Birthing room

[xxxbabyno1]

Would you let your babies dad in the birthing room if you aren't in a relationship anymore & are on bad terms?

I've barely heard from him during my pregnancy & he's done the bare minimal to help get prepared for baby yet he wants to in the birthing room & doesn't understand why I wouldn't feel comfortable with him there.

No I would not. You want to be as chill as possible when giving birth, it’s enough to be getting on with without having to pander to someone else’s needs. Either he’s in or he’s out, you don’t get to pick and choose what you’re there for so why should he?

No absolutely not. You are so vulnerable in labour and you absolutely must have the birth partner who will support you and advocate for you. When I had my first birth we had to make choices about interventions I wasn't comfortable with - it was so important to be able to talk it through with my husband early on and later (when I was off my head on pain relief) he stuck up for me. Could you trust your ex to do that for you?
Honestly I would have a relative or a friend there in your position, someone whose judgement you trust that you know will is he your back. I wouldn't have your ex at the hospital at all. If all goes well you'll be home the same day and he can meet the baby then if it suits you. After labour you will want to shower, feed baby and may need treatment such as stitches. You don't want your ex there for that. It's about you not baby honestly.

And just to add he absolutely doesn't need to see baby born or even in first couple of days 'to bond'. Otherwise you'd be thinking of having a full set of grandparents, aunts, uncles etc there which is clearly a load of rubbish. Bonding with the baby will be from spending time with it as it grows, changing nappies, bathing it, feeding it (depending on how YOU choose to feed it, don't be pressured to express milk for him either unless you actually want to), playing with it etc.

No, men are useless anyway, I had my mum for one of mine (h was overseas working) and she was far more helpful and didn't ask stupid questions like he did the other time, nor did she push off to buy coffee after just a hour saying "it's taking a long time".

No. And I'd instruct the midwives to not let him in under any circumstances as well, incase he randomly turns up.

Nope. I cannot think of another time in your life where you will feel as vulnerable as when you're giving birth. You need someone with you who you trust and who will be helpful. Not someone who you are not on the best of terms with.

Thank you so much for all your replies!

My mum will also be with me but my ex thinks I'm being nasty and trying to hurt him by not having him there too which is not the case.
He has chosen not to be involved in the pregnancy so I don't feel comfortable having him there when I bring my son into the world.

Glad I'm not being irrational 😂