Caesarian recovery

[curlyrebel]

So I'm booked to have a Caesarian soon (medical reasons). I have one 2 yo. My DH has the 2 weeks paternity leave arranged but cannot get holiday for all 6 weeks where I'm not to do any heavy lifting and driving.

We will probably ask my MIL for help with nursery drop offs and pick ups and my DM should also be able to help. But I worry about things like putting my DD into a cot and taking her out. Also I've heard getting into and out of a bath for a shower could be painful.

If you've had a Caesarian, with or without a toddler, what adaptations did you have to make in those first 6 weeks? What were the things you needed help with the most? Also were you able to use a sling with your new baby? Thanks!

I had a section with my second baby (will be having another in August too) and at the time my first DD was 15 months but tall and chunky like a 2 year old.

I did no lifting at all In the first two weeks to do as much healing as possible whilst DH was on leave. My mam was also around a fair bit (but quite stressful and not that much help) once DH went back to work I explained to DD1 that mammy wasn't going to be very good at picking her up for a while and I did the absolute minimum. I had a little step for her which she used to get on and off the sofa and chair at the dining table etc. I didn't do any of her bath times alone until much later and I felt like because I had taken it really easy for the first 3/4 weeks I healed really fast with no complications and felt very much myself after a month.

I stuck to showers only for 3/4 weeks too as I was worried about getting in and out of the bath too but once I felt that the scar was comfortable I just enjoyed a bath as normal.

Oh and I used a sling from about day 4/5 with newborn. I used a stretchy wrap and kept her high away from my scar. A ring sling would work perfectly too.

It also prevents you from trying to lift anything you shouldn't be as having baby in the sling is a good deterrent from too much lifting and bending.

My section recovery was fine. Climbing into bath for shower was fine. Stairs were trying for a few days so camped out in the bedroom.
I had no support other than dh and got an infection and it was fine. If I did it again I'd get a cleaner for a couple of months though.

You'll be fine to lift the baby - all very well for us to be told not to lift for 6 weeks but it's totally unrealistic. Just make sure you are lifting properly, bending at the knee as opposed to bending over to pick up and put down. Try not to lift the toddler too much. As for driving once you are feeling well enough and your gp ok's it you should be able to drive even before 6 weeks. I never bothered but managed without for the 6 weeks.

Getting into the bath is also fine. Just take it slowly and hold on to the sides getting in and out. Don't have a bath in hospital if it's a shared bath as they probably wont be cleaned between every use. Have showers instead.

While you have to take care during recovery it really isn't that debilitating. You'll be up and about walking at the latest the next morning. Try to walk a little every couple of hours then, around the room and then a little further. You tend to stiffen up if you sit for too long. Try not to stoop either - stand as straight up as possible. Take every bit of medication they offer even if not in pain when they offer. Keep on top of it. You'll manage fine and it's great you have help. Don't fuss over housework - no hoovering (great excuse to let others do that work). I found if I was overdoing it at all, the bleeding would get a bit heavier so it was a sign to slow down.

Best of luck.

One thing I always recommend people with an abdo wound to do is make sure you stand up tall. Its easier said than done I know because it hurts and it feels like your stitches may burst, but it's so important you don't walk over stooped. It'll really help you in the long run

I had my second c-section when my oldest was 2YO.

I had DH home with me for 5 weeks after both c-sections so he did most of the driving around etc. Lifting the baby wasn't so much of an issue. I couldn't lift DS1 anyway while pregnant cos he was huge and so was I, so he was kind of used to that already.

I'd say, rest as much as physically possible while DH is off. Sleep lots, take your pain killers and rest lots while he's home with you. I didn't rest properly after my first and it took me a long time to recover. I made sure I just slept and rested as much as possible in the first couple of weeks after having my second and I felt much better quicker with him. Don't try to be a martyr. Just do the absolute minimum.

Planning vbac with a 2 yo and also worried what I'd do if c section again. You'll manage I guess!

We've been slowly transitioning DD onto step chair not high chair, more walking than peak etc and got some little ikea steps so she can climb into sofa etc. Not given up on cot tho - got a little inflatable overnight bed just in case, or otherwise planning something involving her climbing on a stool so she can get in and out?!

Thank you everyone for your advice. It's very useful to hear your own experiences.

My DD is good at getting on and off chairs and sofas and can walk up and down stairs. So it's just the cot and the bath. I'll definitely avoid giving baths. There's a lot of bending involved with that anyway. I'll look into a step for the cot. We tend to put her to sleep in our bed and carry her into the cot so if my DH is at work then I could just leave her in bed with me. Hopefully she won't be disturbed by the new baby waking though.

I do think she will want to be carried by me sometimes and that will be hard for her. @itseasybeingcheesy did your DD understand when you explained to her why she couldn't be carried?

@Prequelle @Drum2018 I will try to stand tall! Sounds very painful but good to know it isn't so debilitating.
I will definitely rest up as much as possible in the first two weeks.

How were you all with visitors? With our first we had a ridiculous number (of mainly DH's family) come by in the first few weeks and I found it quite intrusive. This time round DH reckons there won't be as many but I think I could get away with hiding in my room in the first two weeks and DH can have the baby downstairs. I wanted to restrict visitors to immediate family only in the first week but even then that's quite a few adults and children .

I had section 9 days ago and have 6 yr old DS. I now feel 90% fine. Spent 1 night in hospital, first 3 days were a bit rough but my DP got the baby out of the cot changed the nappy and generally did everything for a few days. After the stitches came out I felt more mobile and am still taking it easy but can now get DD out of cot in night and have been for a walk about in town. I understand it would be much harder with a toddler.

That's great you feel so much better after only 9 days @Creas35. Hope it will be like that for me!

I hope so too!! You hear some horror stories then you hear people shopping 2 days later so you never know what to expect!! Good luck with everything x

Recovery from a planned c section tends to be much quicker than non. I felt pretty much back to normal within 2 weeks. Within 5 days to be honest!

It's different for everyone so you can't assume that you'll have an easy recovery, but you might do. Planned sections are usually far smoother and easier to recover from because you haven't laboured, often for a long time, first and they're not done under emergency conditions. However infection and other complications are still possible and overdoing it can be a massive mistake.

I had one emergency and two planned sections. The emergency involved all sorts of problems and was difficult to recover from. One of the planned sections I recovered quickly, but the other I did too much too soon and set my recovery way back, started bleeding again very heavily indeed and experienced a lot of pain, so don't blythly assume you'll be doing iron man competitions at 10 days post section with the baby strapped to your front and toddler on your back, just because a competitive competence type in the internet was.

Be careful about what help you accept - only accept help which won't actually be a hinderence and stress you out and create emotional and physical work for you. My mum came to stay after one of my sections and I knew it was going to be awful before hand, but everyone says accept all offers, and my dad emotionally blackmailed me saying how much she wanted to help... It was awful. She took the newborn and wanted to hold him all day (I was breastfeeding and had just started carrying him in a wrap a couple of days before she arrived and hated being physically apart from him for long, plus she rocked him to sleep when he stirred meaning he didn't feed enough in the day and reverse cycled, feeding all night but I was with my non napping 2 year old all day). She didn't help except by "holding the baby" and criticised me endlessly for not getting on with a good housework blitz while she was there "to hold the baby" - ten days post section! She didn't so much as make me a cup of tea but expected to get up at 8am, spend an hour in the only bathroom (newly potty trained toddler in the house) then sit with the baby and be waited on all day. It was so awful, and when I tried to talk to her about how I wanted actual help and my baby back she cried and said that she'd come to bond with the baby. It was so awful. So don't accept "any" help, think carefully about whether it will be genuinely helpful.

I very much do not recommend having anyone stay in your house until you are recovered yourself. Visitors who visit for an hour are great, ones who are still there in the evening when you need to Clusterfeed or in the morning when you need to be able to get into the bathroom in whatever random window your toddler and newborn are both asleep/ newborn asleep and toddler happy to play on the bathroom floor are absolutely not.

Certainly accept help getting your toddler to nursery if she's already established at nursery though!

My 2 year old was in a cot but with 2 removable bars like a little entrance and exit so she got in and out herself. With my 3rd section the toddler was in a bed already. You shouldn't lift her into a cot.

When you first get home you shouldn't lift the car seat plus baby, nothing heavier than the baby. Don't change the baby on the floor - you won't be able to get back up with the baby in your arms nor pick them up from the floor. You need a changing table or solid, wide table set up as one.

Set everything up downstairs and buy new DVDs and whatever toys or crafts your toddler can play with as independently as possible in the room with you and keep them in reserve for your first week or so alone at times your toddler isn't at nursery.

Order shopping if that's an option where you live and pre cook before the birth and freeze or live on easy stuff like pasta and jacket potatoes. You may not be able to stand for long.

You can easily cope alone from 2 weeks post section but do not try to be superwomen as you risk setting your recovery back.

I've had 3 caesarians. Many of my friends have had caesarians. One of them hs had 5! None of us took 6 weeks to recover.

The first week is hard, but after that, honestly, it's amazing how the human body recovers. Unless you have some other health condition, I would say that by the end of the second week you can expect to feel able to be up and about without needing help for anything other than perhaps carrying your toddler.

When I had a Newborn and a toddler, I found the toddler was able to understand that Mummy's tummy was sore and so he needed to help by not jumping on me or wanting carries.

1Wanda Just as some people can have 5 caesareans, others of us are warned by the surgeon (who came around the following day to repeat it in case memories of things said in recovery were blurry) after the third that another pregnancy would be life threatening due to the poor state of the scaring from the first two caesarean sections.

I don't want to be a profit of doom what so ever, I just think sometimes people scramble over each other to reassure those about to have sections that they'll be back to normal in the blink of an eye, but from my own experience I know that you can't say in advance that this will be true for any specific individual, or indeed any subsequent caesarean.

Doing too much lifting, bending or walking too soon can set your recovery right back with painful and even dangerous consequences. Just take it easy and don't force anything out of some sense you have to keep up/ recover faster/ be superwomen.

Don't forget that a hysterectomy would have you signed off on bed rest, usually without a newborn and a toddler depending on you, for 6 weeks.

Those links created themselves btw - wtf @MNHQ ?

@curlyrebel yes she did although she was fairly impatient with it by the three week point but I just kept reminding her it was because my tummy was sore but I could still cuddle gently and I'd have her get up on the sofa next to me for cuddles instead of picking her up or I'd have DH sit her on the kitchen bench or dining table for me to cuddle her standing up.

Remember it's only temporary and mercifully they have short memories and within a month your oldest won't even remember a time that you couldn't pick her up.

Make a huge fuss of her being so special as a big sister and how fantastic she is and let her do tiny things like pass the cloths and bring you a cereal bar and she will love the attention.

In the months following when I was stuck to sitting down feeding the baby we did lots of jigsaws and read lots of books too so she didn't feel left out and I admit I used Cbeebies a lot but it's just a phase.

@1Wanda1 it's really good you and your friends (and me!) has straight forward recoveries but I achieved mine by doing very little and looking after myself.

A good friend of mine was 8 weeks before she was getting around again because her section triggered horrible PCOS and a scar infection and she had four other kids at home so it's not a case of just saying oh don't make a fuss you'll be fine.

I had my gall bladder removed and although I was mobile within days and off pain killers within two weeks I was very much not recovered for 6 weeks and you have to remember the massive internal healing that is going on. It's major surgery and should be treated like it.

I also had a planned c section for medical reasons. Basically I just had to get on with it once I was discharged. It was no big deal.

Ginnylamb my point wasn't that everyone can have lots of caesaeians, it was that most people recover a lot more quickly after a caesaeians than the "6 weeks" (which has never actually been the advice given to me after any of the 3 I had).

My friend who has had 5 sections was also told after the fifth to make sure she did not get pregnant again as a sixth section would be very dangerous for her.

I'm surprised she wasn't told after the 3rd. Here they are very very reluctant to do a section after that.

No way was I back to normal in a couple of weeks and no way could I have got out of the bath comfortably or lifted a toddler out of a cot. And if you were planning to have any other major abdominal surgery the doctors would have a fit if you told them.

I would put the side of the cot down and encourage the 2 year old to climb out,at that age they should be capable. Ds was scaling stair gates and was in a bed by 18 months as he could get out of the cot so easily. Obviously start practicing now so it's not stressy for both of you.

Hope it all goes well for you

I had an EMCS last year and was pleasantly surprised at how quickly I recovered, despite an infection. It probably did take the 6 weeks until I was feeling fully back to myself and feeling confident enough to lift the car seat in and out, for example, but I was definitely functioning pretty normally long before that.

Take it as easy as possible while your DH is off, but still do little walks to the end of the road with the pram etc to build up your stamina.

Best of luck

I had a section with #2 and #1 was 2.5 yrs.

I was in hospital for 9 days (for the baby not me) so it was easier not to do too much. I was mobile 5 hours after surgery (shuffling and carrying a bag of your own wee is so glamorous!) I made my self move around, the baby was in neonatal and only back with me after 48 hours so no temptation to pick her up. Then she was under photo therapy lights again which reduced the temptation. She was small at 6lb 11oz (but huge for 35 weeks) so not exactly a huge weight to be lugging around.

When I got in the car to go home, it was much less painful than with my first vaginal birth.

When I got home, my back aches for about a month, it was really naggy and got me down, but suddenly disappeared one day.

I managed with just paracetamol and ibruprofen and my wound healed really quickly which the midwives were amazed by.

DH didn’t start his paternity until 2 weeks after #2 was born, as didn’t see the point of him being off, us two in hospital and the big one at nursery. Luckily nursery isn’t far from his office (it’s actually inside mine!)

All in all, a good experience for me. Contrast with my SIL who had a section two weeks later, was allowed home the day after and has a similar aged eldest, it took her longer to recover we both agree it was because she was at home and the temptation to do more was too much.

Thanks again everyone. It sounds like most of you recovered well before 6 weeks but it was better to still take it easy even if you felt ok.

@Ginnylamb sorry to hear your DM was more hindrance than help. My DM won't stay with us and I'll make it clear from the start what help I'll need. I'm sure she will be happy to help with our toddler, and with cleaning and bringing food.

@itseasybeingcheesy it's good to know your toddler understood and took it so well. I think mine should get it too but I can imagine there will still be challenges. I might resist carrying her from now if I can help it and see how I get on.

@Marmite27 yeh I had a 3rd degree tear with DD and that was pretty sore for weeks so I guess sitting down will be a bit easier this time round! Hopefully I can get by on just paracetamol and ibuprofen too.