Due in November and shitting myself about labour

[Twexy]

Hey everyone I'm due on the 11th November. I'm so excited to meet my little girl however, the closer It gets to D Day the more people are telling me about how traumatic and horrific giving birth is.
I have lost count of how many horror stories I have heard and I am shitting myself 😂😂😂
Has anyone got anything good to say or lovely stories about meeting your little ones for the first time? I think I need to hear some nice experiences.

I've had a negative and a positive experience and I think that every birth is so different. One thing I would say is to really listen to your body. I think with DD1 I was so scared that I was really trying to fight my body's natural urges!
Could you look into something like hypnobirthing? I had someone from the Daisy Foundation come out to me before DD2 was born and it really helped me to feel calmer, in control etc. I had a water birth with DD2 and it was a positive experience but I do think that the breathing techniques etc that I had learned did help me too. They also used Frankincense during the pushing stage and I found that helped to really focus me between contractions. I do think something to remember is that people are always more likely to talk about a negative experience than a positive one but there are plenty of women who have very positive experiences.

Also it's all so so so worth it when you meet your little baby! (although I don't believe the people who say you forgot the experience - it's just worth it all!)

I had a textbook labour and birth. Niggles started the Monday night and DD was born the Tuesday night. Yes it hurt, but I had a water birth and managed with that and gas and air

Unfortunately had a third degree tear, and although I know the recovery was unpleasant, it's not really at the front of my mind (and DD is only 16 months so it wasn't years ago!)

The surgeon done a wonderful job of healing me up and no lasting damage.

It's not always a horror story, please don't worry! And it's true what they say - once your baby is placed in your arms every pain was worth it.

I had two inductions - the first was back to back and I had to stay lying down, all of which supposedly makes it more painful.
However, I managed both on just gas and air and my second was 10 lbs plus !
It'll sting a bit, but I knew that and made my peace with it before hand. It's over and done with quickly in the grand scheme of things. Contractions come and go so you can recover in between and the pushing bit is only short. And the relief the minute they are out is incredible.
My advice would be try to relax and retain the bigger picture. It'll hurt a bit but then it's over. Get plenty of rest when you can and if possible, try to get some exercise in before the birth as being physically fitter definitely helps. Try not to get to fixated on your "birth plan" so you can roll with it if you need intervention, drugs or whatever. Listen to the midwife, Drs etc who will help you.
It's so worth it when you get your little girl. I went back for a second and would do it a million times over for them.
Ps - my mum was a midwife and always told me that your mindset can help a great deal. Go in knowing you can do it, because you can.
Good luck - you'll do great.

Im due November too, and bricking it as well.
I try not to engage with those hell bent on giving me horror stories - not helpful!
It's not going to be a case of "attchoo" and baby's here but women's body's are designed to give birth.

I had a really enjoyable birth!! No signs at all until a show at 1am. Occasional contractions between 1and 6am, then became more frequent throughout the morning. Baby was born in the pool by 12.15pm, after only 45 minutes of pushing and only a breath or two of gas and air. (We only just made it to the birth centre!) Although painful, it was totally manageable and I felt euphoric for ages after. I’d definitely recommend the Positive Birth Company’s digital pack. The stuff I learnt from that helped me to be calm and not terrified!
You can do this mama!

I also did the Daisy birthing program, I found it really helpful too. You hear all the horror stories, it teaches you about positivity and I really liked it.

I'm not saying labour is a walk in the park, but it's a one day or so vs 9 months of pregnancy vs 3 months of a newborn. You can do this!

Don’t listen to horror stories - no friends should be telling you things like that.

I was induced and the birth was fine - just gas and air. I suggest you do natal hypnotherapy or similar to cope with the anxiety. I went into it feeling strong!

Everyone is different.
Of course you're scared, you have no idea what to expect.
Try not to worry I'm sure you will be fine

Also, read as many positive birth stories as you can and ask people to stop if they’re going to tell you about something horrific!

People seem to love sharing horror stories but plenty of people also have totally straightforward births. I was one - 4.5 hour labour, no interventions, 2nd degree tear sewn up quickly, recovered in a week. There are a lot of people in the same boat, they just dont go on about it.

I would recommend going to n antenatal class if you can so that you are aware of your options and potential issues. That made me lot calmer as there was less unknown

Honestly you’ll be fine.

If you can’t cope that’s what epidurals are for, and pethidine/ gas and air. There are so many options if you need it. Just see how it goes and keep an open mind. No point stressing and just remember no one gets a medal for not taking pain relief.

I had my first baby in March this year and I'd already do it all again tomorrow.
Yes it hurts. It really fucking hurts. But oh my god it was the greatest experience of my life. In with those painful moments was so much excitement, some funny moments and after having him (still now actually) I felt like superwoman, I couldn't believe I'd done it and I was so proud of myself.
That moment you see your baby for the first time is the best.
I had a very straightforward birth. I was in labour for 23 hours. Went into hospital when I couldn't take the pain of contractions any longer and used the pool there a lot. I had pethidine quite soon after getting there and then used gas and air and the pool. There were times I said I couldn't go on and I didn't think I was able to push hard enough, but you do. And it's all so worth it.

I loved giving birth I'd do it a million times over!
Good advice from others, try some hypnobirthing, I just read a book and downloaded some free tracks from the internet.
My best advice would be go with the flow, don't get hung up on how you expect it to happen, if you need pain relief, have it, if you dream of a waterbirth but the moment you get in the pool you hate it, try something else, just do what you need to do in the moment and don't try too hard to plan it all.
Good luck!! I'm jealous and plotting DC number two currently

Try and do some relaxation birth prep, I bought a hypnobirthing book and then when I realised it felt kind of like it could benefit me I paid for an online course. Before doing this I was absolutely shitting myself!!!! So glad I bought into the whole relaxation thing, my labour with DD who is 16mo lasted 7.5 hours from start to finish which is pretty quick for a first. No pain relief, she was born in the water at the birth centre at the hospital. Not going to lie, it wasn't exactly a walk in the park and yes the contractions towards the end are painful but it's nothing to be afraid of. And DD was back to back with me which apparently makes labour harder....definitely believe that all the prep helped so so much. You have plenty of time left if baby isn't due until Nov. Don't think I started properly with the course until 32 weeks or so. I'm 38 weeks with second now and literally cant wait for labour to start because I know it's honestly nothing to be afraid of (if you're lucky). Hypnobirthing doesnt guarantee a dream labour, it just makes you better prepared to deal with whatever mother nature throws at you. Good luck!

I don’t know why people insist on sharing their birth stories unprompted when they see a pregnant woman. In the end, I refused to listen to them and if you’ve got the guts to shut them down when they start talking, I’d definitely recommend it. Perhaps also try to get a copy of Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth. It’s a bit over the top sometimes, but it does talk really helpfully about natural birthing and what your body can do when it’s left alone to work. There are loads of positive birth stories in there too. For what’s it’s worth, I gave birth in our local birth unit with just gas and air, it was quite quick and I didn’t really have to do anything to make it happen - I just let my body get on with it and start automatically pushing when it was time. You’ll be totally fine. Just cut out the negative noise and trust that you’ll know what to do.

I always go with the comment "if I can do it, anyone can"
I have such a low pain threshold it's unreal.
I had no idea what to expect of labour but strangely wasn't worried about it. My scientific mind was telling me that cave women did this so of course I can, there's pain relief if I need it, hospitals, midwives, specialists etc. Just make choices that are right for you. Who cares if you have all the pain relief in the world or none at all. It doesn't make you a better human.

My birth story went as follows:
Started to get a few cramps at 37 weeks. 37+1 - 37+2 had more cramps that made me need to lie down, but didn't think much of it as I was still early in my head.
Overnight at 37+3 I was up all night with constant irregular pains (anywhere from 5 - 25mins apart and lasting around 30secs - 1min)
Again, though I was being a weakling with braxton hicks.
Then at 9am 37+4 the gush of my waters went. Contractions came thick and fast after that, every 3mins or so I'd say as they felt relentless, at this point I'd only had 2 paracetamol.
I arrived at the birth centre at 10am and was already 6cm. Dd popped out at 10:49am in the pool with only gas and air as there was no time for anything else and I'd decided that's all I wanted.
I suffered a 3b tear which is quite significant, but I was transferred to hospital for surgery (very glamorous having a surgeon with telescopic specs on in your fanny) and that was it.
I suffered no lasting consequences and am now 37+1 with #2 and hoping for a similar experience as to be honest, it was a pretty good outcome all in all.
Try not to let horror stories scare you, they tend to be more dramatic than the regular births therefore those are the ones that get shared more.
A birth can be anything that you make it. Go in there with an open mind and be confident in your choices you make along the way.
It's labour, it's going to be tough, but there's an amazing baby at the end that will change your world.
And people do it more than once, so the prize is definitely worth the effort!

You will be fine.

And if you are in pain, you can choose to have an epidural or other pain management.

Labour is a very small traumatic part of being a mother. Even if it's awful it's over in a short period of time, it's unlikely to pain free and there's very little you can do to avoid it.

I was nervous too but once you're in the throes of it, you'll most likely be so focused on managing it that your fears will subside.

I enjoyed mine. It wasn't painless but it was bearable because it wasnt constant. Even though they were strong contractions, I had time to rest inbetween.

Then they gave me some wonderful drugs -that injection in your leg? And gas and air? And it was like floating on a cloud. Really really bad period pain, then cloud, really really bad period pain, then back on my cloud.

The only time I felt like I couldn't do anymore was when I was near the end. Very common phenomena. Once midwives hear that they know baby is imminent. 10cm. Waters broke spectacularly, all over midwives.

Then the most indescribable urgent need to push. They told me to stop at one point but it was so hard not to - try to listen to them with that, it's to save stitches as much as possible. 2 pushes and he was out.

6 hour labour.

And then the most wonderful moment - I had my little boy on my chest and he was the most beautiful, amazing thing I have ever seen. And all that pain and effort immediately disappeared. Fucking magical.

I asked for them to wait to clamp the cord. And I gave birth to placenta naturally (no injection for me).

Not every birth story is like this. It didnt go to my birth plan (they rarely do) but I still loved it. And I want to do it again!

The key is to try and remember it might not go to plan so go with the flow as much as possible. Don't fear the pain if you can. Find your coping strategy and you'll be fine. Gravity helps too... apparently kneeling is a great way to give birth - I'm going to try it next time I hope.

@westcountrychicken labour isn’t always traumatic. I’m sorry if yours was but we were made to labour and many women (most?) labour without major issues.

If it was that bad, people would stop at one!! I've had 3 babies, 2 natural and 1 induction. All fine, no problems and defo worth it. Gas and air is my favourite bit!! It's amazing!

Ignore the numptys, they're only jealous. Once you hit your due date you'll be wanting it to happen anyway!!

I had an induction (painful), an epidural (blissful), then delivered the most beautiful little girl with no instruments and no damage.
I was absolutely buzzing and stayed up most of the night just looking at her and her big inky blue eyes. It was magic

My labour didn't go to plan but it is nothing I would be afraid of. You are going to meet your baby. Focus on that.

Tell people to stop telling you about their births. It probably won't relate to you.

I look back on my hospital stay as a floaty dream and I would love to relive it. Those first few days with your baby are so precious. Such a little bubble. Look forward to these days! Instead of dreading labour

Heyy I'm sorry I'm so late to the party here.... But I highly recommend the use of homeopathics for helping labour and delivery go smoothly....
Hope you're feeling less worried after everybody's suggestions/sympathy