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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Home birth for first baby

50 replies

turtle23 · 01/09/2007 09:38

I'm 11 weeks pregnant with my first,and if all goes well will be giving birth at home. I have had horrified reactions from people (except the midwives who are great) as nobody can believe I don't want the drugs and intervntion. Please tell me if you had your first baby at home how it went for you? Good and bad experiences welcome...just want a clearer picture!

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Gudgeon · 03/09/2007 15:27

Floanna, things can go wrong in hospital too, as I'm sure you know.

I know lots of women who've managed to deliver first babies at home (not me myself, though, sadly).

fruitful · 03/09/2007 15:34

If you plan a homebirth, and decide as labour progresses that you'd rather be (or ought to be) in hospital, then off you go.

If you plan a hospital birth, and follow the hospital's advice to stay at home as long as possible, and realise that everything is fine and you don't want or need to go into hospital - well that's tough, because the midwife won't come out if you haven't arranged a homebirth.

I told people I was going to decide where I would give birth, when I was in labour (which shut them up quite nicely).

You are allowed to write on your maternity notes - "HOMEBIRTH" in big black letters on several pages works well.

And also - your first birth is not a trial run. Its the only time you're giving birth to this baby. If you have a cs (more likely with a planned hospital birth than a planned homebirth) then it will affect your subsequent pgs. Do not be fooled by people who tell you that you should have your first in hospital to "see what it is like". Chances are that if you do that you still won't know what it could have been like!

Floanna · 03/09/2007 15:34

Thanks for the words of support - I think I'm going to take the bull by the horns and speak to my midwife about it tomorrow! x

Pickie · 03/09/2007 15:45

BW Mum I had two homebirths and my DH was not pleased with it. I had a great MW and she booked him in for a visit and answered all his questions, very honestly and not always what he wanted to hear (such as the pros of being in a hospital if it goes wrong he was particular worried about haemorraging and oxygen)

I had 2 easy births at home and last week we were talking about having another baby. He said if he was ever to agree to a 3rd child he wanted me to have it in hospital!!!

Think some men might feel out of control and comfort zone and the thought of having medical staff is a reassuring thought for them.

BWMum · 03/09/2007 15:58

Fruitful - really good point about the first birth not being a "trial run", I really hadn't thought about it like that.
And thanks for helpful advice on emergencies IBS. Hopefully I can get DH comfortable...

BWMum · 03/09/2007 16:00

X post Pickie! Sounds a lot like how my DH is feeling, just have to hope I can get him round to my view.

Pickie · 03/09/2007 22:01

BW Mum Hope you will get him round and have a smooth home birth!

puffylovett · 03/09/2007 22:07

i booked a home birth but they wouldn't let me as i went 18 days over.

but, as it turned out it would have been fine to give birth at home, and next time i am definitely stikcing to my guns regardless of how overdue i am.

i stayed at home till i was 6cm dilated in the end, cleaned the house, walked the dog, had several baths, played on computer and lurked on mumsnet and just wish i could have given birth here.

tell everybody to bog off, it's your decision. also, from all the research i did, generally if you have an ordinary uncomplicated pregnancy, it's actually less stressfull and better for you and babu to do it at home. you will get loads of that sort of attitude though, people just don't understand because it's the 'norm' to do it in hopsital.

good lukc and i hope it works out for you ! i envy you !

mistresstara · 03/09/2007 22:55

I'm currently 38+4 with my 1st and booked for a homebirth, my midwife is great about it, in fact she suggested it at the 1st meeting! will update after birth

beller · 04/09/2007 09:36

Floanna - Im single too, my sister is my birthing partner and very scared of me having a homebirth. I will Get her to come to an appt with the midwife though after I have cleared it with her about whether i can have a homebirth? Good luck xx

mamabear2b · 04/09/2007 10:18

Hi Turtle,
I had the same negative reaction when I announced that I wanted my first at home too but gradually everyone came round especially when I explained that I would have 1 then 2 midwives with me throughout.
However it wasn't to be, after 4 hours I had dilated by 4 cm but didn't dilate any further for another 4 hours.

The midwife was lovely and explained through my rather disappointed tears that she needed to call an ambulance as she didn't think things were quite right. I had been in the birthing pool for 4 hours and was having a rather nice time too!!

The midwife was spot on because when we got to the hospital I ended up having an emergency c section as my baby had a knot in his cord and every contraction was causing him distress. The body is a wonderful thing and the stopping of dilation probaby saved his life because if he had tried to come out naturally his air supply would have been cut off as the knot tightened.

I stil plan on having my next at home despite the chaos of my first birth, so I suppose through all this rambling all I can say is plan well, be prepared for change of venue and trust your midwife, they know their stuff!!

twinkle5 · 04/09/2007 10:23

I had my first at home in June. It was great, I was relaxed throughout and did it without any pain relief at all (would have wanted the pool but DH didn't fill it in time ) Go for it!

hanaflower · 04/09/2007 10:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

naturelover · 04/09/2007 23:27

As promised, here's an update. I had my homebirth two days ago (first baby) and it was wonderful. Managed with TENS then got in the pool, but ended up delivering on dry land. Had a long second stage but the midwives, doula and my dh gave me tons of encouragement and I tried a million positions to get her out by myself. She was 8 1/2 lbs and came out with her hand by her head, which is obviously why it took so much pushing. She was in no distress at any point, and everyone was so calm. It felt very private and special. I'm certain that in hospital they'd have been pressuring me to have an instrumental delivery after so long pushing. As it was I tore a little but avoided an episiotomy, and tearing wasn't nearly as bad as I feared. Unfortunately the placenta wouldn't budge and we had to transfer to have the hormone drip, but the midwives did give me lots of time to try and have a physiological third stage. We were in hospital for a few hours but then home and so happy to have had our little girl at home as we planned it.

cheritongirl · 05/09/2007 10:34

many congratulations naturelover!! What great news! And well done you, sounds like you did amazingly..
aaah, its so lovely to have sort of followed a pg and then hear about that baby at the end! Hope everything goes ok in the next few days and weeks - give yourself as much of a break as possible and just enjoy your LO. All the very best to you smile]

tori32 · 05/09/2007 14:25

Well done naturelover! fantastic news! Hope your really proud of yourself because you should be.

Pickie · 05/09/2007 20:41

Well done naturelover! Enjoy this precious time

Original poster

turtle23 · 05/09/2007 20:58

tori..if you were serious about the pool please email me! sarahturtlehopewell at gmail dot com.
Hope your scan went well!

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Original poster

turtle23 · 05/09/2007 20:59

naturelover...well done! Congrats!

OP posts:

Floanna · 06/09/2007 11:51

Congratulations naturelover!!

mamabear2b · 06/09/2007 14:18

Congratulations, sounds like you did really well. So happy you managed to have it at home, hope you are both well and happy.
Good luck with your new family

naturelover · 06/09/2007 18:13

Thanks everyone!
Today saw the same midwife and she confirmed our suspicion that in hospital they'd have wanted to intervene. She said they'd have put me on a drip to strengthen the contractions and would have been pushing for a ventouse delivery. I'm so glad I avoided that intervention. Obviously if she'd been distressed at any point I'd have taken their advice to transfer, but she was doing fine all along.

Now it's day 4 and I'm having major problems establishing breastfeeding, but I'm hopeful that where there's a will there's a way.

Original poster

turtle23 · 06/09/2007 22:22

naturelover...persistence seems to be the key, but don't beat yourself up about it. You've done so well so far!

OP posts:

tori32 · 06/09/2007 22:40

I forgot to add to my post that although I didn't deliver at home, the home part was so calm. It was my decision to go into hospital(I could see the mw x2 getting anxious!) but they were good and allowed me to come to my own conclusions. I would have been too tired to push her out after 33 hours.

tori32 · 06/09/2007 22:41

Naturelover you did fantastic. You did what you could and it worked! Enjoy!

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