Mother in law-- please can I have opinions so my other half can see I'm not the only one!!

[kerryanna98]

I’m due this weekend but have a sweep a few days before due date and already monitored for contractions etc and can hardly walk.

My partners mum has told his nan she’s coming down over the weekend to stay but hasn’t informed us herself.. she’s in a temp accommodation at the moment and never bothers until she wants or needs something.
I’ve just explained to his nan it’s not suitable this weekend and she said his mum was intending on being at the hospital etc. His mum hasn’t asked much about the pregnancy really except stick her kids on me. I only want my mum and partner there and don’t want to be coming home from birthing my child to his mum, her boyfriend and two kids invading my home. Apparently they was intending on being here over Christmas too? We’re spending Christmas with my family seeing as they help us every bloody day and in general are there for us 24/7! His mum is ringing me tomorrow apparently but I just feel pissed off and awkward now, how do I explain I don’t want her at the hospital, I want to bond and settle my baby and also already have plans over Christmas.. anyone else find this cheeky?

SORRY DID POST EARLIER BUT DONT THINK I POSTED IT IN THE RIGHT PART OF GROUP XX

Why isn't your husband dealing with this? He needs to tell her very firmly that she is not staying this weekend, and she is not staying over Christmas. No further discussion needed.

Sorry mil but all coach trips to the labour ward are cancelled until further notice.
Only the ones who were at the conception and a mw can attend.
So buggar off!!
Regards op.

It's his mum isn't it though, he's soft, he'd say something like "oh I think she's got a sweep on Thursday but it should be ok" I'm so stressed now!

Agre with previous poster that your DH needs to deal with this.

Don’t be stressed, just calmly tell her it’s not happening and you’re not hosting for Xmas either.

Did his nan tell you all this? Sounds a bit stirring? Why didn’t she say, ‘I don’t think x will want you there at the weekend/Xmas!’

My partner I doubt would see a problem with it. After all it's his family isn't it. Also his nan explained to his mum that we'd need to settle the baby etc. She only thinks of herself, and offloading herself on people.

Who the fuck invites themself and their whole family to stay for a weekend - I mean, that's fairly rude anyway especially with late notice, but when you've got a baby due, that's fucking outrageous. Fuck. No.
Nobody wants to host their fucking in laws when they've just given birth. Don't stress about it, just say no, you'll be recovering from birth and bonding with the baby.

Prep you dh on what she'll say and what his answers should be. It's your house too.

Get in there first and send a message saying no visitors over xmas.

Tell the midwives the situation and that they are not to let her in.

If she turns up for xmas, leave your DP to deal with it and go to stay with your family

Tell her no. Tell your DP that if he gives in you will be staying with your family over Christmas and he can visit his partner and child at their house.

Put your foot down. I had no family around for my births. It’s too stressful to have house guests and give birth no matter how helpful those guests may be. You are the mother here and your needs for Labour and birth take precedence over anyone else’s needs or wishes.

This isn't normal, tell him unless his vjj is pushing out a baby he is to have your back and sort this mess. You will be tired and in pain and bonding is so important. You need no stress this pregnant. Also I'd phone jnlaws myself and say you can't have it they are welcome to visit at x time...day 2 weeks after birth

P.s. I didn't even have my mother in, just my DH. Wider family is certainly non negotiable

Tell your partner if she sets foot inside your home then you will stay at your parents house and rethink your relationship. Worrying about bedding, cleaning and hosting while about to give birth is not on. Your partner needs to get a back bone with his mum but you need to be crystal clear with him that you will turn right around and go to your parents until his mother has left your home.

If you're partner is soft, text her yourself Saying ABSOLUTELY BLOODY NOT.

Thankyou. Exactly what I'll be doing is leaving with the baby if they come for Christmas. I've even got care for my dog for whilst I settle after birth.

I remember back to the little things, how much we helped her.
She gave up her house and was staying in a caravan with the kids and partner. Her partner did nothing, yeah my partner was dropping her child to school and picking him up and was getting to the point she was giving him £10 fuel for 8 distances that's 20 minutes each way.. then had the cheek to moan when he got a 3ltr car! Then my partner got a job and she started getting dropped to our old flat every single day at half past 6 in the morning so she could get her boy to school and I had his mum sitting around me all day until my partner would be home to drop her back. I was early pregnant and trying to pack a mouldy condemned flat up with awful morning sickness when she thought it was ok to palm her son off on us for a week when we had 5 days until we was being moved into temp accommodation.

The last thing, after my Nan put us up for a couple of weeks and my parents put us up for 3 months didn't ask for a penny, fed us the lot. We struggled when we moved into our new home, buying for a baby, decorating our home, bills etc we had nothing one day and it was day before my partner was starting his new job.. we asked his mum if she could lend us £10 as we needed to get packed lunch stuff and something for tea and she said "sorry don't really think I can afford it".. I'm angry and frustrated. Our days in the summer consisted on being his mums personal taxi, she even used to ask for my partner to drive over to drop her to the garage 2 mins from where she was staying and it took him 20 mins to get from where we lived to her in general! We're good enough when she needs!

Start saying no, your partner will find it hard but she is blatantly taking him for a ride.

Even if you weren't ready to pop that is bang out of order. I don't even want my family or in laws popping in for a cuppa without telling me they're coming let alone inviting themselves to stay, especially when baby is so close. Put your foot down and don't allow this inconsiderate woman to stress you out and make your first few days with baby harder. Yes she's your partners mother but who cares, she sounds awful and you and baby are more important.