Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

When is it ok (physically) to resume sex life?

45 replies

patchwork · 27/09/2004 18:51

Looking for some advice... Have recently given birth, and am feeling like i might like to have sex with dp again. I had stitches. Should i be waiting until my 6week check up or is it ok to go ahead if i'm feeling physically up to it? All contributions / opinions greatly appreciated. Thanks.

OP posts:
KateandtheGirls · 27/09/2004 18:52

Go for it!

I had a difficult birth with forceps and episiotomy and was told we could try again at 4 weeks if we felt up to it. You know if you're ready. Just take it easy the first time.

littlemissbossy · 27/09/2004 18:53

My midwife advised me to have sex before my 6 week check TBH. Hopefully Mears (a regular poster and midwife) will be along soon to reassure you.

Hulababy · 27/09/2004 18:54

When you feel up to it; certainly no need to wait until 6 week check if you don't want to. Just take it gentle at first

BTW, my midwife did warn me that they see many women at their 6 week's check who have already fallen og again!!!

codswallop · 27/09/2004 18:55

one mner had sex on return from hospital
shudder! 0 not for me!

libb · 27/09/2004 18:59

I think I clocked back in for duty at about 10 weeks and after a third degree tear - I think you know yourself how it will feel!

Tortington · 27/09/2004 19:22

i did it at 5 weeks - i was desperate by that time!

MTS · 27/09/2004 20:21

agree it should be fine to do the deed when you feel ready - I would wait tho till the flow of lochia is no longer red and heavy, but is dwindling away

Original poster
patchwork · 27/09/2004 20:24

thanks y'all! very helpful...

OP posts:
steppemum · 28/09/2004 15:03

I am overawed that you were all able to get at it so quickly, I think we tried for the first time at about 12 weeks and then it took a few weeks before it was pleasurable! (Mind you I had a huge episiotomy and was very slow to heal).

motherinferior · 28/09/2004 15:05

Also, you don't have to have penetrative sex if that all seems a bit too much IYSWIM.

Blu · 28/09/2004 15:08

We had non-penetrative sex within 8 days. Do whatever feels comfy and happy. Have a glass of wine, use lube, go slow, enjoy!

MTS · 28/09/2004 15:08

yes, agree with the using lube. makes a real difference even now six months post birth and episiotomy

pixiefish · 28/09/2004 15:31

was told to wait till after 6 week check- was much longer than that as i'd torn/had stiches and was scared.
Friend of mine was pregnant with second baby 6 weeks after having first- so work that one out... ouch

MTS · 28/09/2004 15:32

apparently you are extremely fertile just after you have had a baby - although at the time I just felt the midwives/HV gently nagging about contraception was just a black joke

pixiefish · 28/09/2004 15:36

same gap with 3rd and fourth baby- 5th took a bit longer- about 6 months...

bundle · 28/09/2004 15:38

mts, how come? i never had periods for 9 months after both my babies.

motherinferior · 28/09/2004 15:42

Don't know, bundle, but I've been told this too by one of several friends who got pregnant v shortly after their first baby. I tried looking into it once for potential article and according to bloke from Royal College of Obs'n'Gynae it's true.

MTS · 28/09/2004 15:43

bundle did you bf? my first af was 6 weeks after birth - eek

bundle · 28/09/2004 15:43

ooooh. i remember a brother & sister in my class at school - one Sept baby, the other august...

bundle · 28/09/2004 15:44

MTS I'm still breastfeeding dd2 (17 months) and will carry on till about 2. ish.

KateandtheGirls · 28/09/2004 16:05

This may be TMI, but I had a very dirty dream about my husband the night after DD1 was born. I was extremely horny post-natal and it was hard to wait 4 weeks, even with an episiotomy, so I can understand how it could be possible to get pregnant so quickly.

The thought of being pregnant with such a tiny newborn, though... shudder...

MTS · 28/09/2004 16:08

bundle - that's will be why it took you so long for your first AF. lactational amenorrhea tends to be a good but not 100% reliable contraceptive!

MTS · 28/09/2004 16:09

KATG

Northerner · 28/09/2004 16:11

OMG It was months after ds when I finally gave in to a whining dh, and after a huge epiosiotomy, ventouse and forceps it was painful. It still didn't feel right about 12 months after

I think I was stitched by a trainee, I swear it's an 'L shape' now

dejags · 28/09/2004 16:51

ok now I am seriously worried - I didn't tear and had no abrasions or anything after DS2 was born 3 weeks ago - despite him having a 38cm head.

DH and I resumed relations after 2 weeks and it was GREAT!!!!! (sorry couldn't resist), now I am terrified I could be pregnant again - Doc told me I shouldn't go back on the pill till 28 days after birth...

Reassurance please?