Really naive question about pain in childbirth

[MonsteraCheeseplant]

If you always plan on having an Epidural, how bad is it?

I was inducted (waters gone 6 weeks early and I was strep b positive so wasn't worth the risk) and I got no waiting in between contractions, they couldn't slow down the contractions for reasons I'm sure I was told. The epidural was the best feeling ever, virtually instant relief - I could still tell was having contractions but no pain. I could also still move.my legs with the epidural which I'm not sure if common or not

It’s different for everyone and depends very much on the shape and size of your body, the size and position of your baby, your hormone levels, the amount of amniotic fluid to cushion the contractions, etc. Within 3hrs I went from “I’m not sure if I’m even in labour” to “OMFG get me to hospital and give me all the drugs!”. And then after another 18 hours it progressed to “I’m going to die and I’m hallucinating because I’m in such severe pain”. I had extremely strong contractions running into one another with virtually no break in between, I was immobilised by the pain, and after being awake for 36 hours I was delirious with lack of sleep. Then I had the blessed epidural and the pain just STOPPED.

I have nothing to compare it to as I only have 1DC but j was induced and I went from virtually no pain at 3cm dilated, to when they put me on the hormone drip I literally collapsed on the floor in agony and couldn’t speak or even see anything. I asked for the epidural after the 4th contraction. Perhaps I’m a wimp but my labour then lasted 9 More hours resulting in an emergency c section anyway. But there is no way in the world I could have survived with gas and air etc, the pain was incredible. Gas and air is horrible and made me feel sick, it’s like when you are lying in bed after a really heavy drinking session, everything is spinning and you do t know if you are going to be sick or not.

Pain may start at 1/100 & build up gradually in a natural labour but if you are induced & anything like mine the pain hit me like a bus at probably 80/100 & just kept on coming without chance to catch my breath, contractions were coming straight on top of each other. If you are induced & need to go on the drip, ask for the epidural before they put the drip in, it may take time to get an anaesthetist to get it set up & it is best to get yourself in the queue as early as possible.

Every labour is completely different. My first was induced so there wasn't a slow build up really it went very painful very quickly. I didn't plan on having an epidural but he turned out to be back to back so I asked for one but it failed twice (ended up with a c section and thankfully the epidural worked with the new anaesthetist).

Second was an all natural birth, labour was reasonably quick and was a slow build up over 4 hours. I only needed gas and air with that one but as i say it was quick - about 4.5 hours max from first early contractions to birth. Had the later fully or close to fully dilated contractions lasted for hours I would have felt different

My mum said I went from being like an injured wild animal to sitting watching television with a massive smile on my face within a minute of the epidural starting. I had been screaming, couldn't do anything but writhe in pain, couldn't breathe, she said my eyes were nearly popping out of my head & I couldn't bear to have anyone touch me, I had nearly knocked my then husband out when he tried to rub my back, I hit him so hard. Within a minute of the drugs hitting all the pain went away.

I never knew inductions could be so different. Certainly no one medical prepared me for the possibility of no breaks between contractions. I just bent double 30 minutes after they inserted the gel, and never caught my breath for 24hrs.

Just a whole day and night of mooing sounds and wanting to die. Epidural was bliss but the policy was to let it wear off before the pushing. So the bliss was sadly very brief. Then they gave me more of the induction drugs after the birth to encourage the placenta out. I had no idea you could have worse contractions after than before.

I don’t say this to scare first-timers, but so they can ask and maybe even guide their own care better than I did. I thought being a researcher and having a strong pain threshold would see me through anything. I was no match for a medical establishment that prioritised their systems above believing or caring about the mum.

As you can see from these, everyone is different and there’s no telling what your labour will be like. Mine was 32 hours, pain ramped up almost straight away and I barely got relief between contractions. Two lots of pethidine didn’t make much difference, epidural didn’t seem to either. Now, the spinal block - that was good Probably because I’d been going 31 hours by that point.... Interesting being told to push when you can’t feel anything at all from your chest down! Mine wasn’t helped by massive amounts of stress though (hospital’s fault) so my advice would be to keep as calm as you can. I think this would have made a difference to me.

My labour didn't build up at all. I was walking around, literally felt baby drop and then a few hours later bam contractions a minute apart. Didn't feel like I needed an epidural though, as pp said it isn't like stubbing a toe where it's pure agony.

I agree, I also didn't know that the pain came and went before giving birth the first time and I'd been to all classes and read a lot of baby books.

To me it was a happy surprise and great news that the pain was not there all the time and for me it did really vanish then reappear then vanish on cycle for 18 hours. (I got used to it - slow to dilate with cms).

The pain was like a mixture of bad period pain, bad back ache and later on bad pain in lady areas. It was not insurmountable and it was very good and new news to me that you had regular breaks from the pain. For me I remember it as 5mins no pain then 5 mins pain.

@56Marshmallow - I love your description of how things go in labour! I really needed to read this, my anxiety about going into labour has been overwhelming over the past few weeks - thank you ❤

Honestly op everyone have a different labour and birth so pain for each person will be different and what they can cope with

Mine wasn’t great, really long pushing stage and back to back baby with no break in contractions. It was horrific but the spinal they gave me for the forceps was wonderful

However someone I know had a lovely water birth with gas and air and said it wasn’t so bad...

@Thatsnotmynameisit I remember that anxiety so well.

I just needed someone to reassure me that it wasn't half as bad as I imagined it would be but I just got people being dismissive or telling me hellish tales that didn't help.

The best advice I can give is to go with the flow and see what happens on the day. Don't take any pain relief off the table.

I went in convinced I was going to have all of the drugs necessary but I didn't need them. I told them I wanted it all though so that I had options. Gas and air was amazing for me!

Good luck!

@56Marshmallow thank you x

I would say the pain is pretty bad close to pushing stage. The fear of it could get worse is also bad. But the pushing stage is actually not so bad and easier then the pre pushing stage for me. My first two I got epidural and I wanted epidural with my third, but wasn’t able to get in time as she came in under 3 hours. I am thankful it was very quick. And still can’t believe I managed it. Once you get to pushing stage it’s no problem because you know the end is near!

I was induced and once they broke my waters I went from a 10/100 pain to a 90/100 in minutes it was crazy. She was born 2 hours later.

Yes, sorry I meant pain WITH an epidural.

Thanks for your responses ladies.

I have had 2 babies. 1 without it and didn't feel the need to ask for it and 1 with it and definitely felt the need for it. The time I wanted it was because DS had a large head and so the pressure was constant and didn't feel like I was able to break from the pain at all. It made a world of difference. If I have a third, I would just go in open minded to anything!

P.S once I had it, I couldn't feel pain but could feel all the pressure. It was bizarre!

Bear in mind that depending on the hospital, you may not get much choice in your pain relief options. I was refused pain relief with my second DC (not quite sure why - wish I’d investigated more at the time but I was just so relieved it was all over) so had to give birth without it. I would have loved an epidural or some decent drugs!

For me, the epidural was the best thing I have ever experienced in my life. Ever.

I had been fully dilated and screaming for about 4 hours before they finally gave me one, and while it didn't get rid of the pain completely (I was told this was because I was already fully dilated etc and you normally have it a lot earlier), it made it about 10,000 times better and completely bearable.

Ended up with C section, but I can't even begin to tell you the feeling of pure bliss after having the epidural. Absolute life saver.

There is no general rule with childbirth. Each birth is different. Some people have a few and all are easy, yippee for them. I had one of those. I also had 2 that were not and no way was there a gradual build up of pain with those. The worst was my back to back. Indescribable. I literally would have done anything for the anaesthetist when he took the pain away with the epidural. Anything.

I didn't feel a thing with contractions, no contractions at all. You feel the pushing bit but must be a zillion of what you feel without. Like it hurt a lot but not unbearable and it's not long either

My eldest was induced and I had an epidural with her. I was on my back the pain was intense and I just didn't feel I could cope.

My second was spontaneous, mostly in water, and didn't feel I needed anything other than to be able to hang over the side of the pool, rock back and forward through contractions, with dh pouring water on my back to kind of distract.

So two quite different experiences really.

I think pain in labour is really individual. My first birth the baby was back-to-back so it felt like my back was on fire and that was constant pain with no respite. The relief of the spinal block was instant and complete.
Second birth was 4.5 hours with no pain relief at all, and that did ramp up gradually. When baby's head was crowning it was the worst pain I've felt (more than broken bones) BUT I knew it was almost over and I'd have my baby in my arms within minutes so that got me through it!