Talk me out of having a caesarian

[ggglimpopo]

I know that it is early days but I am seriously considering a section.

I have done childbirth five times and have nothing to prove - too posh to push does not apply!

I am worried about something going wrong during childbirth, I have had scary labours where things were touch and go.

I am old.

I just want the safe delivery of a healthy baby.

Please give me some reasons why I should or shouldn't.

I've done both. First was an emergency section with ds1 and then I had a vbac with ds2. Both have their pros and cons tbh. Labour with ds1 was horrific but the section came as a welcome relief at the end. I had no problems whatsoever with the scar and was back to normal very quickly. I was also intact down below which was a relief! The vbac was good and it felt very "empowering" to do it myself (with the help of an epidural). However, I had really bad tearing, lots of stitches, piles, fissures etc etc and it took me a long time to get over the physical damage down below.

I think for you a section might be a good idea after all that you have been through and I can understand that having lost Maude you are terrified of losing another baby. I do remember thinking after I'd had my section that I had no idea why everyone made out a section was a big deal. I found it very straightforward with very little after effects. And mine was an emergency - I'm sure a planned section would be really relaxed.

Thank you TF. My thoughts exactly.

bump

because it bloody hurts and you are often housebound for weeks
you cant drive for 6 weeks
you bleed for longer
you cant exercise as quickly
the first week its difficult to get up from lying down as you feel like you have been run over by a bus
its major surgery and carries risks of surgery
your baby is full of gross mucus a vaginal birth would ease out of them
you have to take morphine for a few days after the birth (maybe not so bad eh?) and painkillers for a few weeks
you never truly get over the overhang your scar provides you with
I personally think it makes losing your baby weight more difficult

Have you had cs both times Fio? Planned? What about babe number 3?

Argh, well do you really want to know ?because if I tell you what happened to me first time it will reinforce your view to have a c section!

same as TootyFrooty - apart from I had a vontouse and epistomy (sp?) with my VBAC so not so much damage, recovered well from both

mine was an emergency as well, planned one would be controlled and not like an episode of ER like mine

section is major surgery though, you would need help looking after your children after (no lifting/driving etc)

xx

I lost my baby weight fast with both ggg (sorry fio!)

oph oliveoil you complete cow

I have a small overhang

but that may be due to danish pastries rather then surgery

I will have help. I live in town so will not need to drive. For the first time ever I am frightened of childbirth.

i think you should do what feels right for you. but since you asked....

my bladder was nicked during the section and there was an alarming pause in the whole proceedings. i was catheterised for 10 days. took along time to get back on my feet (but this varies for everyone). i know this is not usual but shows that things do go wrong with sections too.

my tummy 3 1/2 years later is still numb and looks odd despite lots of exercise and pilates etc.

equally you will have more certainty about the proceedings. you will know that on such and such a day you are going to have your baby so can plan.

whatever you decide lots of luck!

Because the dates are so poignant - I am due around the anniversaries of Maude's life - I will have a planned induction anyway I think.

Has anyone had a section and got back a flat and non numb stomach?

you could have a tummy tuck at teh same time - you big victoria beckham!

And a boob job?

oh ggg

I think you should go with whatever will get you through tbh

my stomach is fine, honest (don't tell Fio)

bit crepey but that was because I had huge bump both times

no stretch marks, scar is straight, no bumps, not numb

absolutely fine

xx

Darling, if you are feeling this way, have a section. I would suggest to someone else who had had five babies that it's overwhelmingly likely to go smoothly, but I think this one is too loaded for you. Thinking of you.xxxxxx

no my scar is fine too. It could be just my lazy attitude to exercising that has cause loose stomach arrangement

yes

ggg, I had one of each, section first (breech) and then VBAC. I thought the main difference was the recovery. It took weeks to recover from the section enough to walk to the shops and back without aching, whereas I was back in the swimming pool with Ds2 as soon as the bleeding stopped, no problems. All the way through my second pregnancy I kept swapping from going for elective section to VBAC, but I'm so glad I decided to try the VBAC.

No numb tummy from section though, although I do have "over hang", but I think that's because my muscles are still separated (trying REALLY hard to get them to join back up....), rather than because of the section.

Can you talk your feelings through with your midwife - is she a good one??

Yes HH - I have a lovely m/w and great Obs and I think they will go along with whatever I want.

OO and Fio - I am working on my overhang. Have had four (four!) pieces of toast and ginger marmalade this morning.

MI - xxx

mmm toast and ginger marmalade

ggg

I think that you are in a place where the thought of anything happening , that is beyond your control , that could possibly lead to your baby being born unhealthy, or worse..is just too terrifying to contemplate

the fact you have given birth without problems 5 times, means, in all likelihood, all will be well this time...

but i imagine there is an element of feeling like you are pushing your luck, if you take it for granted that you will have a straightforward birth.

i imagine the whole pregnancy and birth, whatever birth you have , will be filled with thoughts of maude

i don;t blame you at all, for wanting to have some feeling of control over the birth

but maybe see how things progress. is there s specialist midwife you could talk to..someone who has experience of women being pregnant after the sudden loss of a child?

i had an emergency after a horrible labour with ds 5 years ago and i've just had my dd by planned cs 6 weeks ago.

i had wanted a vbac but got more and more scared as the date approached and after much consideration opted for another section. the op itself was textbook, however my recovery has been much slower this time than last time. i had much more pain than the first time and spent much of the first week in tears. my dh had to help me to get my knickers on as i couldn't bend down at all. i could only stand for 10 mins at a time which is difficult with a crying baby who wont settle unless you're pacing the floor. changing her was an endurance event for the first few days. I've also had a lot of pain with an infected wound and have bled much longer this time. i have been driving since 4 weeks after the op though and know someone who was driving after 2 weeks. the doc told me there is no medical reason for waiting six weeks, but you need to check with your insurance company.

although the planned cs was right for me and how i was feeling at the time (i'd had AND), I wish i'd had the courage of my initial convictions and gone for the vbac.

i can understand your fears where dates are concerned to a small extent (my baby was due around the due date of a miscarried baby) and appreciate that this whole pregnancy is going to be very difficult for you and that this is a very hard decision. i hope the above helps you a little bit.

whatever you decide, wishing you good luck with your pregnancy