Terrified of c section, any advice at all appreciated

[fairybeagle]

Hi,
I have just found out I have to have a section for my second DC. First was vaginal birth with forceps and epistome and there were further complications which have left me with lasting damage.

I'm just so scared. I'm more scared about the recovery, in particular looking after my toddler who'll be 2.4 months.
I feel so sad thinking that I won't be able to lift him or hug him or put him to bed, can he still climb up and cuddle me?
How much pain will I be in?
I'm also sad at the thought of not being able to change and dress my newborn, is this true? I've only heard negative experiences from friends and feel so afraid and sad.

Also I feel sad that I won't be able to get out and about with my baby until a good few weeks in.

Sorry for the essay! I just feel so alone and scared and stupid because I know it's a privilege really as well as so many women in the world don't have the option.

Everyone's circumstances are different but I had an EMCS and was out and about with baby within a few days! We were in supermarket three days post section. I was changing and dressing her in the hospital, able to get down on floor and up again when I got home, not in any great pain that couldn't be controlled with paracetamol
and ibuprofen. DP did dress her for the first time as I couldn't feel my legs yet

I know some people do struggle but honestly I was amazed how fine I felt within a short space of time. I was on my feet and in the shower within seven hours of DD being born.

Some people might have had the opposite experience though so you just need to take it as it comes, but certainly after a fortnight I felt almost back to normal in terms of what I could do day to day (but I made DP do the hoovering for the whole six weeks ), so it's not the case for everyone that it'll take weeks and weeks of being crippled. I was back driving at four weeks and could have done earlier except DP was off work so there was no need.

My CS was an overwhelmingly positive experience with the caveat that I didn't have an older child, and I haven't had a vaginal birth to compare it with. The actual process was calm and perfectly pleasant, and I was walking around again by later that evening stayed in hospital for two nights afterwards. The only thing that was very painful once I was at home was getting up from a low seat/bed, and I wasn't able to step over the side of the bath for a shower (as we only had an over-bath shower then), but I was able to do most things. I wouldn't have wanted a toddler climbing on me, though -- I'm sure people who had a CS with an older child will have tips for how to manage this.

But I have no complaints -- I felt lucky to have had a CS in many ways.

My tip is to be as active as possible. I felt the sorest when I'd been sitting or lying down in the same position for long periods of time. If I made sure to get up frequently and change position, I felt a lot better.

It's ok to be scared! Have you spoken to your midwife about it?

Firstly, the general rule is 'don't lift anything heavier than the baby' so you'll definitely be able to pick up, dress, bathe your newborn and do everything you would normally do for them.

Your 2.4 yo - honestly, I don't think you'll be able to pick them up, but they can certainly climb up and cuddle you. You'll already have taught him to be a wee bit careful around your bump, I'm sure, so it's just the same thing.

I was out and about two days after, no problem at all. And didn't find the pain too bad - I'm allergic to co-codamol by the way so I did the whole recovery on paracetamol and ibruprofen!

Things that were difficult for me: sitting in the car for a long time, it pulled on my wound. Pulling my washing pulley down and bumping the pram up and down kerbs - there was just something about pulling/pushing up and down that made me wince BUT they were all do-able.

Please don't be scared - it's different from recovering from a VBAC but it's not necessarily worse, especially considering your previous birth was so traumatic.

Take care and speak to your MW xx

I've had two caesareans. The first was an emergency, the second was planned. The planned section was an amazing experience. The procedure was explained to me by the consultant in our appointments before the section and then explained in further detail on the day while I was waiting. The anaesthetist was lovely and so patient when I got upset and anxious once we were in theatre. Things were explained to me as they were happening and in no time at all, DD was born. Recovery with the planned section was way better than the emergency. I was walking around 12 hours after and went for a short walk outside with DD and DP when she was 5 days old. I didn't lift anything heavy though. DS is much older so doesn't need picking up! I was fine changing and dressing DD. I needed a hand getting out of bed and getting in and out the shower. DP was on hand to do all the heavy duty stuff. I felt back to myself within 2-3 week and started driving again after 3 weeks.

I’ve had two sections - the first emergency the second planned. The first was tough but I was home on day 3. The second planned section was a breeze in comparison. I requested to go home as soon as my catheter was out (so about 24 hours post section) and they agreed (I knew I would feel much more comfortable recovering at home). The difficult bits I found were -

• the drive home - the first time we had a taxi driver who flew over speed bumps and this was agony. The second time I had a small cushion between my seatbelt and my scar and this was better.

• getting out of bed - it felt very sore initially going from a lying to a sitting position. Take this slowly. I’ve read that a dressing gown cord tied to the end of your bed can help as a kind of lever.

Other than that, my recovery was fine. Take the pain medication as you are advised to, don’t try and skip a dose because you are feeling OK. Both times my DH was back at work within two weeks and I managed fine. I didn’t drive for the six weeks recommended but I felt fine to drive by 3/4 weeks. This didn’t mean we weren’t out and about though, both times we were out for walks within a week. I had DD to get to nursery on the bus the second time so had little choice!

Best of luck and enjoy meeting your new baby

OP I am so sorry you are anxious about a C-Sec

I had an EMCS almost 2 months ago and I can tell you I would choose to have a CS over a vaginal birth now having experienced both.

Like you, I had to have forceps and epistome with my first birth and the recovery from that was harder than the recovery from my EMCS.

I was discharged from hospital with my EMCS within 24 hours and was up about outside, carrying things the next day.

Every recovery for every birth is different so I dont know what your CS will be like but know that my EMCS was fine. Good luck x

I had an emergency section with my twins. I actually had a section scheduled for three weeks later but one twin stopped moving so it happened very quickly. It happened on a Friday night, and I was discharged by Sunday lunchtime.

Now in fairness I had no older child, and my twins went straight to nicu and were in incubators and very unwell so I wasn’t able to hold them much, but I did hold one of them the next day with no issues (although he was only 4.5lb!).

I’m guessing you had an epidural for your assisted delivery last time? If so, you’ve already done the hardest part of my c section - my spinal was a bit of a disaster and I’m terrified of needles so that was the worst part. I was terrified I would feel them cutting me as you can still feel movement but they test with a cold spray first.

The actual c section part is very fast - a few minutes for me, although maybe a bit longer for a planned section if they’re not rushing. Hopefully you’ll be able to hold your baby while they stitch you up, depends if you and they are okay.

I felt quite sick during the surgery but I told them and they gave me meds right away and they worked instantly so I wasn’t sick. My blood pressure did drop so I was a bit spacey and don’t have the clearest memories of it all happening.

After the surgery as the spinal wears off, the pain comes on gradually as feeling comes back - as soon as you feel it start ask for pain relief. If you can keep on top of the pain recovery is much quicker. I need a lot of pain relief due to high tolerance to opiates and they gave me whatever I needed.

The worst part was having to roll myself over a few hours after the op so they could clean me up. After that the pain meds did their job. The next morning DH helped me walk to the loo. Spent most of the day in NICU in a very uncomfortable chair. Went home the next day, managed stairs etc fine, I was just a bit slow.

I did have a lot of swelling after mine - toes to hips, I was so swollen and it took weeks to improve. Unfortunately I started to get cellulitis in my knee but it was quickly treated. That was the only problem I had.

Your first birth sounds like it was really traumatic and I’m sure painful with a tough recovery. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised by this experience! I have a few friends who had traumatic first births and then a planned section and they all said it was a wonderful experience.

Another one here who was amazed at how quickly I recovered after an emcs. Yes, I was a bit sore. But some of my friends who has instrumental births seems to take much longer to recover.
I was up & about in under 12 hours. I was out & about with the baby after 4 or 5 days. I think they key is to be careful (with lifting etc) but also keep active.
Good luck 🍀

I had a CS with DD2 and on arriving home DD1 (2.4) launched herself into my arms and I unthinkably scooped her up and cuddled her!

It was fine. I didn’t explode (which was what I was waiting for). Wouldn’t recommend it obviously but you’ll certainly be able to have lots of cuddles with older DC (on the couch side by side) and hold and care for the baby. You just have to be careful, pace yourself, and take regular pain relief as long as you need it. And make use of all help offered.

I had two CS- one for failed induction, the other planned. They were both lovely experiences. Really really magic. I know it can go any way but I certainly was happy with mine. Only real bugger after was the fear of sneezing!

Good luck. You’ll be great!

I think it's very individual but I've had 2 emergency sections and bounced back after both physically. I had failed forceps with dc1 and the bruising from that hurt more (no tears/cuts) than the section wound so you might be pleasantly surprised. With my second, the horrendously positioned cannula was the biggest issue. The midwife in charge of the ward popped her head around the curtain to introduce herself around 5 hours after dc1 was born to find me standing there putting my tights on.

I did my first nappy change with dc1 standing at his incubator when he was about 24 hours old having first walked to NICU on my own (down a flight of stairs and at the other side of the hospital). Dc2 I dressed myself in recovery with zero help from anyone else. Dh stayed with us in a private room but he was asleep by 8pm on his camp bed and I did all the feeds, the picking her up/putting her down, changing her nappy all by myself with zero issues.

Didn't need any pain killers post what I was given in theatre with either and was doing the 3 mile round trip to preschool with the pram by week 2. We were out the first week with both. Dc2 we stayed one night in hospital (she was born on thursday) and saturday we went out for lunch and then to Messy Church.

Recovery varies from woman to woman but everyone I know could look after their dc by themselves pretty fast.

I had an ELCS and it was fine, home within 48 hours and able to do most things. The most disruptive bit was the first 24 hours when still catheterised as you can't move about a lot but honestly I had no complaints. Driving at 3 weeks -iirc - doctor was happy that I had full mobility for driving.

I found I tired easily for a couple of weeks afterwards so walking long distances was out, pushing a shopping trolley also not great (something to do with how you use your core muscles when you push it round corners - who knew?!) but really it was fine.

Good luck OP, I'm sure you'll be fine x

Had two amazing planned sections was fine recovered well. Only stayed in hospital one night after section two was wiggling my toes in post op. You can lift and change baby the midwifes (quite rightly) leave you too it. Ds was three when I had second was at home cuddling and him jumping all over me you will be fine.
Can not advise as I don't drive but some natural births seem a lot harder to recover from or maybe I just got lucky.

I had no pain at all with my section. I was in the ward shower 6 hours after it with no problems. Admittedly I had to stop for a rest on the 10 min walk to the car (while carrying the baby) and it was harder to stand up (I needed to lean on something) which lasted about a week. Otherwise I was fine. Completely back to normal within about 3 weeks.

I had a really positive experience of a CS with DC3 after two 'normal' births. As a midwife I can confidently tell you that the two main top tips are be as active as possible as soon as possible, and to take the medication four hourly when you're home, don't wait for any pain to kick in, just take it on a scheduled basis. CS, especially planned ones, can be very calm and chilled , which ultimately is a positive for baby in my experience.

I've had two - first as DC was breech, second as first was really easy and I had a great recovery. I wanted that again, rather than the risks and uncertainty of trying for a natural delivery.

I couldn't lift DC1 up for a while - but I could certainly cuddle her, get down on the floor to play with her etc. Had to remind her not to climb over my tummy, but it was a manageable situation. I could pick up the baby, dress them etc with no problems. I was out and about within days.

There are a lot of threads on here with good tips for recovery - definitely worth looking up. A key thing to remember is that planned sections are generally much easier than emergencies. I'm not sure if the people you talked to had emergency sections or planned ones - but rushed, panicked surgery after hours of labour and pushing is very different to a nice, calm op when you're reasonably well rested.

Good luck. They really aren't necessarily as bad as you're expecting!

My recovery from my two c sections were different.

1st emergency full anesetic needed and was kept in for 15days. I was able to use the moving need to keep me in that time, nurses on hand checking wound, came home and managed on just the basic pain killing drug but struggled with stairs, so had everything set up at height I could use. Went out a few days later.

2nd was elective as baby breech and big. Very calm, I knew I was going to be first that day as it had been arranged because of the reason being the first. Before this I had prepped my 2yr old, we taught her how to get up on to sofa (small child). I set up a box with books and activities that could be done next to me but mostly when feeding baby, we read books and sang songs and occasionally I had both asleep on me (normally when I forgot to go to toilet first!!).

Recovery wise I found it harder, I had less help, I can home after 48hrs and really struggled with the bed do suggest finding a way to over come that, o spent nights on sofa upright/able to walk around or feeding baby. I had an allergic reaction to the glue they use on the cast, it was the hardest bit of recovery. Was out and about probably in week 3 but weather was bad and I just needed that time to adjust.

Everyone is different. Also if you drive check your insurance mine had a blanket 6 weeks after, some day other things.

I'm a mixed bag really, I found getting around quite difficult and couldn't get into bed my first night home as it was so painful the thought of getting back out to see to baby or go to the loo was enough to put me off.

I was in hospital two nights due to suspected sepsis and did unfortunately end up with multiple infections in my wound. I am overweight and had some bad advice about putting a sanitary towel against the wound which I think may have contributed to this.

When sat around I had no pain at all really it was just when I moved.

Its great seeing for some people that's not the case so fingers crossed you're one of them!

A planned cs is an absolute breeze compared to a difficult vaginal birth. Well that’s my experience anyway.

I had one emergency cs after a nightmare being in labour for 23 hours, where the pain of the contractions far outweighed anything during or immediately after the operation.

I then had an elective cs 2 years later, and the difference was incredible. I’ve had worse check ups at the dentist. There was not a single minute of pain, and recovery was much quicker than I expected.

Good luck. Don’t worry!!!

Pain for a few days much better when up and about
Difficulty getting out of the bath (but same as when pregnant)
Could lift and change baby
The nurses are there to help you so use them!!

Think about if you want to see the baby come out and if you want the baby straight away rather than cleaned up etc

Thank you all so, so much for the replies and sharing your experiences. I feel quite a bit better about the idea and have started putting some things in place from your tips ie. support network once out and will be checking out at many threads on how to prepare as possible! Thank you again x

I’ve had two planned CS. Apart from the itchyness of the scar, the overwhelming feeling was of having done twelve million sit-ups.

If you are planning

Batch cook frozen meals
Get a slow cooker
Stock pile sweets biscuits and chocolate
Store up your favourite drinks

I made baskets for when we came home. One for baby with nappies, wipes, nappy cream, muslins and extra clothes. One for ds with some new toys, snacks and drinks and one for me with snacks, drinks, a couple of new books which I read over dc2's head, nipple cream. I found that really useful. I kept them at the end of the sofa so I could just veg out, feeding dc2 and keeping dc1 roughly occupied if I felt like it.