I just want this sorted out.
In counselling about it as dd was number 4 and my only 'natural' birth. The other 3 were all c-sections and went fine and are all normal. Natural birth left me in agony 'down there' and dd ended up brain damage. Not bloody fair.

75% of women who have a repair achieve a good or better outcome according to the stats. I can't remember how many were merely satisfied and unsatisfied but 3/4 clearly are pleased with the outcome.

After the operation get a referral to Women's Health so they can give you exercises to help tone up the area too.

I just want to be able to sit comfortably. Not too bothered about sex but it would make dh happy and so be good for our marriage.
Wish the appointment would hurry up.

hey needmorecoffee i am so sorry your daughter ended up brain damaged over a natural birth.. its not fair that these things happen at all.

manamana im glad to hear you are doing better and enjoying a sex life. thats so encouraging to hear!