AIBU to think that the term 'natural birth' might cause upset to others?

[Mitzicoco]

I had two water births. One fairly straightforward and the other not so (thank god I was in a hospital). When chatting to other mothers through NCT or baby groups I noticed that a lot of people referred to their births as natural. Nothing wrong with that, but I just wondered if I might feel upset by these comments if I had had a c-section, or some other delivery. Surely every birth is natural? What do you think?

I don’t like it. It seems to suggest that the alternative is unnatural. Not sure what the alternative would be.
I had one water birth and one mega speedy one!

YANBU, many people might feel offended by this term, because they suspect the speaker believes 'natural'=best, or maybe they believe it themselves
It's not a very helpful term anyway, what even is natural? that would be not in a hospital, no pain relief and you chew through the cord and then eat the placenta, right?
Vaginal delivery maybe a more neutral and more accurate term but people are scared of the V word.

I've had 2 c-sections - 1st emergency (didn't end well) and the 2nd was elective.
People using the term 'natural birth' doesn't upset me as such, just shows their ignorance really - the only thing that is important at all is that the mother & baby are as safe as possible.

See I don’t agree but that could just be me. I see the word natural being used to mean ‘without intervention’.

However people are entitled to feel how they want to feel and describe their births however they want to as well.

I get confused by this too.
I guess vaginal birth for non C-sections is the correct term?
But god forbid some people use the word vaginal.

I get confused because I had a forceps (assisted) delivery so I thought maybe that is not natural? I don't think natural birth means anything to me, it is confusing

I had a women at my NCT go on about natural births, how it's the most natural thing in the world to give birth and to trust your body. For her it did and whilst I'm pleased for her, reading those messages on the group chat whilst I was being induced and being told because of some medical reason I won't bore you with, that I would never have gone into labour naturally it was pretty upsetting and I felt I couldn't share what had happened to me as my body had let me down. Obviously hormones were playing a part at the time and whilst I don't get quite as upset about it now I don't think it's great. A healthy mother and baby is all that matters - luckily that was our end result too!

I had a c-section and intend to have another one, and the term doesn't upset me on the least. It wasn't a natural birth. It was easy (another thing some people get upset about), calm, controlled - but it wasn't natural. I don't see "natural" as better, though I understand it's often invoked as an ideal, and can see how that leads to upsetting some people. I personally would be careful about how I used the term and who with.

I think a lot of people use it interchangeably with "vaginal" - e.g. people who have had inductions. To me, "natural" means "minimal intervention" - so going into labour spontaneously, non-instrumental delivery. Wouldn't occur to me to consider pain relief relevant. Natural births are a sub-category of vaginal births, in my head.

I suppose the reason I ask the question is because I was unable to breastfeed, I felt like I was letting my baby down. It then occurred to me(my mind can works slowly!) that if I felt bad not being able to breastfeed, then perhaps some women may be upset by the term 'natural delivery.' Just like the thought of not being able to naturally feed my child upset me. I should make it clear that I don't buy into any of this 'natural' shite and as long as mother and baby are well/ survive, then it really doesn't matter. But it mattered to me at the time.

I agree, I have had three babies by induced vaginal delivery and two by spontaneous vaginal delivery, some women have instrumental deliveries, some c sections, all a proud achievement.

I don't buy into the hierarchy, and knowing some people do would make me cautious about using those terms. But, semantically, it isn't meaningless. It's descriptive. It's a crying shame that somehow some people are left feeling judged or lacking because of their "unnatural" births. We're bloody lucky these options are available to us. High infant and maternal mortality are "natural". I'll take my medicalised delivery!

The term itself doesn't bother me as technically it is how nature intended. I think context is everything and it can be offensive.

I had failed ventouse followed by forceps for no1. It took a long time to accept that I didn't have a 'natural' delivery and i felt (and still feel) my body has failed at the one thing it was meant to do 'naturally'. This time will be ELCS. I have had to have a lot of support from specialist midwives to get me to a point of accepting my first birth and planning my second.

To be honest though, the only person giving me a hard time about not giving birth naturally was me.

DH still thinks I'm a hero.

I can see how it could upset people but it is what it is, you can't really argue with it. Every birth is valid and every feeling is valid so I suppose in an ideal world everyone should be able to refer to their own birth experiences without judgement.

To me, 'natural birth' is a description meaning 'spontaneous labour, non-instrumental vaginal delivery'. It's a term I'd use.

It doesn't mean I look down on anyone. I have ultimate respect for a friend who had a long labour, failed high forceps and an emergency section. And then had another baby after that - I'm not sure I'd have been brave enough.

Emergency section here, so not natural as in not the way nature intended childbirth to be. Doesn't bother me in the slightest and I think it's hyper sensitive to be bothered by it

My DIL and one of DDs had c sections. My DD was utterly unconcerned what anyone else thought as she and the baby were great.
DIL really had a bee in her bonnet about it and was in tears afterwards saying she wanted to say sorry to her baby. The poor girl had read so much nonsense she honestly felt she had failed. Natural birth was the holy grail.
I was so upset for her. Absolutely reassured her and told her how brave she'd been and what a marvellous mother I knew she was going to be. (All true). I hope she took it on board because I was genuinely aghast that she didn't think the ordeal she'd just endured was a worthy birth.

Of course it’s a natural delivery. Incidentally, women who die in labour are also doing something very natural.

The problem is that the term ‘natural’ has come to be synonymous with ‘good’ or ‘better’ or ‘superior’, when actually ‘natural’ can be dangerous, terrifying and awful. That applies to all usages of the word, not just in terms of childbirth.

I agree with @FartnissEverbeans. The problem is that 'natural' has come to be seen as some sort of ultimate 'goal' with childbirth whereas really the only goal you should go into childbirth with is to end up with a healthy baby and healthy mum. Childbirth is impossible to control - my induction very rapidly went into difficult territory because of various complications (that I would have had even if I had gone into spontaneous labour). However all this talk of natural this and natural that can make women feel like failures.
Naturally, lots of women would die in childbirth in this country without intervention. In the developing world, lots of women do.

Totally agree with FartnissEverbeans.
I felt like an utter failure not being able to breastfeed my children.

The problem is societal attitudes linked to these terms I think.

When DS1 was born, I couldn't bf. I tried and tried and tried to the point we were both sobbing. I eventually begged for formula just so my baby could eat, and they wrote "mother rejected" on my notes. It hurt like fuck at the time, and still stings even now.