How to handle issue of visitors

[Notrobusta]

I’m not normally precious about this sort of thing and this is our fourth baby so pretty used to having lots of visitors in the past.
This time I really feel that my priority is for the children to spend time with their new sibling whilst they are on their chistmas holidays and not have a house full of visitors. I thought my family supported this but have found out that relatives from abroad will be coming to stay with my parents during the time I will be having my c section. The relatives in question are to be honest lazy and not in the least bit helpful. I am happy for my parents to visit in the hospital but not these relatives. I’m just wondering how to handle it tactfully to ensure they don’t tag along which they are likely to do even if told not to. I have also been told other relatives are planning on coming to stay locally over the period to help! At the moment I really don’t feel I want enforced help which to be honest is just an excuse for them spending hours holding the baby whilst my DH and I do everything else. Not my idea of help but I don’t think they are the sort who will offer to do any housework etc.

Sorry for the long post and I know I may chant my mind after but at the moment feel I would like to try and keep visitors to grandparents only for a little while.

Any tips and advice welcomed .

It sounds like you’re being forced to have people come round and see the baby! Those first few weeks are so precious and I for one absolutely hated getting visitors. I’m afraid you’re just going to have to put your foot down. Maybe a small compromise to keep everyone happy, so say everyone who’s travelled to see the baby can come once and once only? Or even better, if there’s a lot of them, invite everyone over on the same day, and that will be there one day to see the baby, it will be hectic but then the rest of the days are all yours.

I was going to say the same as pp, have an “open day”. Not ideal but you can say people other than grandparents are welcome to visit on say the 21st Dec between 1-4. Send DH out for some fizz and mince pies, everyone can toast the baby, have a snuggle and then leave you all alone to your new family arrangements. If it doesn’t suit someone, then you don’t need to feel guilty. Repeat the mantra “making decisions that don’t always suit other people is ok. You are responsible for your own happiness, not theirs!”

Thanks I think the open day is a good plan and will stick to only grandparents in hospital . I know some people love having visitors but I find it too much especially with midwife visits etc in those first days home. I never feel comfortable breastfeeding in front of people especially in the early days so having constant visitors can be disruptive.