Really naive question about pain in childbirth

[MonsteraCheeseplant]

If you always plan on having an Epidural, how bad is it?

Do you mean how is the pain WITH an epidural?

Or the pain without the epidural? Other methods of pain relief are available

Before having children, I thought (from seeing TV programs) that pain in labour was agony for hours and hours. You know, like the pain if stubbing your toe for 24 hours.

Since having 2 children in a birthing pool with gas and air (one a 9lb baby) it's so different to what I imagined.

It's a very slow build up so the pain increases bit by bit until you give birth. So, at the start of labour, the pain is a niggle (1/100), as you progress, it goes up steadily (2/100, 3/100 etc over hours and hours) so you don't notice that it's super painful until near the end (stopping you in your tracks kind of pain) because it's a slow build up so you get used to the pain almost. So the pain doesn't start at 99/100, you have hours to get used to it, bit by bit, so you can handle it much better than you expect before you've experienced labour.

But, even then, it's not constant pain. The pain happens when you have a contraction and then it stops when the contraction stops so there is respite.

I really never understood it to be like that having done the NCT course and the NHS one. I spent so much time terrified of the pain but it wasn't anywhere near as bad as I imagined until the very end and, by then, you're so 'in the moment' you just get on with it!

I didn't plan to have an epidural but DD was back to back and the pain was pretty excruciating. The epidural was night and day. I felt literally nothing after it. I wanted to name DD after the anaesthetist. (Michael)

@56Marshmallow I’ve always wondered this but I love this explanation, from a soon-to-be-first-timer thanks very much!!

I agree with the build up of pain but found that it was terrifying as it was getting worse and worse and I didn’t know how bad it would get. I was finding it unbearable before I was even in proper labour!

After the epidural, no problem at all, but then they have to let it wear off so you can push

The explanation about pain starting at 1/100 - well maybe for some, but it's not universal, not by a huge margin. You can go from no pain to virtually 80/100. Or if induced, like for DS1, pain goes from literally 0 to off the scale, with very little breaks in between contractions.

Epidurals don't always work, or work on one side of the body only, or need topping up depending on how long labour is. Or it may be decided to not top up the epidural towards the pushing stage so that the pushing bit is more efficient.

Well. I think it varies very much for everybody. I have 2 children, I wouldn't say my experience would be the same as yours. Keep an open mind. Have the drugs if you need/want them.

My DD was a good presentation but I found the pain pretty unbearable. Unlike PP went from 3/10 to maybe 9/10 almost instantaneously despite being only 2cm dilated. I ended up having an epidural as I had a very long early labour and had really suffered before getting to delivery suite and available pain relief. The gas and air didn't really help. The epidural was the biggest relief ever. However ended up having forceps and I do feel like it really slowed things down as you can't move. Pregnant again and looking into hypnobirthing and I'm going to press for a birthing pool if available

Mixed experience here. My first epidural was beautiful, in fact I slept until I was fully dilated. It may well have contributed to my forceps delivery though as I couldn’t feel the contractions at all and therefore had no urge to push
I had a failed epidural second time round. I guess I’m saying they’re amazing when they work but there are definitely pros and cons!

It's really hard to describe the pain of labour. At first it's like period pain. Then gets worse and worse. You can feel a contraction starting and in the middle of one you can't speak or do anything as you are consumed with the pain.

I had epidurals with 2 of my DCs and, similar to a previous poster, I wanted to kiss the anaesthetist! The relief is just so immense!

And if anyone could ever bottle that feeling of all the pain all disappearing in a split second once baby is born - well, they'd be a billionaire!

I didn’t have an epidural just had gas and air with mine but I too was so scared about the pain of labour. I agree with PP though, it’s a gradual build up and it’s not constant. I found timing my contractions so helpful to get me through. I was sat in the birthing pool and I looked at the clock when I started a contraction and knew where the second hand had to get to for the pain to be over and just counted! It really kept me focused but I understand that may not work for everyone.

Also as PP said, once you get to the top tier of pain I felt the adrenaline took over for me and I stopped focusing on the pain and more on getting the baby out. I didn’t find the pushing stage painful at all, tiring yes and the hardest work I’ve ever put my body through, but not painful.

I will say though, that the worst bit for me, was when I went through the "I can't dooooo this" stage. I had no idea that it was nearly over. I thought I had hours left, it was about half an hour in truth.

I had an epidural because of induction and back labour and I was able to get an hour's kip which was great 😁 Before that I didn't get any respite between contractions as he was thrashing about (still is 6 years later)

I went into labour believing that the pain stopped between contractions and you get a break.
And then I had the drip and I was having contractions running one into another. Fucking hideous.
Epidural was great. I could still feel it but cared less. Spinal injection was the best though.

if induced, like for DS1, pain goes from literally 0 to off the scale, with very little breaks in between contractions
I was induced for DD1 and DD2 but not for DS who is between the girls. For me the onset/ build up of pain was no different with or without induction. I agree with keeping an open mind.

I don't think you can preempt these things. With my first my waters broke and I felt nothing for a few hours then the contractions were unbearable very quickly and I begged for an epidural. They tried to put me off as I was labouring so quickly but I really needed it. With my second my labour developed so quickly that there was no time for an epidural even though I had put in my plan that I wanted one no matter what. My contractions were much less painful with my second and I gave birth very quickly with no pain relief and it was fine. You will know what you can handle when it happens. Good luck x

@ShirleyPhallus it was like a revelation for me. You are shown on TV this view of labour where it's constant agony, women screaming for hours and hours but, from my experience, it was nothing like that. I remember thinking "why did nobody explain it to me like this?"

On the NCT course, I was so worried about it, I said I wanted everything (and they put you on a guilt trip about having too much pain relief cause it my slow down labour - not good for baby). The woman supervising the course said "I know a great form of pain relief" and I was like "Great! What is it?" And she said "tender, loving care". I nearly throttled the woman!!!! It turns out, I had my baby nearly 4 weeks early so I actually went into labour days after that meeting and my panic was building (at the time not knowing why but my body and mind was getting ready for it).

Then when I said how scared I was to my SIL at 33 weeks pregnant, she said "well it's gotta come out somehow". Not reassuring at all, just increased my anxiety.

Looking back, like I say, it was nowhere near as bad as I imagined and I don't have a high tolerance for pain or anything.

Obviously every labour is different but try not to worry. I have some very fond memories of singing along to music between contractions near the end. I still have fond memories every time I hear that song.

Pain during contraction. Pain stops when contraction stops. It's not continual until the very last bit and, by then, you're mentally ready for it as you just want to get that baby out.

I had a 9lb 2oz boy with a massive head and I copied on gas and air and the birthing pool.

First labour 24 hours beginning to end. Second labour 7.5 hours beginning to end.

Take whatever drugs you need to get through it and don't make the docs/midwives make you feel bad about it!

I had an epidural in place prior to having my waters broken (had been in hospital for four days by then with induction not working, was already knackered and very anxious about the drip, instrumental delivery risk etc so they agreed to put it in before we got started) and it was a godsend! It was a patient-controlled one so I dropped it right off when it came to pushing so I had an idea what was going on, felt pressure more than pain, but ended up with forceps and episiotomy so hit the button a couple of times to top it back up.

The only downside to doing it like that was that I had to be nil by mouth (ish) which didn't help stamina as I was still in labour for 24 hours and obviously you're immobile for a few hours afterwards too.

Hopefully won't have an epidural again as won't be induced if I can possibly avoid it-had other complications but they are identifying as quite unusual! The epidural itself though made the actual birth a really positive experience.

Ive had three and all were different.

First gas & air with pethadine and it hurt like fuck

On my second one if I could have got of the bed to throw myself out of the window I would have. It felt like all my bones were breaking on my contractions. She was back to back and they eventually gave me a epidural then on to an EC, I was quite traumatised after.

Thirds was a planned section but it didn’t go to plan so well.

No more babies for me. Ever. No way. Fuck that shit

My epidural didn't slow my labour down much at all and I could feel my contractions to push but they weren't painful. Everyone is different

56Marshmallow that is your experience though - my labour was 2 hours which everyone always says is wonderful apart from the fact it was a constant contraction! It also meant no pain relief! And (no induction I might add) it went from 0-100 in well a minute.

OP part of the thing I think with pain is anxiety and fear as to what the pain might be - I remember thinking if I didnt know what was causing it I would be scared I was dying. But I did I knew exactly what it was so I could cope because it was for a positive reason

I had a 30 minute birth, so the pain did not start at 1/100 and build up gradually and there was no respite between contractions. It was not as bad as I thought though and no stitches which is what I had been really really worried about.

I had an epidural pretty early on in my induction (they suspected waters had broken over 24 hours ago, so went straight to the drip) and honestly felt very little pain through out due to the top ups. Managed to sleep through most of the contractions, and was still pain-free more than 12 hours later when I had to have an EMCS due to suspected infection.

Iv never had the build up of pain. It’s been straight to severe agony. My first 3 hour labour with epidural at the end. Second was 20 min all natural. Maybe as I had quick labours I never had the build up. I felt nice and relaxed after my epidural. I was so nervous as well. I recommend an epidural