Scared!!!!

[2Young]

I am 14 weeks pregnant with my 2nd am going into a complete blind panic over the labour after having such a traumatic birt with my 1st. From start to finish i was in labour for 56hrs and ended up with a kiwi cap and an episotomy i lost so much blood it lleft me aneamic i am so worried i don't know how i am gonna get through it i konow it's abit early to worry about it but i thought if i coould put my mind to rest it would help me enjoy my pregnancy better!

All labours/births are different. DS1 was a nightmare (ventouse, episiotomy, 3rd degree tear, knackered mother-to-be, 10lb OP baby...). DS2 was an 8 hours shorter labour, much shorter pushing stage and non-instrumental delivery. DD was a whole 16 hours shorter labour than DS1 and about 7 minutes pushing, at home in a pool.

I had hypnotherapy about 2 months before DS2's due date to help with relaxation and because I had no positive memories from DS1s labour.

There's an organisation called the birth trauma trust (or something, someone's bound to post a link later or you'll find it under childbirth in the Mumsnet Webguide) who may have some helpful info for you

ds1's birth was a bit like you describe - 53 hours end to end, ventouse and episiotomy. Was ds2's birth similar? Not at all - 30 minutes end to end, no pain relief, only 2 pushes and he was an unplanned home birth! Which just goes to show that what happened 1st time has absolutely no bearing on what will happen next time. HTH

2young,

before you start thinking about your impending arrival - try to gain some closure on your first birth.

1/ get hold of your notes - and make an appt with the hospitals mw counsellor to go through them with you.

2/ take a look at: www.birthtraumaassociation.org.uk/

3/ talk to your gp - he may be able to get you extra mw appts this time round so you can discuss your birth plan thoroughly

4/ look into getting some extra support, try www.doula.org.uk

dont panic!

CX

everything that has been said already is great advice

it is not too early to get yourself in the right frame of mind for birth

there is a lot you can do to make this experience more positive, and the most important thing is to come to terms with your first birth

herts has posted some excellent links, i certainly recommend all of those too !