Not excited about baby number 2

[RainbowFlowers]

I'm 25 weeks pregnant with second boy. Within casual small talk someone just asked me if I'm excited about going on maternity. I felt stumped by this question, inside I was thinking no I am not looking forward to all the unknowns of childbirth and the inevitable pain. Also not excited about the sleepless nights while also looking after my 3 year old. I'm not excited about stopping work. I find work way easier than mothering. But can't work on the amount of sleep I'm likely to get with a newborn.

Of course I am happy that I'm having a second child, it was planned. I'm just not excited about giving birth and the first gruelling 6 months of feeling like a zombie.

I feel a bit guilty about not feeling excited but that's how I feel.

Why is there even an expectation that I should feel excited about it? The week after my son was born was easily the worst week of my life. We both got sepsis.

@RainbowFlowers I understand all of what you are saying! I'm 24w and also have a 3 year old. I am so much more exhausted this pregnancy with a toddler to look after - last time I could happily relax on the couch without needing to chase anyone around.

I also had a difficult recovery - no sepsis but a bad tear so on top of worrying about the logistics of having a newborn + toddler I am also not looking forward to the recovery period. Last time was close to Christmas so on top of the 2 weeks of paternity leave DH had the couple of weeks of Christmas off which really helped in the hard first weeks.

3 is a nice age now too - so things have gotten easier. She eats what we eat so no additional food prep. She is in nursery during the week and does a lot more self play. Working is MILES easier and more relaxing than mothering that is for sure!!

I am putting it down to having both eyes open this time around. First baby we looked forward to through rose tinted glasses but this time around we know the good and the bad so we are armed with a wealth of experience so no dreamy nappy adverts is going to work on us I'm afraid!

Thanks for your message!! Yes I know what you mean about not having rose tinted glasses.

I'm excited about baby number 2s first birthday! That's when things got considerably easier for me, actually that's also when I went back to work.

How many days will your 3 year old be at nursery when you are on mat leave? Mine will be at nursery 2.5 days and I'm trying to get my husband to book 1 day a week off for 3 weeks after his paternity on one of the days my son is in not in nursery to ease me in.

im also weeks with my second!

i am going for a c section due to emcs last time, but DH still only thinks he can take 2 weeks off and thats my main concern at the moment.

Have no idea how i will cope with a newborn and a 3 year old.

I really struggled first maternity leave

Yes definitely first birthday is the milestone! they start walking or sleeping longer stretches etc. I find they are more social at that age and happy to play with other people rather than just mummy mummy mummy all the time. It's lovely but really exhausting when they just want you all the time! That's also around the time I went back to work and stopped breastfeeding so I felt like I had myself and my body back.

My DD is in 4 days and hoping to keep her in those 4 days certainly during the first few months with a newborn. Also helps that at 3 they have the funded hours now so helps the pocket at bit.

We will get through it! Time does fly and before you know it we will come out the other side with a 4 year old and 1 year old

@NemophilistRebel I'm going for a c section too I really hope 2 weeks paternity is enough time to recover!

Yes my first was emergency c section. I'll probs opt for a section this time just to try and decrease the chances of getting sepsis again.

Last time my husband took 3 weeks in total off. This time we are planning for just two. I dont know how realistic it is.

I feel the same. I'm also concerned about how DD3 will cope and worried about being snappy with her because I'm tired.

I feel so similar to this. Thanks for sharing. Due to have Dc3 shortly. DC2 is 18mo. DC1 is 3. Defo c section and I have hard recoveries. I don’t seem to make good sleepers either. I have literally not slept through more than a handful of nights due to a pregnancy or breastfeeding since mid 2015. I’m worried about how I will cope with another round of sleep deprivation and look after everybody... I even tried to beg my mum to move in!!
I really wonder how mothers from earlier generations had so many kids without things like grocery stores, food delivery, washing machines, or community support etc!!

Hey,
I have a 4yo and a 9 month old. Absolutely felt like you when pregnant with DC2, the early days are tough but I have to say I think the hardest was actually the combination of being heavily pregnant, working and having a 3yo. Once DC2 was born each day was easier than the previous one and by about 4 months I was starting to enjoy it.
My advice is just don’t be too hard on yourself: Disney DVD marathons and sandwiches for dinner (5nights in a row ) for DC1 aren’t the end of the world and if you end up being a bit snappy from tiredness it’s not going to kill them!

Thanks Pipanchew2 yea I feel like there will be a lot of relief once second baby is around 4 months old. I know I'm not having anymore so hopefully things will only get easier.