2cm dilated, so much pain in back. How long will this last?! :(

[whatkindofspring]

(Sorry for any spellings, I'm having a bit of a cry, I'm so fed up)

38+2 weeks pregnant, baby number 2, and I have a planned homebirth with everything ready. DD1 is 2 years old. Partner working all day until around 11 at night so feeling very alone and finding this bit very hard with my toddler too.

I started getting rather irregular pains at 3pm yesterday. More than braxton hicks, they were taking my breath away and the midwife came out (her suggestion) to check me.
These pains were in my back. I had a back to back birth with DD1, this baby however is the 'right' way around so I thought the pains would be a bit easier... obviously not!

Anyway I was checked and was only 2cm. I'm trying to keep positive but the pains have reduced massively and I feel tired and a bit emotional. My mums taken My daughter for a couple of hours so I can rest.
The pain in my back now feels like I've been beaten up and is more in my groin area.

I know 38 weeks is fairly early but this has been an awful pregnancy. Hyperemesis, sciatica and I was made redundant and I just want my baby here so we can all start to enjoy life again!

Are there any safe ways to help dilate quicker that you found have worked?
Im using my ball and have been trying to move as much as possible. I've been taking 1 cup of cranberry leaf tea a day since 35 weeks to help strengthen my cervix. I really don't know what else to do.
I'm so scared of the pain but I just want it over with.

Can’t your partner get home early? With my second i didn’t want to get him home early and paced the garden for hours. As soon as he walked through the door things really ramped up and dd was born 2 hours later. I’m sure I was psychologically holding myself back until he was there

He's got a big party on tonight (he's a chef) so I don't really want to bother him especially now the pains aren't as bad (although I just had a pretty sharp one in my lower tummy) I don't want to be a burden when there's nothing happening regularly.

I really hope I get some regular pains soon.

In a way I just know in my heart of hearts she's not coming out yet. DD1 was a week late so I think I've psyched myself up that this one will be too.

Are you sure your baby isn’t back to back? Mine was in the ‘right’ position when I was induced (they scanned before putting the pessary in). 3 hours later I was having contractions, all in my back. 4 hours after that I’d had codeine and gas and air and was in agony, thinking I was being a complete wimp as the midwife thought I was only 2-3 cm and I was struggling even with g&a. When she examined me I’d quickly got to 4cm and sent me to delivery where it turns out baby had turned to back to back hence my intense pain. Even once I’d had an epidural i could still feel painful contractions and needed g&a. Baby eventually turned again and I knew it because the pain just went.

From what I was told, the only pain relief most people find effective for back pain is an epidural...might be worth considering if home birth is definitely the right choice. Can you get the midwife to examine again to confirm if baby has turned??

I didn't have pain relief with my last back to back birth and ideally wouldn't like pain relief this time either. So unless something is seriously wrong or I'm told I need to go into hospital I'm going to try stay at home.

I'm pretty sure she's not back to back anyway, they checked twice yesterday and her bum is near my belly button area and she sticks it out a lot so I can feel her little bum and back.

I just feel very down about it all now. I'd really like to get it over and done with but I'm obviously very scared at the same time. not sure if I should up the amount of raspberry leaf tea.

4 hours until my partner is home and then he has 2 days off so hopefully something happens while he's here!

Fair enough, if you managed last time with no pain relief hopefully it will be the same this time. Hats off to you, I was in so much pain with mine I can’t imagine managing with nothing. Hope things get going quickly for you while partners home x