Strategies for coping on NHS postnatal ward - ideas?

[BottomleyPottsSpots2]

Brief background - 3 really great births, 3 horrible postnatal stays, each of 3 or 4 days (for IUGR baby, slightly preterm baby, pre-eclampsia respectively).

Apropos of the current thread in AIBU about why postnatal wards can be so dreadful due to underfunding, understaffing etc, I have been planning my 4th birth. My ideal is not to go to postnatal at all, but I don't want to set my heart on this given my track record and wondered if anyone had any strategies to share to help make it less terrible.

So far, I have:

• take in my own pain relief (paracetamol / ibuprofen) and take it as needed (I was left for hours with no relief last time)
• take in my own food / snacks (I had to wait almost 24 hours for my first meal last time)
• take in ear plugs so I can nap when DH is visiting (I find it impossible to sleep at night - literally impossible - so by the 3rd day I am usually hallucinating with exhaustion)
• take in own breast pump
• books / laptop / anything at all to distract and lighten the unremitting grimness of it
• cleaning wipes so I can make the toilet / shower clean before using them (last time there seemed to be blood everywhere - toilets, shower floor etc - and it was not cleaned for hours)

Any other suggestions to try and keep sane this time? I will also self-discharge as soon as I (and DH - a doctor) think that it is safe; obviously baby is first priority so any concerns about them take precedence over my comfort.

That sounds pretty bad, was it the same hospital in all your pregnancies and could you go to a different one?
Your list seems pretty good, the only thing I’d add is arrange full childcare so DH can be by your side most of the time (I know I needed him after an EMCS) or your family can rota.

Compared to your experiences Lincoln Hospital is a 5 star hotel, staff there are amazing

Small cool bag/ box with drinks at less than near boiling point. Instruction to visitors to swap bag with fresh freeze blocks and drinks each day/ visit.

Portable fans a usb one, power brick, Netflix subscription with lots downloaded.

Flipflops/ sliders so shower useage less grim.

Eyemask against the lights?

Pick a hospital where you can pay £100 or so for your own room?

If your DH is a doctor, can you not just go home?

Pay for a private room if it's an option? A hand held fan because it's as hot as the sun ☀️

Your own room is the key. I managed to get the second time and it really made such a difference. Oh and a huge bag of minstrels

These are really great ideas - I have a USB fan and eyemask so will pack, and the cool drinks idea and power brick are genius. Thank you so much!

I have actually changed hospital this time in the hope of a better experience but nowhere around here (the North East) gives you the option to pay for a private room unfortunately.

@Solasum - yes, good point, I'm hoping that this is something that might help me argue my case for discharge this time. Last time DH was concerned that if eclampsia set in, he would be in no position to treat me appropriately so I had to stay (and then I was completely ignored and obs not done for hours - it genuinely would have been safer at home!).

Thanks once again everyone. You're making me feel like I can cope! Plus a great excuse to finally subscribe to Netflix I think ...

I asked for a private room on my third stay on the post natal ward and it made a big difference. I would have paid but it wasn't an option (I'm also in the north east). The hospital agreed to give me a private room because my husband wasn't staying overnight and there were male partners staying overnight in the 4 bed rooms.

From my own experience, I would totally agree on everything on your list and personally would add - some comfy pillows, including a nice soft cushion to sit on if you are sore and the chair is as hard as the one I had ; a couple of light cotton blankets or similar to lie on rather than the sweaty polyester sheets and plastic mattress ; soft toilet paper - the stuff in the hospital was awful!

I’d be careful with taking in your own pain relief. My trust use cardexes that are signed off by a dr and dispensed by nurse/midwife. Wards I’ve worked on are incredibly strict and would not want non-prescribed medications being taken. Maybe speak to your midwife about this option, it might just be my trust and others don’t mind?

I took my own pillow for comfort/smell of home.
I would absolutely take my own cup/mug next time - piddly plastic cups of coffee on top of all the other shit you have to put up with nearly tipped me over the edge.

Is there a birthing centre near you? Where we are, if you book in to have your baby at a birth centre, rather than hospital ans then have baby at hospital, you can still transfer back to the birth centre post natal. Generally, they are much quieter and staff have more time.

Own treatment for constipation/piles (check in advance what is appropriate).

Water bottles do you dont need to rely in your jug being filled up.

I think your list looks pretty comprehensive!

Definitely agree with bringing your own pain relief with you- do not put yourself at the mercy of the drug round, which may be delayed by hours as it sounds like you have experienced (me too!)

For me, I would add getting a private room onto the list! That improved my post natal experience by 100% after the birth of DC2

@Bathwater

I don't think any Trust would actively agree to you brining your own pain relief- just like it would be for any other patient in the hospital

The reason why I bought my own was it was horrendous with DC1, waiting for hours on end for drug rounds to happen, then being refused strong pain relief and just being offered paracetamol

Took matters into my own hands with DC2 and had medications in my handbag, and kept track of what I had taken on my phone. DH knew I had them with me. Did not disclose any of this to the midwife etc.

I just wanted to have the option of my own pain relief if I found myself in similar circumstances