Woah...father has to leave after birth????

[hannahmary]

I just saw a message on a thread saying that in the UK the father has to leave the room right after the birth. Is this true????? I'm terrified of hospitals but was being all calm and collected because 'not to worry, in England you can stay with me during the birth etc...'
Help, is this in ALL hospitals?

I've never heard of this happening at all - my dp was with me every moment during both my births - don't worry.

Not all hospitals, and not generally right after the birth -- more that most hospitals won't let him stay indefinitely after the birth. There was a thread on this recently, I'll see if I can find it...

dh stayed with me for hours after the birth in a glasgow hospital and a dumfries hospital

My DH stayed with me for a good hour after the birth - possibly longer. Each time it was either late at night or early in the morning. He went when I transferred to the post natal ward.

Not right after the birth ime, but they can't stay with you indefinitely. Perhaps that's what was meant.

DH stayed with me even after i went on to the ante natal ward

post natal even

My dh stayed with me the whole time with ds, even when I went for a bath after. He had ds with him. He also stayed with me with dd but not for the bath because I was on a drip so the midwife helped me. Check with your hospital, I'm sure you'll be fine. All the best.

Here is the other thread -- a range of experiences at different hospitals.

Talk to your midwife about "domino care" which basically means you stay at home as long as possible, go into hospital to actually have the baby, then go home as soon as possible. Then you probably wouldn't be separated from your DH/DP at all.

Yeah - i couldn't stay overnight after the birth. But before that i stayed until the moment arrived.

With both my labours my dh was there for every second (poor chap). However if you have your baby during the night, once you are transferred to the ward from the delivery suite they will be keen for the Father to go home to get some sleep. This is really for the peace and quiet of the other mums on the ward, and for their privacy - it's a leaky old time rushing to the loo with giant sanitary towels and some people can feel a bit shy if there are unknown men wandering around. During the day they seem happy to let Father stay put as there are no fixed visiting times.

Sounds odd... I'm not sure my DH would have been allowed to leave! Once we'd done the initial baby on the breast nuzzling bit, the midwife handed DD over to him to put her first ever nappy and sleepsuit on while I was attended to. Sometimes the NHS gets it exactly right!

Talk to your midwife beforehand if you're worried.

fathers can stay until transfer to the PN ward at least.....certainly do not have to leave as soon as the baby is delivered...they need to bond too, and hold their baby whilst you have your tea & toast

This wasn't true for me. At Queen Charlotte they let fathers stay all through the night on the ward. If I was a light sleeper (which I'm not) I wouldn't have been very happy about this. But, since I could sleep through World War Three standing up it didn't bother me.

oh thank you all...now I can go home and not worry about 'one more thing'. I was so pleased to be here for the birth as in Colombia they had told my sil's partner he couldn't be present as it was 'unhygenic' argghhh

What hospital are you going to? IS this your first baby?

Not in our case, dh had to go an hour after ds1 and ds3 but they were born outside of visiting hours, he was stilla round to help me bath dress 9and get told off for letting baby get cold!), etc for a few hours. It just depends on time of day whether they're allowed (ime) back onto the ward, which is fair enough really.

If you are really worried, you could probably try and book a private room. They are generally more relaxed about him staying then because you won't be bothering anyone else.