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Original poster

When is it ok (physically) to resume sex life?

45 replies

patchwork · 27/09/2004 18:51

Looking for some advice... Have recently given birth, and am feeling like i might like to have sex with dp again. I had stitches. Should i be waiting until my 6week check up or is it ok to go ahead if i'm feeling physically up to it? All contributions / opinions greatly appreciated. Thanks.

OP posts:
KateandtheGirls · 27/09/2004 18:52

Go for it!

I had a difficult birth with forceps and episiotomy and was told we could try again at 4 weeks if we felt up to it. You know if you're ready. Just take it easy the first time.

littlemissbossy · 27/09/2004 18:53

My midwife advised me to have sex before my 6 week check TBH. Hopefully Mears (a regular poster and midwife) will be along soon to reassure you.

Hulababy · 27/09/2004 18:54

When you feel up to it; certainly no need to wait until 6 week check if you don't want to. Just take it gentle at first

BTW, my midwife did warn me that they see many women at their 6 week's check who have already fallen og again!!!

codswallop · 27/09/2004 18:55

one mner had sex on return from hospital
shudder! 0 not for me!

libb · 27/09/2004 18:59

I think I clocked back in for duty at about 10 weeks and after a third degree tear - I think you know yourself how it will feel!

Tortington · 27/09/2004 19:22

i did it at 5 weeks - i was desperate by that time!

MTS · 27/09/2004 20:21

agree it should be fine to do the deed when you feel ready - I would wait tho till the flow of lochia is no longer red and heavy, but is dwindling away

Original poster
patchwork · 27/09/2004 20:24

thanks y'all! very helpful...

OP posts:
steppemum · 28/09/2004 15:03

I am overawed that you were all able to get at it so quickly, I think we tried for the first time at about 12 weeks and then it took a few weeks before it was pleasurable! (Mind you I had a huge episiotomy and was very slow to heal).

motherinferior · 28/09/2004 15:05

Also, you don't have to have penetrative sex if that all seems a bit too much IYSWIM.

Blu · 28/09/2004 15:08

We had non-penetrative sex within 8 days. Do whatever feels comfy and happy. Have a glass of wine, use lube, go slow, enjoy!

MTS · 28/09/2004 15:08

yes, agree with the using lube. makes a real difference even now six months post birth and episiotomy

pixiefish · 28/09/2004 15:31

was told to wait till after 6 week check- was much longer than that as i'd torn/had stiches and was scared.
Friend of mine was pregnant with second baby 6 weeks after having first- so work that one out... ouch

MTS · 28/09/2004 15:32

apparently you are extremely fertile just after you have had a baby - although at the time I just felt the midwives/HV gently nagging about contraception was just a black joke

pixiefish · 28/09/2004 15:36

same gap with 3rd and fourth baby- 5th took a bit longer- about 6 months...

bundle · 28/09/2004 15:38

mts, how come? i never had periods for 9 months after both my babies.

motherinferior · 28/09/2004 15:42

Don't know, bundle, but I've been told this too by one of several friends who got pregnant v shortly after their first baby. I tried looking into it once for potential article and according to bloke from Royal College of Obs'n'Gynae it's true.

MTS · 28/09/2004 15:43

bundle did you bf? my first af was 6 weeks after birth - eek

bundle · 28/09/2004 15:43

ooooh. i remember a brother & sister in my class at school - one Sept baby, the other august...

bundle · 28/09/2004 15:44

MTS I'm still breastfeeding dd2 (17 months) and will carry on till about 2. ish.

KateandtheGirls · 28/09/2004 16:05

This may be TMI, but I had a very dirty dream about my husband the night after DD1 was born. I was extremely horny post-natal and it was hard to wait 4 weeks, even with an episiotomy, so I can understand how it could be possible to get pregnant so quickly.

The thought of being pregnant with such a tiny newborn, though... shudder...

MTS · 28/09/2004 16:08

bundle - that's will be why it took you so long for your first AF. lactational amenorrhea tends to be a good but not 100% reliable contraceptive!

MTS · 28/09/2004 16:09

KATG

Northerner · 28/09/2004 16:11

OMG It was months after ds when I finally gave in to a whining dh, and after a huge epiosiotomy, ventouse and forceps it was painful. It still didn't feel right about 12 months after

I think I was stitched by a trainee, I swear it's an 'L shape' now

dejags · 28/09/2004 16:51

ok now I am seriously worried - I didn't tear and had no abrasions or anything after DS2 was born 3 weeks ago - despite him having a 38cm head.

DH and I resumed relations after 2 weeks and it was GREAT!!!!! (sorry couldn't resist), now I am terrified I could be pregnant again - Doc told me I shouldn't go back on the pill till 28 days after birth...

Reassurance please?