Experience of VBAC with vaginismus

[BabyLlamaZem]

I have had this condition my whole life. The only person who knows is DH. Some times are better than others, smear tests are always traumatic nightmares and at age 30 I feel like I'm just stuck with it tbh.

I had my baby about 4 months ago by cs. I actually did loads of hypnobirthing beforehand due to a general fear of childbirth and was so relaxed through pregnancy it hadn't really occurred to me that vaginismus would be an issue because the baby is coming out (not in!) I was focussing so much on how to deal with contractions and everything else I almost forgot this might be a problem.

Ended up in hospital as failure to progress and broken waters, being continuously monitored. I had vaginal examinations which caused me much more pain than the contractions and were so traumatic I still get upset about it sometimes. I had such a fear of using forceps and an episiotomy considering what the examinations were like that I pushed for a cs as baby wasn't coming. Funnily enough I think all the examinations and upset is what slowed baby down and that's why I didn't want to be in hospital in the first place :(

The cs was great and I recovered very quickly with a healthy baby.

4 months on I know I would love more kids. However I am terrified about how I would do it in the future. I know cs aren't good and the risks increase with each child. But I don't know how I would cope with a vbac. I'm worried I'll be sent to hospital again which makes it really hard to avoid frequent examinations. I don't want to have an epidural as I know this increases the chance of forceps delivery which also terrifies me and I'm not sure how I'll cope with the recovery of that. So I don't know what to do :(

Different situation but I have severe tokophobia linked mainly to traumatic gynae procedures - so I don’t have vaginismus but the internal exams, and the actual process of getting a baby out rather than the contractions, along with forceps etc is where my fear is based.

I had counselling during pregnancy but it wasn’t enough and I ended up being booked for an elcs but then needing an emcs a few weeks beforehand.

Unfortunately I’m also terrified of needles and my spinal went wrong - was really awful and I couldn’t do it again.

I’ve decided no more children and this is one factor but there are others.

Have you tried treatment for the vaginismus along with counselling for any associated trauma from the birth or anything else? Could make a big difference maybe?

I'm sorry you went through all that. May I ask what went wrong with the spinal and why you needed an ecs?

It would be good to sort the vaginismus but I've never had much luck with it before and don't know where to get support anymore really.

I needed an emcs because one of my twins stopped moving and had a static heart rate - found out just in time so I had no labour, all happened very quickly (arrived at hospital for a check up and they were out three hours later).

They couldn’t site my spinal properly - took 7 attempts and 7 separate locals, some people say they don’t feel much but for me every one was hideous, and some of the spinal needles slipped and it felt like having my leg ripped off. It was very bad indeed, but very unusual from what I can tell. Apparently my muscles were so solid (possibly from the weight of the twins and two lots of everything) that the needles kept bending. Needles in my back is one of my big fears so this really was the worst sort of needle experhence for me anyway and I could have done with it going better!

Have you seen a pelvic physio? Again different issue but I have pelvic floor dysfunction (abnormally tight muscles), and it did help a bit.

If you had a c-section with this one, I believe that is usually a pretty good reason to elect for a c-section next time and avoid all the vaginal exams etc. Of course, you don't want to have loads of c-sections, but how many kids do you want? If it's just one more then a lot of people have two c-sections. Can you speak to your health visitor or midwife and ask if they do any debrief sessions. A lot of places will offer these when it has been quite a difficult birth.

It depends how big a family you want - if you hope for six kids, it would make sense to get some help around it to help you feel more confident about trying for a VBAC, but two sections are unlikely to lead to significant complications, and three is commonplace these days. Most hospitals would sign off on ELCS after previous EMCS with no additional reasons, although some might make you jump through hoops.

I was also terrified of forceps and had a bad experience first time round which ended in EMCS. I seem not to go into labour naturally (sample size of two) and I think my anxiety around birth is a factor in this.