Third degree tearing (3B) and complications

[Lallyfox]

Hello all

I have birth to my first baby recently, and this resulted in forceps and a third degree tear.

I stayed in hospital for a couple of days post delivery but now I'm home.

I am really struggling with the added complications that have followed the tear, specifically bowel incontinence. Please, please reassure me that this gets better. I am so embarrassed, and I have refused all visitors on the basis that I'm scared of the embarrassment that may follow.

My husband is great and supportive, but from a personal point of view, I'm really struggling with the lack of dignity I feel like I've been left with (not at all my husband's fault!).

I am so grateful to have my baby, but I really need to know that I will heal too.

I had an episiotomy followed by a 3rd degree tear 11 years ago. Fortunately it healed nicely and not had any complications. However they let me opt for an elective c-section with my next baby 2 years later as if I were to tear again it may not heal as well as it did the first time.

Hi Lally, sorry to hear you have had such a traumatic experience. Have you had your initial home visit from your midwife? She should be able to give you some info about the healing process. Did the dr who performed the forceps delivery recommend a follow-up appointment with them? If not, I would recommend a trip to your GP to get some answers so you know what the plan is if you aren't feeling better soon.

It's early days at the moment so be gentle with yourself and get plenty of rest (as much as baby allows!).

Hi OP, I had a 3dt with my first a couple of years ago. The recovery really is horrible but it DOES get better. I found the bowel incontinence actually went quite quickly- have you been referred / seen by a physiotherapist? If not then I think you should contact your GP, or midwife if still under their care, and ask for a referral. They can give you specific exercises and make sure you're healing properly. I also highly recommend the Facebook group Severe Birth Tears (UK) - you will find lots of help and support there from women who have been through or are going through exactly the same as you. Take care of yourself x

I had a 3c tear with my second DC a few years ago, so external and internal anal sphincter damage. I agree with PP that the bowel incontinence itself only lasted for a few days. Are you taking lactulose or similar? This made the incontinence worse for me and things improved after I stopped taking it.

You must discuss it with your midwife, or call the labour ward. Longer-term, did they make you an appointment with a continence midwife? I think they made me book one straight after the birth and I saw her six weeks later, then had a follow up a few months after that.

Good luck. It is a bit traumatic at the time, as well as coping with a newborn, but mine was worse than yours and did heal really well.

This was me nearly 3 years ago. I agree, the lactose made the bowel incontinence worse, I ended up halving the dose then stopping it all together. Make sure you attend gynae consultant and physio appointments. These are heavily unattended. I still get bowel urgency now and again especially if I have a dodgy tummy and I struggle to go fully, but pelvic floor exercises really help. I've just given birth to my second via elective caesarean as recommended by my consultant. Things will improve!

@Lallyfox

I’ve no advice but I’m so glad to find this thread. I’m 5 days PP with a third degree tear. The indignity of leaking shit is just horrendous. The birth was very traumatic and I feel so angry about it.

You’re not alone. Wishing you a quick recovery!

So sorry things are tricky. I had a 4th degree a couple of years ago and have recovered completely from it. Initially I definitely had some urgency and ‘surprise’ passing wind which was in part from the elephants dose of lactulose they had me on as well as the actual damage. I also definitely had some PTSD type symptoms from the trauma of everything. If you haven’t been referred to physio get that done either by your midwife or GP ASAP, I was seen within a week of getting home and started on exercises etc which really really helped. I also had a follow up with colorectal surgery at around 16weeks to check I was healing fine and a debrief with the supervisor of midwives at 6weeks post delivery. It took a good few weeks to feel like things were normal and in all honesty I had pain for months (not unbearable or requiring pain meds but aware of it particularly if I’d over done it - but I had torn badly up into my bowel). Really concentrate on the physio exercise and things will get loads better.