Help!! First Time Mum

[Leannej1986]

Hello, kinda feel at my wits end!
I'm seeking help from midwives, health visitor and GPS and getting mixed messages all the time.
I know I'm being an anxious first time mum and everything is freaking me out but I am having a real dilemma with my 3 week olds feeding. Since birth he rarely ate choosing to sleep rather than eat, the midwife at the hospital resorted to force feeding him which I wasn't thrilled with and now looking back wish I'd said something, I was in hospital for 3 days due to c section. Once home he settled into having his milk and gradually the ounces increased and he's been putting on weight. He was only 6lb 15oz and wearing tiny baby clothes he's now 7lb 8oz. He will sometimes though not take his bottle one day it was 12hrs, so I changed bottles from Tommy tippee to Mam a godsend they started working perfect, but now after each feed he has an awful cough last bout half an hour. He doesn't burp!!! Since birth even the midwives couldn't get him to burp he does fart tho! Went GP today he says the cough is nothing but it clearly is, my midwife sent me to GP to get antibiotics to help his cord fall off but he wouldn't issue unless an infection, says he needs to burp but even himself couldn't get him to pass wind, he says he's drinking to much even tho midwives have told me he should be taking 3 ounces now. I feel I'm being told different things all the time, I just want to know if it's ok my babies cord is still on at 3 weeks, it's ok he isn't burping but farting, and what this cough is every time he feeds. If anyone can help that be great! Thankyou

Firstly congratulations and I feel you being a new mum is a daunting time! I'd personally say his cord is fine if no infection... the burping situation if he's passing wind and not crying in pain he must be find but I'd just sit him up for awhile after feeding ... the cough is a strange one is it only after he's had milk? If gp has seen him and thinks he's ok then I'd say that's okay but if it's still there 1/2 weeks take him back

Your doing a great job mama done worry about things go from your gut

@MRSCl19 Thankyou, no he's never seemed in pain from not burping. We do still try too, but nothing happens. Always keep him up about 15/30 mins after a feed.
I did think the cough was down to a feed but all night he's been coughing! The GP did say he was nasally/sniffly and should try a steam. How do you steam a baby?

Firstly congrats on your new baby! Motherhood is sh*t scary but you need to remember you're already doing a wonderful job and don't ever feel bad for caring or being concerned about your baby.

In terms of the burping, as a PP said - as long as he's not in pain or uncomfortable then clearly he's getting it out. I breastfed all my babies and some of them were real windy pops and others never ever needed winding. Every baby is different and they will let you know if they're uncomfortable. As long as he's not bringing up huge amounts of milk after his feeds (a small amount of possetting is totally normal) then obviously the gas is being released through his bot rather than his mouth. Also the MAM bottles are brilliant at reducing wind so it may just be that he isn't a burpy baby. The midwife may say he "needs" to burp but what can you do if he doesn't need to burp?! Keep trying but if he doesn't need to and it's not bothering him then don't waste precious time worrying about it.

The cough sounds unrelated to feeding and is probably just related to the cold weather. If it doesn't improve in a few weeks I'd go back to the GP and ask them to check his chest again. My babies all regularly had coughs and colds and as long as you're vigilant with it then they're often not concerning.

With regards the cord, if the GP has checked it and there's no infection then it'll fall off when it's ready. Again, keep an eye on it and don't be scared to go back in a few weeks if it's still there so they can check again for infection.

I think steam is often helpful to clear airways if he’s a bit snuffling- bring him into shower room or you can get those calpol plug ins (they might be 3 months+?) I know mn alternative is a bowl of water with aromatic oil in by radiator... I wouldn’t worry about burping if he isn’t in pain. It’s so hard when told conflicting advice, I found being with parents with older children really helpful as they tended to know when to worry or not! Hope you have friends or family who can help alleviate not increase your concerns!

@muddypuddles12 thankyou your post is very reassuring.
He doesn't bring up any milk whilst or after feeding except a small amount whilst if he's guzzling.
He's only been sick 3 times and I think that's down to over drinking.
I just gave him a steam in the bathroom seemed to enjoy it so will do again before bed time.
His cord has bled abit this morning I'm hoping that's a sign that it's shifting.
I feel these GPS don't take me serious because I'm a first time mum and yes the whole thing is sh*t scary, think I cried the whole 2nd week!

@icklekid I did a steam this morning he seemed to enjoy it so will try again before bed.
I have a few friends but they don't have children and the ones that do aren't very helpful.
Family give lots of different advice.
It's very overwhelming!

@Leannej1986 Oh don't worry, I cried non stop the entire first month with all of my children and vowed never to do it again, but here I am with baby #4 and I'd do it all over again tomorrow. I promise you it does get easier and less daunting as time goes on, and the fact you're even writing on here concerned about it shows you're doing everything right by your new baby already.

If you have a separate bath and shower then put him in the bath while running the shower super hot and the steam should help (sounds like you've already done that though!)

In all honesty, generally speaking my GP is FAB.....but he's not a paediatrician and there are just some things he doesn't know. But that's what HV / midwives and in really desperate cases - paeds A&E is for. Don't be scared to ask for more advice if something is niggling at you or you feel something really isn't right. After all, there's nothing quite like mothers instinct.

If he’s not in pain from wind (arching back and wriggling) then he mustn’t have any wind. He can’t bring up what’s not there. Lots of countries don’t wind their babies.

Antibiotics help get rid of bacterial infections so he only needs them if he has an infection. They won’t help a cord fall off.

The early days are so difficult. Sounds like you are doing well.

Firstly congratulations! Being a first time mum can be incredibly daunting and overwhelming. How often is he going between feeds? My daughter kept sleeping rather than eating and the worry is that they then don't have the energy to feed later. A great way to gently wake them up is to strip them off and tickle their feet.

@muddypuddles12 number 4 fair play, I always wanted 2 but I can't imagine another right now this one is making me panic enough as it is!
I knew it was gonna be hard, but bugger me. Add sleep deprived and hormones it's insane.
All in all he is a good baby!
And I know it could be worse....
I will go back to GP if he's not better by end of week.

@selfsettling3 it was the midwife who told me to book the appointment to get antibiotics for his cord, she wasn't happy it was still on, hopefully it just falls off asap.
I think burping was just drummed into me but I'm happy to just know my baby doesn't burp yet farts.

@seaandsand83 he is going 3/4hrs between feeds.
We change his nappy before we feed him to wake him up. Been working well.
Incredibly overwhelming!