40+5

[rainingoutsideagain]

I'm being induced this week and it's my first baby. I'm stuck with who to choose, my hot headed boyfriend who I can imagine we would be arguing the whole way through it or my sister who has had 5 children and is so calming and reassuring. I know it's sounds an easy choice but can I take away from my boyfriend the option of being there without the lifelong guilt?

What would you do? How would you frame the conversation?

I was allowed two to begin with because I've suffered with anxiety and nervousness about birth etc but now I feel my choices have been taken away.

I'm just so anxious atm as we all are but I am so emotional and exhausted from trying to please him and feel like I need support not choices, I just can't make the right decisions as either way it will effect the birth of my first child.

Of course you know it's your sister. It's how to say it to your boyfriend which is the issue. Some men surprinsgly don't mind not being there. So you can open the conversation with this. Just talk about births and say to some men it's a really big deal, to others they don't mind so long as they can meet baby quickly etc. Say how do you feel about it? Then from here you can guage how you will approach it. Of course it's your choice and you're the one going through labour! But I would understand why you want to be tactful.

I doubt you will have time to argue.
You need to ask your bf, if he wants to be there then it would be very unfair to not let him.

Does your boyfriend want to be there?

For you it sounds like your sister would be a much better support but it does seem wrong to not allow your boyfriend to see his child born.

Thanks all for your replies, I know I'm so stuck yes he does and I want a good support system. I may suggest tag team! But unlikely I think I'll decide when the labour starts and I'm not able to think straight - it's my only option I guess.

Thanks again

It's about your needs and wellbeing- yes he might want to be there but it's you who has to give birth and you need the person who is going to be most supportive and helpful and it really sounds like you want your sister.

He has the rest of his life to be a dad- not being at the birth is such a tiny tiny thing.