Requesting a c section for baby no 2

[strawbmilk]

Hello,
I'm currently pregnant with no 2 and after a lot of thought I'd be much happier with a planned c section for this birth.

I have heard it is difficult to get the hospitals to agree this so was looking for really any reasons or experiences you may of had or getting this agreed or not.

My reasons are childcare issues for no 1. We have no one to look after her. Plus my first birth was really long and had lots of complications from the start. They didn't think my waters had gone even though I knew they had, couldn't trace the baby at all, numerous second options with consultants consulting consultants. I just felt completely out of control so this is my way of regaining the control. I ended up with an episiotomy and forceps.
I know second births can be quicker. The other thing thrown into the mix is my husband is being transferred with work so when things start naturally it could take him up to 2 hours to get home.

I don't think my reasons will be enough for them to agree to a c section and I wanted to get others experiences before I see my midwife next week.

I had two c sections. Recovery is brutal. Especially the second time when you have another child wanting to be picked up and played with as normal and you can’t as you’ve just had major surgery. Remember you won’t be able to drive for around 6 weeks and initial hospital stay may be longer .

Hi strawbmilk

I had a tough first labour, similar to yours and dreaded the thoughts of a second labour. My dp is also working 2 hours from home.

If you had a section, will you have to stay in longer than if you had a natural birth? If so, will this affect your childcare arrangements? And when your dh is gone back to work, will it be harder to look after your dc and the new baby if you are healing from a section?

With your dh working away, second births can be quicker but he would more than likely still be long enough for him to get back to you once you know you are in labour. I've been in your place so understand your worries on this. My first labour was 29 hours from when my waters broke. My second was 5 and a half hours from when my waters broke but I had strong contractions for hours previously so knew I was in labour and it was time for dp to get back.

And my second labour was so much better than my first for me and the baby. I had a bigger baby (nearly 11lb) but managed to get him out with just a small tear. The labour and recovery were so much better than my first labour.

You should definitely discuss it with your midwife though and let her know how you are feeling.

Thank you for your replies.

I found the recovery after the episiotomy quite tough but I think half off it was not being mentally prepared for it, being so exhausted after the labour and that the hospital was so busy I was just left in the cubicle without anything being explained.

My husband will be able to take paternity as soon as the baby is born and once he comes back to work we should have help from family. Family are all a long distance away and all work so cant just take time off and stay with us waiting for labour to start.

I'm a sahm so my child has never been left. None of our friends have any children and all work so it really is just us.

I've said to my DH that I wild go alone but he really won't hear of it. He's against the c section but he's not coming up with any ideas and as time goes on I'm getting more and more anxious.

The plan would be to start sending her to nursery now one day a week and then send her there the day of the section....

My first labour was 56 hours from waters breaking and was only 3cm dilated after 22 hrs of contractions.

With the 2nd labour I think I'm concerned that if it is quick then time for husband to come home from work, sort the toddler out and then get to the hospital we could be cutting it fine...

I was in hospital 2 nights with no 1 but have read with some planned c sections people only being in for 1 night.

I know nothing is set in stone even with a planned section. It's just so hard to know what to do for the best!

Home birth is not an option as I'm classified as high risk due to age, bmi and developing pre eclampsia during birth.

Recovery is brutal

Recovery can be brutal. It isn't always. I've had 2 emergency sections including one after 75 hours of back labour, pushing and failed forceps. I was up and walking to NICU pain relief free within 24 hours. I must admit I found the bruising from failed forceps (no cuts or tears) far worse than the wound. However obviously experiences will vary. I stayed 3 nights with dc1 because he was in NICU and they wouldn't let me go without him and 1 night with dc2.

Remember that even with planned sections, babies don't always get the plan. My 2nd was meant to be an elective. I went into labour early completely throwing our carefully made plans out the window.

Although, how old are you if you don't mind me asking? The risk of severe tearing etc increases with age so if you are sure that an elective is your preferred option you could try pushing that angle.

It's interesting to hear about recovery after c section vs vaginal birth. Some have said easier and others more difficult. Plus with a toddler to add to the mix who you are not sure how they will take to the new baby!

I was naive first time round and honestly thought I'd skip out of give hospital 😂

I'll be 36 when I give birth.

Has it been difficult to get to the hospital to agree to a c section after having a vaginal birth?

Every hospital is different as to what they will or won't condone with regards to elective c sections.

It's impossible to know whether it will be better or worse for your particular circumstances.

I would say be careful with relying on a day nursery for childcare for the day of the surgery. You'll need to be there around 7am. Electives always go down to theatre later than emergencies and so your partner may have to leave to pick up your child before the surgery is finished. Equally you might have to go back 2 or 3 times before you actually get your CS as you may get bumped from the list.

There are often more complications for the baby, particularly respiratory distress as they don't get the fluid squeezed from their lungs by passing down the birth canal. Added to the fact that they are coming at 38-39 weeks rather than when labour would have started naturally so they might not be quite ready. I've had 2 CS and both babies ended up in NICU for this reason. This also meant me staying in 3-4 nights rather than going home the next day as my friends with VB did.

The recovery afterwards wasn't too bad once home, but it's a pain in the ass not being able to drive for 6+ weeks, especially with a bored toddler.

My stomach looks like a train wreck. Doesn't hugely bother me but it would bother some.

There's pros and cons to both but it definitely wouldn't be considered "easier" in the circumstances you describe

Another who had a brutal recovery from a section, albeit twin. I was unable to tend to my newborns and relied on DH.
Couldn't drive for 6 weeks and 13 years on my scar gets regularly infected as I no longer have the stomach muscles to hold up the pouch.

It is not the easy option it's often painted to be.