Struggling after placental abruption / crash c-section

[Shazafied]

Hi all,

I wondered if anyone has been through anything similar and has any positive stories to tell me please , or words of encouragement.

My DD2 is 11 days old , her sister has just turned 17 months. I had 26 hours of labour at home with DD2 and went to hospital when my contractions were the length/spacing that they tell you (can’t even remember what that is now). They were quite severe when I arrived and I was 8cm dilated. I got gas and air pretty quickly and went in a birthing pool. Two hours later the pain reached another level and I started to pass out / hemorrhage in the pool. Team of people rush in , stretchered upstairs straight into a theatre, category 1 section under GA. I can remember screaming like an animal as I was rushed along corridors soaking wet... I woke up around 3 hours later. Apparently my baby was delivered within minutes (and had an Apgar Score of 8 at 1 min and 9 at 5 mins plus good scores for cord gases) but I was being operated on for a long time afterwards/given lots of drugs to stop the bleeding. I was very confused for many hours after waking up as well as being in shock/shaking a lot and was given oxygen and very hot air filled blankets. I didn’t hold or properly look at my daughter for about 18 hours after her birth.

I was in hospital for 4 days before asking to go home - I barely slept in the postnatal ward and was so uncomfortable. I’ve been home for just over a week and the pain has gotten a lot better each day and I can now walk about and stand up fairly normally.

I feel have hardly seen my 17mo since before I went into labour - i have been seeing her for short bursts each day but always need to feed the baby, 17mo cries when she sees me , wants me to lift her and I can’t , and 17mo is very physical and boisterous so on her non-childminder days her dad has been taking her out as being stuck indoors makes everything worse. I feel like the worst mother on earth - before I went into labour I was with her virtually all the time.

I’m really struggling with BF - DD2 actually latches well and apart from the odd nip my nipples are ok. I constantly feel engorged however, and she is cluster feeding all late afternoon/evening then feeding every hour at night, and a shorter cluster of feeds each morning. It’s onky from 1000-1500 ish that she sleeps for 2 longer stretches , and in this time I try to shower , eat, spend some time with DD1 (if she’s home) and get a short nap if I can.

I’m suffering from a lot of anxiety re the birth , flashbacks but also anxiety around how the abruption/being compromised might affect DD2 in the long run. The community midwife keeps telling me not to worry as she was so well at birth and is quite alert, and that I was operated on very quickly ... but I can’t shake this sense of dread that she may have endured some kind of brain damage and all I can find online are horror stories.

I cry and snap at my husband virtually all the time , I know he’s tired too and is doing a great job of looking after DD1. Last night during cluster feeding I just sobbed , I felt so weak and exhausted. I just wanted to put poor DD2 down and walk out. None of this is her fault.

I spoke to my community midwife this morning and she is arranging a meeting for me with birth reflections service but trying to get a consultant present too, to go through all my notes with me. A lot of it is a total blur. There were so many doctors and procedures and it was all such a dramatic rush. My husband wasn’t allowed in theatre and I mostly remember howling and screaming “my baby is going to die”- I really believe I was completely hysterical.

Has anyone else had an abruption during labour ? Or a similar story with a happy ending ? How about recovery from a crash / emergency section whilst doing relentless BF?

Or just managing DD1s needs with DD2s. Every day, several times a day, I resolve to quit BF... but then she gets hungry again and I haven’t had enough time to think so I just breastfeed her again. Will it get any easier ? My husband goes back to work in 10 days and I’ve no family close by - how can I possibly care for them both ?

Sorry for the long post ... any words of wisdom or positivity most welcome, thanks x

and hugs for you. Sounds like you’re really having an awful time. A few things to consider.

1. with APGAR scores like that, it’s incredibly unlikely your daughter has had any harm from the abruption

2. feeding - do what’s best for you. Fed is best and your family will be best having a happy mother. Did you ever express with your first DD?

3. birth trauma: glad you have the reflections meeting set up. Have you spoken to your DH about how you’ve been feeling? You’re being a fantastic mother to both your DDs, even if you don’t feel it. Even if you had the most straight forward delivery ever, you’d still be in the same scenario of having a cluster feeding newborn and being exhausted.

Please share with close family how you feel and let your GP and health visitor know.

Thank you TakeAChanseyOnMe xx

I typed a long reply but lost it!! Argh.
I’m so sorry you are going through this. It’s been a very traumatic time and you probably all need time to adjust to what’s happened- little people included ❤️
I had a placental abruption during my second labour also- and have struggled with similar questions over DS since. He was unfortunately delivered with a very low APGAR score and required resuscitation and a NICU stay, and has had slight developmental delay and chest issues ongoing. Unfortunately I had to continue labouring after the abruption with him in distress for a good while (I have blocked the actual time from memory and am loathe to revisit it!) so the traumatic delivery and his distress and resulting complications are much more likely to be at the root of his ongoing issues than the abruption itself according to my consultant. Only recently (three years later!) did I find out at a consultant appt that they checked the blood flow in the umbilical cord after birth and all was normal, so the consultant believes any issues DS has experienced in these three years are unlikely to be related to the abruption specifically. Perhaps this is something you could ask about for reassurance yourself?
My only advice is to take yourself seriously and talk talk talk about what’s happened to you, and pursuing it via healthcare channels both for answers and support is very much worth it. I’m pregnant with Dc3 and considering a psychology referral over my ongoing trauma regarding what happened to me and my son last time.. I’d imagine this kind of support should be available where you are too. Re: feeding and DH going back to work.. take each day at a time and trust yourself to make decisions. 10 days can seem so short when you think of the support going, but it’s a lot of time to a newborn and they change so quickly. For me, breastfeeding was therapeutic in healing after what happened to me and DS, but I wouldn’t hesitate to recommend that you go with your instincts in how you feel about feeding right now. Anything to lift a load from you - emotionally or practically- is a right choice. Birth trauma is a cruel dictator of family mechanics.
Sending love and please feel free to pm me if you want to talk more.

Sorry, I missed that you had clarified the cord gases result in your post and only saw the APGAR numbers. My consultant was very reassuring that this indicated the abruption would not be to blame for ongoing concerns... I hope that helps to reassure your mind somewhat. It’s hard.