Another large back to back baby - help!!?

[lumpasmelly]

I'm currently 39 weeks pregnant and despite copious amounts of floor scrubbing, religiously sleeping on my left hand side (I've probably given myself bed sores!!!) and resisting the urge to lounge around on the sofa my baby refuses to budge from an OP position!!! (just like in my last pregnancy!)

This is completely stressing me out, bearing in mind my last birth, which I still find quite difficult to talk about (sorry - long tale of woe to follow....)

Last time round I was desperate for a natural birth - hired an independent midwife, and did loads of research on alternative pain relief, and was confident I could go the distance - I've run marathons and climbed mountains in the past, so I kinda though that childbirth wouldn't be beyond me, despite the horror stories I'd read about back to back labours....I've also suffered from endometriosis for years, so know what a painful period feels like!! Boy was I wrong!!! I had "pre-labour" pains for about 3 weeks (midwife thought it was the baby trying to turn from the OP position) and then when I finally went into labour at 40+8 days (aided by lots of reflexology, acupuncture, pineapples, raspberry leaf tea, you name it!!!) I didn't actually give birth for 30 hours. The first 9 hours or so were manageable, but then the back labour really kicked in and there was no relief between contractions - in fact, the pain between the contractions was probably worse than the contraction itself....a bit like having your back being continually beaten my a sledge hammer. The pain was horrific and I remember threatening to throw myself down the stairs so that I could knock myself out or so that someone would actually phone an ambulance (melodramatic I know - but I really thought at the time that I would prefer to die than continue with the pain!!) The final straw was when my midwife checked me and found out I was only 3 cms dilated, at which point I totally lost the plot and demanded to go to hospital for some drugs!!!...I'd been so sure that with so much pain, for so long, I must be near the end... So, after 11 hours of this horrific pain (20 hours in total) I ended up at hospital with an epidural. The pain relief was fantastic, but as I feared, things spiralled from one intervention to the next....my contractions stopped, my waters were artificially broken, and when that didn't work, they started the syntocin. It took another 7 hours to fully dilate me, and then after 3 hours pushing (to no avail) the doctors finally came in to "help" and I ended up with ventouse, episiotomy and 2nd degree tears. My baby was fine in the end, but doctors commented upon the fact that he was "overcooked" because his skin was peeling and something else to do with his head (the fontanelle was completely closed?)....he was also 9 pounds (despite being told at the scans that he would probably only be around 7 pounds bearing in mind my small build - I'm a UK size 6, with ridiculously small bones). I thought that the horror was finally over, but the recovery was also dreadful....I couldn't sit down for about 6 weeks without the help of a rubber ring, was in constant pain, and still ( 3 years on) haven't really recoverd down below. My poor baby didn't fair much better - he proceeded to cry constantly for the next month or so, ending up in a number of trips to A&E because my husband and I didn't know what was wrong with him and it didn't seem normal for a baby to spend every waking hour crying - eventually we saw a cranial osteopath who helped reset the bones in his head...he put it down to the trauma of the delivery (i.e. baby had a headache!!!) It was pretty overwhelming, and I do remember feeling very depressed for the first month or so after the birth, and very angry that I had had such a bad experience...in fact, my husband and I did decide that we would call it a day, and not have anymore in the aftermath....though luckily, my feelings have changed - I love my son to bits, and am totally delighted to be having another (and would even like a third if possible). However, as you can probably tell, I don't really want to repeat the experience again, and despite trying to remain optimistic, I am scared witless, that I am going to have a repeat of the same experience. Having talked things through with my midwife, she believes that the size of the baby (compared to my pelvis), coupled with the poor position were at the root of the difficult birth (more so the position) and although she is trying to reassure me that second births are much easier, I just don't know how I'm going to cope mentally if things start to go down the same route again....I know that second babies are larger (this one's a boy too) and that the position is the same, so I can't seem to get past that mental block....plus, I know that this time I'm not going to be able to go so long without pain relief and actually turn the baby myself, so there is a chance that this one might be born still OP, which makes me even more terrified as I know that this means that it will need even more space to come out, and the chances of another instrumental delivery, or even worse a failed instrumental delivery followed by a c-section could be inevitable.

Anyone got any advice or words of wisdom - am I being a pathetic wimp? Is it selfish to be worrying about my pain and my recovery? I am seeing the consultant next week for the routine 40 week check, and I am not sure whether or not to voice my concerns?...and even if I do, what good it would do as he is likely just to tell me to "have a go and see what happens". It's starting to really get to me, and I am really worried that I have a complete meltdown during the birth (as is my husband, who is not sure he can cope seeing me in that much pain again).

Help!

Hi Lump

What a nightmare. I also had a back-to-back birth the first time around, although not quite as horrific as yours, enough to have me also dreading a repeat performance with this LO (35 weeks tomorrow).

I am hoping for a home birth this time around (if I don't have placenta previa - find out on that next week), but am planning to head straight for hospital if this one is back to back too. How can you tell the position - is it something I need to as my MW?

Anyway, definitely worth mentioning to consultant. I spotted on another thread a suggestion of specialist counselling you can have for fear of a repeat bad birth. Sorry, can't remember any other details, but hopefully somebody else will. Don't let the consultant fob you off as being silly, might be actively worth asking about whether there is this sort of counselling service.

Sooooo hope it is better this time around for you. On the bright side, it couldn't possibly be worse

I had an OP birth like yours - pain horrific (not allowed any pain relief by midwife), pain between contractions, 4 hours pushing, episiotomy, failed ventouse, contractions stopped and had to go on a syntocin drip, forceps, baby covered in bruises, 10 days in incubator, baby screamed in pain for months, saw osteopath like you. Recovery for me was 1.5 years. I don't think my son has ever completely recovered and I am still traumatised even now.

I was terrified during my 2nd pregnancy about what would happen. Had another OP birth. 4 hours, no intervention, only had g&a when I got to 10cm, although pain was still bad. 1 hour of very hard pushing, but got him out with no intervention, although he was 1 lb heavier. So much easier and I was happy with how it went.

My midwife thinks the shape of my pelvis could be the problem. Neither babies were OP until just before I went into labour. Like you I spent hours each day during both pregnancies trying to avoid an OP baby.

I haven't really got any advice. But hopefully your 2nd birth will be much easier too. The guidelines say that after an instrumental delivery your chances of a natural birth second time are 80%, even after very difficult first deliveries. I was advised to have an elective c-section, but felt the odds were in my favour for a natural birth and luckily it worked out. Good luck.

Poor you. I too had a similar first birth resulting in my losing 4 pints of blood (not transfused til 4 days later as they hadn't noticed). I too was terrified of the second birth, but I was aware that the first one had not been handled properly and was going to stick up for myself this time round. Also my husband knew that the first time round was not correct and that he would jump in and complain before things went very wrong. I was offered an elective c-section with the second but dd was only 18 months old and I didn't think I would be able to cope with surgery and still look after her. However, I am happy to tell you that my second birth was 4 hours long, my ds was 9lb 10oz so it wasn't size, it was purely position. Please don't worry, I think second births tend to be easier than first births and at least this time you will know what is what. Stick up for yourself (or get your husband to) if you don't feel that it is going well. Very best of luck to you.

I had also had a large OP baby. The labour was similar to yours; long and painful, and finishing in ventouse and a large episiotomy that is taking forever to heal (DD is nearly 11 months, still not healed fully). For what it's worth, the MW who went through the "natural" part of the delivery with me (before DD was confirmed as completely stuck and I was transferred) came to see me afterwards in the ward. She confirmed that I had done everything that I could, and told me that if DD was better positioned, a pound lighter, or not a first delivery then I would have been able to deliver her naturally. She told me that some women just naturally have very toned uteruses (uteri?) and that just like every other part of the body, the first baby stretches and un-tones everything.
I'm hoping that she's right, as I'm considering another. From practical experience, I was a large OP baby, my poor Mum had forceps and a large episiotomy that got infected. My younger sibling was a quick easy delivery, so I think there is hope.

PS Forgot to add - I was sorry to hear about your first experience, and I certainly don't think that you're selfish to consider your pain and recovery, quite the opposite.

Lumpasmelly,

You are certainly not being a pathetic wimp pet. All my babies have been back to back and you have to have had a baby like that to understand the unbearable pain it causes. My first baby was only 6 lb 8oz but it was traumatic and very very painful, it took 21 hours to get him out and I vowed I would never go through that again.
My second baby was induced and at 8lb 10 oz a LOT bigger than the first,im only 5ft 1 so I really dreaded the labour but it was so much better than the first, it took 6 hours and although painful I managed on gas and air. I was mortified when I realised that my last baby was also back to back,I didnt know he was op till I was in labour but it was the best labour by far, only 5 hours of labour and 2 minutes of pushing and my 7lb 9 oz bundle of joy flew out!! Your baby may not be as big as the first and im sure that your second labour will be quicker for you.
I was a lot like you with my last one, I DREADED going through labour again but I just stayed upright, right up to delivering him and Im sure that helped. Try not to worry too much, your not being selfish at all, but you may be pleasantly surprised this time. Just focus on what you get at the end of all the pain and keep hold of that gas pipe. You will be fine. Let us know how it goes

Thank you all for your useful comments and kind support......it's good to know that I'm not the only one that has gone through this and also great to hear that second births (even if OP) tend to go so much better. I feel much more confident about having a productive converstation with the consultant to work out what contingency plans we can put in place if things start to go down a similar route...hopefully they won't be required, and this one will "fly out", but at least if the hospital is aware of my history we won't make the same mistakes. I will let you all know how it goes!!!

I had an OP baby nine days ago. The 20 hours of contractions at home were not fun but just about bearable. Luckily I was then 4cm dilated and had an epidural as soon as I got to hospital. Another six hours and he managed to turn himself at the last minute. He was 8lb 3. Managed to avoid interventions but did get 2nd degree tears (internal so they don't hurt)
The hospital bit of the birth with the drugs and gas and air was great, really enjoyable so you could have a positive birth next time.