Are tears very painful at the time of tearing or is it more the recovery and stitches that are painful?

[PSL1990]

If you had a tear during labour, was the actual moment of the tear v painful or were you more distracted by the contractions? Perhaps it depends on whether it is 1st/2nd/3rd/4th? Thanks

Episiotomy and tear first time. Tear second time. Felt none of it at the time.

Being sewn up was unpleasant. Recovery and living stitches afterwards was really painful. Second time no stitches - stayed in bed for a week and recovered better.

I had a third degree tear with my first. I didn’t feel it happening. The inspection in stirrups was awful, more painful in some ways than the whole birth. I had to have surgery to repair which was pain free. The recovery was fine - sore, uncomfortable but not terrible. I had a lot of tea tree oil baths!

I tore again with my 2nd child but not as badly. The injections into my foof were but over with quickly.

Didn't feel the tear really, 3rd degree, and after I found the dislocated hip from when they rushed me into theatre more painful. 11 months on I can't remember a thing about it to be honest

@Sparadrap what was the inspection like? What was the pain like? I would like to know truthfully if you would tell - I had an inspection in stirrups and before he started the Dr started to say something and the midwife quickly interjected with 'she's had an epidural'. I do wonder what he was going to say about the procedure and what it would have felt like!

@Sparadrap I will agree with you that the post birth “inspection” for damage was one of the worst parts of the entire thing.
With my first I did indeed have a small internal tear, so yeah it hurt.
With my second (born at home), I remember lying on my sofa and the midwife started the “prodding” to feel around for damage, and my DH tells me I looked at her with a death stare that could have turned her to stone, and through gritted teeth just kept saying “Ow. Fuck. Ow. Get off me. Ow.” The only time during the whole birth that I got a bit nasty apparently

I tore during both births. I didn't feel anything at the time and had virtually no pain or discomfort in the days/weeks following. They didn't even sting when I went for a wee. They weren't bad tears though and only needed a few stitches each time.

I had a 3rd degree tear and got alot of stitches. The recovery for me took a long time. I will never forget how painful it was to even walk afterwards. Horrible experience.

I had an episiotomy and third degree tear with my first. I felt the episiotomy which was a sharp burning pain but not the tear.

I had to wait for a few hours after birth for them to examine me to find out the severity of the tear. I didn’t feel anything while I was waiting but the examination was the most painful experience of my life! Far far worse than childbirth. I was given a spinal block when they determined it was third degree and the stitching up was fine.

The recovery was uncomfortable for about 6 weeks and I couldn’t walk well for a while but overall it was ok and healed well eventually (a good year-18 months to be fully healed).

With DC1 I had what they called "a graze" 1 stitch required. I didn't notice when it happened but I felt the sting when using the loo for several days post birth.

With DC2 I had a 2nd degree tear. 27 stitches. I didn't feel a thing during or after.

I had an episiotomy which is a neat, surgical, 2nd degree tear essentially. I don't remember feeling it particularly. The stitching was absolute AGONY tho, as painful as affixing the ventouse cap to DD's head and as painful as transition and less painful than DD actually coming out. The consultant midwife at my birth debrief said that local anaesthetic doesn't work well for some people, something to do with it just absorbing into the skin or something. I had lots of local and none of it helped at all I felt all of it and it gave me PTSD. they did offer me G&A for stitching but I couldn't use it as it just makes me instantly vomit. I was not offered any other pain relief which is against the guidelines, they should have offered me an epidural or spinal when it became clear I was in pain. My recovery was slow, couldn't walk for weeks. I had two diclofenic suppositories in hospital and paracetamol then was discharged with diclofenic tablets and paracetamol which I took for a few weeks, then ibuprofen and paracetamol when I'd finished the diclofenic then gradually reduced the frequency over the next few weeks. One of my stitches tore open again when I turned over in bed one night when I was 6 weeks PP after I'd been discharged from midwifery care, it hurt like hell again and I struggled to walk and sit comfortably all over again for another couple of weeks. I saw the GP and it was only a v small year so they advised keeping it clean and applying Sudocrem (had to get DH to do it) and no need for more stitches thankfully but it was awful. My episiotomy scar hurt internally and externally until I was about 8 months PP.

I didn't feel the tears at the time. Too much going on. I even thought I was fine for the first couple of days until the stitches started to heal. Then I was VERY aware of them and they were very sore. Healed within a few weeks though.

With first DC I tore and was a water birth. It hurt but was in pain with crowning so I don't know what hurt really! Stingy when healing.

Second DC tore again, and more. The actual birth hurt much more because it was induced and really quick. The healing was fine and didn't sting as much, I think because I tore further back and it wasn't being irritated with each wee!

Honestly my pain came from when they was stitching me up. Stung like a bitch. As for recovery wasn't too bad

I tore upwards (towards my clitoris) and I did feel it happen but it was just a bit stingy, like a paper cut. The pain wasn't horrendous. The stitching up obviously wasn't pleasant, but more so because it was squeemish rather than horrendous pain. In terms of recovery I can't recommend "spritz for bitz" highly enough. I used this for my tear and it was a miracle worker, made recovery so much more bearable. Wish I'd known about it after my first birth which involved episiotomy due to forceps.

Also, to add, keep up with pain relief to help with healing pains - I alternated paracetemol and ibuprofen and using cool water poured over the area during/ after weeing also helps loads

With my first , I also had an internal tear, but I'd had an epidural, so I didn't feel any pain when they were checking.

With DS, my ob checked by sight. The only thing that went in there was a tampon to stem the bleeding so he could see what he was doing and injections to numb. I did a whole birth without pain relief, yet complained about that. The man must have thought I was daft 😂.

I had a 3rd degree tear with my first, didn't feel it.

I remember a midwife coming to stitch me up, she looked and said 'I can't do that! I'll get a doctor." Doctor came and said "I can't do that, I'll get a registrar!" Got stitched up, they topped up the epidural I'd had. Registrar said I'd been very close to needing an operation to fix it all up.

It was a long time ago, 26 years, my overriding memory of afterwards was the awful itching afterwards whilst the stitches were healing.

I had 2nd degree 3 times. The first was borderline 3rd degree. It was a stingy feeling if I remember, but the situation and relief to be getting the baby out kind of takes over so its just something that you grit your teeth and get through! I had some sort of pain relief with my first I'm not sure what it was, but second and third I had nothing at all, so can't be that bad. With third I was eating a sandwich and having a cup of tea while they stitched me up.

@PSL1990 all I wanted to do was keep my legs closed. They put them in stirrups and opened them as wide as possible. It felt like I was re-tearing and on fricking fire!!! I asked for pain relief and the midwife laughed and said you just gave birth without anything, you don’t need anything now She was more concerned about me wasting the surgeons time (who had been called in to assess the carnage) than my pain. I ended up in theatre with an epidural.

I did complain about the midwife as she was incredibly harsh. She snapped at me when I asked her why my baby was turning blue - she then backtracked and called in the team to resuscitate. She was awful about the examination and then gave me a haematoma in the back of my hand attempting to fit a cannula before my foof surgery. She grumbled that it was my fault for not keeping still and having rubbish veins.

Yikes, rant over!

Tears suck, as does giving birth in general.

Second degree tear here, didn't feel it happening but nearly went through the roof when they stitched me up afterward with no anaesthetic. I felt every damn stitch.
The after birth check is also very uncomfortable as others have said!

Oh god! The inspection, I had blocked that shit out!

Butt naked, legs akimbo, newborn on my chest, pooing everywhere, two midwives and a student sticking their fingers up my arse before bringing in two more people for a consultation to stick their fingers up my arse to determine if it was a 4th or 3rd.

Urgh.

3rd degree tear here and no I had no idea. It happened at the "ring of fire" stage so I'm fairly sure the ripping in half feeling had nothing to do with the tear and more to do with the fact that baby's head was coming out.

Definitely the inspection was by far the worst. First midwife inspection was OK as I think the adrenaline was pumping etc but I had to be transferred to hospital and it was about 2hrs post birth that the surgeon came to look.
My god that hurt more than anything and I even had gas and air while he prodded.
I had a spinal and went into surgery for repair so that bit was painless and more weird as there was the surgeon staring through his microscopic lenses with my legs akimbo. No one deserves to have to look that closely at my bits!

My recovery was OK. It was painful to sit for a while but I got a kids swimming ring to sit on along with cushions.
I'm hoping for a lesser tear this time just for recovery ease.

front to back tear. i was hurting during labour anyhow but this was incredible pressure. After surgery i couldnt have given a shit how painful it was - i had my baby!

The actual pain i can remember was moving, the day after birth and having a wee.oh dear god.

First degree tear that I didn’t feel, but I felt the local anesthetic injections for the sewing up (and they didn’t do a great job). Make sure your DH is familiar with what it looks like down there as DH was asked for his opinion on the stich job and Just kind of shrugged!

Didn’t feel it happen, and not too bad to recover from, one the first post birth poo had been passed