Well my first reaction is how absolutely crap for you - sending big hugs. My second reaction is to say well done for keeping restrained at the wholly insensitive midwife but I do think you should consider formally complaining to that MW or the supervisor of MW.
However, my third reaction is to say let's not fear the worst. As Lulumama, Klaw and Pendulum say, there is still time yet for things to change. If your pesky lo has space to disengage and turn, it jolly well has space to turn back and engage properly.
I totally get your feelings of disappointment, but like I said in my earlier posts, I feel like I will cope better if I feel I have given VBAC my best shot. Which is excatly what you have done - blimey you've passed your due date, you have and are trying !You did not take the easy CS option. You did all the work to prepare yourself. There are overriding medical issues that might necessitate a CS for any pregnancy, regardless of your history. Please don't be so hard on yourself. You don't have to be 6 cm dilated to consider yourself as having tried and failed!
For what it is worth, my personal view is that it is much harder to get over something when you view it as something which happened to you rather than you decided on. If you think you've had a bad birth experience, then you have, even if others think you had a breeze. Conversely, if you retain control, and think you've had a good experience (however horrific other people think it is) then you have had a good experience.
I think what I am saying in a roundabout way is to not give up hope VBAC will be possible, BUT at the same time make plans to make the CS the best experience you can for you.
If it helps, I also feared not being able to bond with DS1, and was worried about feeding (there was a risk I would have to be pumped full of drugs for another condition which was contra-indicated in BF). Solution was to take frozen hand expressed colustrum with us to the hospital - just hand expressed every day for a week or so before birth, they only need a teeny amount, 10, 20ml max. If you are feeling a bit out of it, you know your DH can carry out your wishes and then you can give that first fab feed yourself when you are up to it.
Hopefully (never thought I'd say that!) nothing will happen tonight and you can have a few hours to rest, calm yourself and take stock. Choc always helps.
Here's sending positive vibes things will all turn at the last minute and you will get your lovely VBAC as you planned. But if you don't, you must give yourself a massive hug for all the hard work you've done already but work with your family and your doula to make the best of the birth experience you do have. And rest assured the next generation of docs will contain the lovely one you've seen today whilst the stroppy MW will have a dull life with no friends.