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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Husband/OH with you in labour?

21 replies

RainMinusBow · 30/03/2020 23:21

For those ladies who have been/who will be giving birth during this pandemic and who already have children...

What did you do/planning to do with your children when you go into labour?

I have no idea!

This is my fiancé's first and last baby.

OP posts:

Pulpfiction1 · 30/03/2020 23:29

I'm due Oct so hopefully this will have all blown over by then.

But my kids will be staying with my parents. What else am I supposed to do. Dh will only be present for active labour, which based on my last baby will be 40 mins! I know rules and that, but if people can still go to the supermarket and take trains to work - my mum can watch my kids for a night while dh attends the birth of our child.

Deadheadstickeronacadillac · 30/03/2020 23:52

Planned c section 2 years ago, no one to look after older child (9 y/o), so he and husband stayed in my room on the ward during the surgery.
I had a great chat with the anaesthetist until I started to haemorrhage...
Could you not consider the possibility that it might just be you in the delivery room and prepare yourself mentally? I knew relatively early on that I would have no back up, so was prepared. Husband and eldest left the hospital at about 5:30 that first evening and new baby and I were on our own. It was not sunshine and rainbows as not only was recovering from the section and haemorrhage but had been in a wheelchair for 3 years by that point. With all kindness, sometimes you do just have to suck it up and deal with the situation in front of you.

kemosabeimalone · 31/03/2020 12:34

I’m due in late June/ early July with third child - I have no idea what we are going to do childcare wise if we are on lockdown. My eldest is 11 so potentially could be left with his 8 year old brother while DH drops me off at hospital but I’m suspecting I may have to give birth on my own which I’m trying to get my head round. I was considered a HB in light of CV but just read that those are now prohibited due to ambulance shortages I’m meant to be seeing a consultant on Wednesday (i’m 47 so considered higher risk) so I’ll see what they say. Sending my thoughts to any other worried MN’ers in sane position.

mangoandraspberries · 02/04/2020 05:24

Yep I have the same issue, DC1 will be just 2 and I'm giving birth in July. We live far from any close relatives, but had planned to leave him with relatives who live nearby that he doesn't see that often (plan had been to get him more used to them beforehand, but now with CV we can't really risk that). So we'll either have to leave them with him without him getting to know them (I'm worried about how upset he'll be) or I'll have to give birth on my own. Both are horrible choices.

mynameisntlouise · 03/04/2020 22:47

A child needs to be looked after so I see this as an essential reason for my mum to come and look after him despite lockdown.

As long as I'm still allowed a birth partner and my husband has no symptoms, this is what we'll be doing. I don't see how it differs from my husband staying home with our child and my mum coming with me as birth partner.

WhateverHappenedToBathPearls · 04/04/2020 09:55

I'm due DC2 mid may. Currently I can't see any other option than to leave DC1 with DP and give birth alone. All our childcare options are either vulnerable or too far away to be likely to get here in time (I have a history of fast labour). Was hoping for home birth. They aren't actually cancelled in our area yet but it's not looking good.

TeddyTeddy · 04/04/2020 09:59

I’m due next week. My mum will be driving down (2 hours away) to look after our toddler.

DailyKegelReminder · 04/04/2020 10:15

Due in 2 weeks and will be going in alone. Multiple reasons, some make no sense - minimising the risk of both me and DP catching the virus (I know, i know if i catch it the whole house more than likely will anyway) wanting toddler DC to have a parent with them if things go... erm tits up! Plus I cant guarantee the people I did have lined up as babysitters haven't got CV-19. So it just makes me feel calmer if I go in on my own.

Original poster

RainMinusBow · 04/04/2020 10:37

I honestly don't know what to do. My boys will be 10 and 12.5 when their half-sister is due. I'm having a homebirth with an Independent Midwife. It was going to be the plan that my mum (64, no risk factors, self-isolating and living in same village) would have them, but guess that's not permitted at the moment.

OP posts:

Lu1u · 06/04/2020 06:55

I am due in the next few weeks and have a toddler already.

Plan at the moment is if I need to go to hospital in the day time my partner and toddler will drive me there and drop me off and I will give birth alone (but that doesn't really concern me, I know others feel very differently)

If it's the middle of the night I am going to call my parents who will pick me up and drive me to hospital to minimise disruption for my toddler and my partner will again stay at home and not join me in hospital. My parents will wait outside the hospital in their car to make sure I am accepted onto the Labour ward and then leave me to it with the midwives!

My mum is a nurse and works at a hospital, and my MIL is in an at risk category and is not comfortable minding our toddler whilst I'm in labour which is fair enough. I have chosen the circumstances which mean the least amount of contact with others and that feels right to me (ie. Hopping in the back of my parents car for 20 mins to get to hospital)

Have you had any further thoughts on what you are going to do OP? It's such a difficult time and no one could plan for this so don't put too much pressure on yourself!

Original poster

RainMinusBow · 06/04/2020 16:54

We're meeting with an Independent Midwife tomorrow as I've been planning a home birth ever sInce I found out I was pregnant. If I go into labour when the boys are with me (not at their dad's) then I guess they'll just have to hang our in their rooms. It's far from ideal as they'll be 10 and almost 13 when baby is due, but I don't really have another option currently.

OP posts:

Wingingthis · 06/04/2020 16:58

Due any day - me my husband & toddler have been self isolating for 3 weeks now and my parents the same (low risk/in their 50’s).
My parents will be having my toddler, they live a 5 min drive away. Government guidelines are you can leave home to care for others and I consider this care! Realise we’re in a fortunate position with them so close & low risk

Allgirlmum · 11/04/2020 16:21

My Husband will stay home with the other children I'll be giving birth alone in 9 days

SpudsAreLife84 · 12/04/2020 08:35

Allgirl I promise, you will be absolutely fine! DH is military and I've given birth alone, it wasnt scary at all the midwife was excellent and took great care of me. It was actually one of my nicest ones, I didn't have to worry if he was ok, I could totally focus on what I needed to do and it was a really positive experience, honestly. Please don't worry

louise5754 · 12/04/2020 08:40

@SpudsAreLife84 Same my husband was in Afghanistan when our eldest was born.

ILoveAnOwl · 12/04/2020 08:53

My friend's daughter had a baby last week. Friend self isolated for two weeks and then moved in with them so she could look after their three year old whilst they were in hospital (planned c section, daughter has a health condition and would definitely need help at the hospital). She's remaining with them for 14 days when they get out of hospital. Not ideal, but the best plan they could think of.

SallyWD · 12/04/2020 08:58

We asked MIL to come and stay for a couple of weeks. She looked after DD but also helped generally, doing the cooking etc while I was recovering from the birth. She was wonderful.

MsChatterbox · 12/04/2020 09:04

I'm planning to give birth alone even if we're out of lockdown. Don't want to risk toddler catching it and giving it to newborn.

miccymaccy · 12/04/2020 09:12

Mum (65 no health issues) coming to live with us 2 weeks beforehand, will be there to look after the kids whilst in labour and will stay for babies first 2 weeks

Original poster

RainMinusBow · 12/04/2020 11:51

@Wingingthis We're similar in that my mum lIves in same village, is 64 and no underlying health conditions. She has also been self-isolating. However ex-husband says no to her having the boys if I have to go I'm as it's "putting them at risk. " So having a home birth but God knows what I'm going to do if it's my week with kids and it's an emergency where I need to go in.

OP posts:

HayleyD84 · 12/04/2020 20:57

I'm due to have a planned C-Section beginning of June with baby no.2 (planed based on medical advice)
We are planning for the in-laws to have our son when I go in. (Providing they or us don't have any symptoms)
He hasn't seen them since lockdown and maybe won't until then.
It's not ideal but the thought of having to go through a c-section on my own terrifies me!
It's 8 weeks away so I'm just hoping this situation isn't as bad then.
What's making me anxious is the fact that 30 mins or so after the c-section my husband has to leave! I had a very bad experience with the aftercare last time so I'm very scared!
Just have to see :-(

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