I hated my first birth. Hated. Ended up with post natal depression and taking anti depressants for a good while. I’ll say what happened with my first labour (as briefly as I can) so you can sort of understand what happened last time. For reference, I wanted an active labour with a water birth and only gas and air if necessary.
I went into labour at 8pm on a Saturday (39+3), straight off the bat my contractions were 3 minutes apart lasting 40 seconds to a minute. After about an hour the contractions were less than 2 minutes apart lasting a minute and being a first time mum I wasn’t sure why it was seeming so quick compared to what I had heard (even from my own mother who laboured for 3 days with my big sister) I rang the labour ward and was basically told I would be hours but I wasn’t coping well so to come in ‘if I felt it was absolutely necessary’ so we arrived just shy of 2 hours after my contractions started and I was 4cm dilated. The midwife said I was too hot and baby’s heart rate was too high, so I was lumbered on my back with drips of paracetamol and fluids, much to my despair.
At around 11.30-12pm the contractions changed and went from absolutely fine to incredibly painful, all I wanted to do was move/get up and not be on my back anymore, I had an urge to push but (without checking dilation, bare in mind I had only been checked once) the midwife said I couldn’t possibly need to push and I just wasn’t coping well, she suggested an epidural to which I declined but she kept telling me I wasn’t coping and needed one so I agreed (basically to shut her up) so I got the epidural at 12.30 ish. They immediately afterwards checked dilation and I was fully dilated. My suspicion is that had they checked before forcing me to have an epidural they would have seen I was already fully dilated. They told me that because I now had to epidural they were going to leave me not pushing to let baby come down a bit on her own. They left me until 4am!
Still on my back and now with my legs in stirrups I started to push, after pushing for about 45 minutes they said I had until the forceps team arrived to get the head out, after specifying under no circumstances did I want forceps. I couldn’t really feel my contractions and the midwife was not telling me when I needed to push so really I was just guessing, didn’t manage to get the head out before the forceps team arrived but I suppose it was close enough they said they weren’t going to try them. Anyway baby’s head comes out and after 2 more pushes she wasn’t budging. Big red button was hit and alarm goes off and suddenly the whole place is swarming and they’ve put my bed completely flat and my knees to my chest, they manage to get her out quite quickly and she cries straight away (although she did poo everywhere). She was born 5.23am weighing 7lbs and was actually fairly tiny. (They has measured her via scan and predicted a 9lb baby)
I also had retained placenta and lost 1l of blood and had a small unstitched tear that I imagined occurred when they yanked her out.
Anyway if you’re still with me I’m now 30 weeks with my second, they said I could have a c section if I really wanted it and I refused, praying this time would not be like last time.
I’d love a waterbirth, or at least to labour in the water and I don’t want to be basically strapped to the bed like last time. I don’t want them to not listen to me like last time but I don’t really know how to do that. And considering how small she was I’m not sure what the best option is going to be, I don’t want another traumatic birth, being told I’m not coping all the time. Do I just have the planned c section (I really don’t want one) or do I attempt a second birth and just hope it’s better than last time? I’m going for a scan in a few weeks (Coronavirus allowing) to check baby’s size even though they were way way out last time. Should I even bother writing a birth plan? Or asking for the pool?