Talk me out of having a caesarian

[ggglimpopo]

I know that it is early days but I am seriously considering a section.

I have done childbirth five times and have nothing to prove - too posh to push does not apply!

I am worried about something going wrong during childbirth, I have had scary labours where things were touch and go.

I am old.

I just want the safe delivery of a healthy baby.

Please give me some reasons why I should or shouldn't.

Thank you Lulumama - I am so bloody weepy at the moment (teary but fine really!) and your post made me cry for no reason. IOthink it is the kindness andn empathy that gets to me - which is bloody stupid as that is what I am looking for!!

Daisy - This being France I would be in hosp (with babe and dh!) for at least a week post op (red wine at meals and cable tv!) so I would not need to do anything strenuous. My mil will come and look after the others and then cook lovely French meals for us when I get home). But I see what you mean about it hurting and about being slower to recover.

oh ggg.....we all just want everything to be ok for you and your family....don;t know if you do hugs, but have one anyway (((ggg)))

Thank you!

france sounds bloody marvellous!

i can't imagine how you are feeling ggg but wish you all the luck in the world.

GGG

When I saw the title to this my hackles raised. I am extremely anti sections, having had two and then having had two VBA2Cs. However, sometimes it is what is right for you, if you feel that it is the right thing for you then do it.

I would, as I am sure that loads of other posters have already, point out the facts that it is major abdominal surgery, you will be more likely to take longer to recover from this method of birth. The statistics do say that on the whole it is better for the baby to travel down the birth canal and be born the 'natural' way.

I have two section children, they were not harmed by their birth, I on the other hand was both mentally and physically.

Talk to your obstetrician, your dh and anyone else whose opinion you trust. It is about you, your baby, your body and your family.

Whatever you decide - good luck

Bibis - I think I would have said the same as you if this was a couple of years ago. Can I ask how were you harmed mentally by the sections? I had third degree tearing after dd 1 and remember crying in the car on my way to work when she was about three months old as it hurt so much to sit down for so long....

Chevre - thank you.

On the physical side again, my DS had a hard time understanding how sore and that he couldn't jump all over me. poor lamb only wanted cuddles. he was also very upset seeing me crying and miserable.

you said you are old....i don't kow how old and it would be rude to ask , but i was 33 when i had ds and 38 now and less fit than i was 5 years ago. the reduction in fitness and added years made a huge difference to my recovery times

france sounds a great place to have a baby...looks like they really look after mum.

good luck!

I am 43!

I've had two c-sections - one emergency, one planned. The planned c-section was a lovely relaxed experience. I only had paracetamol pain relief afterwards for about four days in each case - nothing else after that. I recovered quickly- especially after the planned c-section despite looking after a 2 year old at the same time. No numb stomach - and, although it was never completely flat again, it would have been very acceptable in a bikini had I chosen to wear one! DS was a big baby for me - the physio had to pull the muscles together slightly after him (weird feeling but it didn't hurt), after DD (who was a pound and a bit lighter than DS) no problem at all. Choose whatever will make you feel least worried. Good luck with whatever you choose.

Hi ggg - can completely understand why a cesarian seems like the "safe" option and why you would choose that. I don't know about your past birth history, but if they have been traumatic then again I can see why a cesarean would be attractive. What you might find helpful is to get a piece of paper and write down the mnemonic BRAIN - the letters stand for

Benefits - what would be the pros of a cesarean? These can include physical and psychological benefits, benefits for you, your baby, your OB, rest of the family etc.

Risks - what would be the risks? Same catogories as above - risks for you, risks for the baby etc. I am sure you know what these are but if not then google is your friend.

Alternatives - any other options you could consider? Without knowing your past history it's hard to say, but if you are concerned about repeating past experiences can you think of any other ways to do this? e.g a waterbirth, a homebirth, allowing yourself to go into labour and then having a cesarean, different forms of pain relief, whatever. Maybe a doula or midwife could help you go over your options.

Intuition - this is how you feel inside, what your emotions are telling you to do.

Nothing - what if you do nothing, i.e make no decision, just wait and see. Maybe that's not so relevant in this case and perhaps you have to make a decision, but you could delay it for a while.

I don't think it's our place to talk you out of or into anything. You have to go with what feels best and safest for you right now, and just know that whatever you decide will be the right decision.

Just just bear in mind when making a decision that there is some evidence that labour is actually good for babies - the hormones stimulated help them to breathe, as does the process of being squeezed through the birth canal. Babies born by elective cesarian often need a bit of extra "help" to get them going. That doesn't mean you shouldn't have a cesarean, but you might consider allowing labour to begin naturally and then going into theatre, if this is a possibility.

Hugs to you and good luck with whatever you decide.

Thank you Mrs M - I am following emotions/intuition all the way here.

FT - your experience sounds so positive

ggg

If I were you I'd have a section mainly because it would give the feeling of control which I think you need right now. Or you could go for a trial of labour (after my first c/s me & consultant agreed 6 hr time limit before I'd have another c/s) but never got that far - had crash c/s

ditto to all above although i have no experience of a secton myself.

sometimes postponing the decision, however, is the most beneficial.

nice quote from book i am currently reading,

'the world is ruled by letting things take their course. it cannot be ruled by interfering'

(Tao Te Ching)

ggglimpopo I can only offer you details of my cs, 10 weeks ago today but as others have said it's your gut instinct which will decide this one for you. I had an emergency cs after a 24hr labour, episiotomy, ventouse and a very stuck baby. She was born happily, no mucus with apgar of 9! I had one shot of morphine two hours after the cs which I don't think had any effect and then no pain relief at all after that as I didn't need it. I was ready for discharge from hospital after 12hrs, moving freely albeit slightly gingerly. The stitch was moved 5 days later and I have had no problems with the scar. I bled for 3 weeks, 1 week heavily, 2 weeks very lightly. My stomach doesn't look too bad, in fact you probably wouldn't know I had a cs 10 weeks ago, but the stretchmarks might tell you I was pg! I do not wish to become a poster girl for cs (my stretchmarks will not allow me on posters) in fact I can tell you that I hope never to have one again and I want lots more children. The physical recovery was easy for me, the emotional one was not and this is only because I desperately wanted a natural birth. My only post-delivery anguish arose from disappointment at deviation from what I wanted. I am extremely comforted by the fact that I tried to have the birth I truly wanted and that's what was most important to me.

Does the fact that you asked to be talked out of the caesarian mean that you are more keen on trying the natural way?

I'm sorry if my inane ramblings have not helped at all, just wanted to let you know that a cs can be physically undaunting. I followed the hospital advice of being up and about within 12 hours and moving around as much as possible to aid recovery and it worked.

I wish you luck for a positive birth experience. I can't think of anybody who deserves it more.

GGG

My mental hurt from the sections were due to the fact that they were both unnecessary and with the second one that the medical staff were very unsupportive of my wish to have a vbac. Whole different ball game really.

I think that you do have to be positive about what you want to do, you can't change your mind halfway through or anything.

I got pnd after number 2 and I believe that pnd is far more common after sections, although it would make sense if it were after emergency rather than elective sections.

I had an elective section 14 weeks ago, after having 3rd degree tears with my first dd 2 years ago.
For me, the whole experience was positive, I was completly relaxed during the operation, dd2 had no problems at all and fed well from the start (although getting into a comfortable position to feed was quite tricky for the first few days), I never needed any morphine afterwards, I had my section on a friday afternoon, was up and about on the saturday morning, and home by lunchtime sunday.
My scar is neat and healed very well, although it is numb, as is the area just above it, and I do have a nasty overhang, but this is prob more to do with the 4 stone I put on whilst pregnant and even that is getting better now that I am actually bothering to do my exercises, for me, the section was so so much better than my natural birth, and I would have another one if I have another baby.

oooh i didn't know you were pregnant. congratulations. i guess it is going to be hard having another baby so close to losing maude though. i'm not sure how to put this without saying it all wrong but don't you think it's like you've been sent something special to try and bring some goodness after such a terrible year? it didn't happen as close as that but i always felt my son was sent to me after losing my brother.

GGG...I have gone through a natural with a 3rd degree tear and a elective section.

Give me natural anytime, the section has actually put me off having anymore, and i didn't have any complications and i do have a high pain thrshhold, i just found it horrificly painful recovering.

Also there are more risks involved with a section for you and the baby, you have donw natural 5 times, you are a pro!

ggg, I can totally see why you might want a section - can you try and imagine yourself having had one and how you would feel, and also how you would feel having given birth naturally? Because maybe planning it would be easier for you, as long as you didn't have any regrets afterwards?

Thank you. I think some of you are right - it is the control issue that is so appealing.

I am probably completely wrong on this. But I too think it would be worth thinking about some of the feelings and emotions that labouring could bring up for you, given that you last laboured with Maude. It may well be that you just want to circumvent the whole process, to have your baby and none of the labour. It might be that you do want it.

Either way, regrettez rien, eh?

ne regrettez rien

I havent had a C section-but having my appendix out was bad enough

Have a caesar for all the reasons you put in your OP and also what MI said.

And if anyone gives you a contemptuos Gallic shrug then I 'll come over and sort them out for you.