Want another baby but scared

[Petrajayne26]

I want to try for another baby this year however I am scared of when it comes to the day of the birth. I am 5 foot 4. Weigh in between 8 and half to 9 stone. Age 29 will be 30 by the time I am pregnant. my first pregnancy went smoothly however I had a traumatic birth with my first born. He is now 1 year and 4 months old. I wanted to deliver naturally but I couldn't push, I had too much gas and air to relieve the pain kept passing out. My blood pressure dropped and my son's heart rate dropped. I had an emergency c section lost 1 and a half pint of blood. Both my son and I made it. However I am now anxious to give birth to a second child. I will be having a planned c section as I do not want to go through natural birth again. I am scared of complications and risks during and after the c section. I am scared I will die during or after the surgery and I am scared of leaving my son without a mother and my husband to raise 2 kids on his own. I have written letters for both my son and husband if something was to happen to me. But I still fear the thought of dying and it is making me feel very anxious.

@Petrajayne26 - the risk of death with this kind of thing is really really low, of course you need to know it's a possibility but I don't know of anyone who this has happened to.

I've just had my second baby and I really nearly didn't have a second because of my first labour. It's was terrible but didn't actually end with a section.

I did however, have a planned section with my second and it was amazing! I honestly cannot tell you how much better of an experience it was. It was calm, everyone talked me through everything and my recovery has been fantastic. I even lost more blood this time (nearly 2 lts) but couldn't tell because they dealt with it so well.

I totally understand where you're coming from, it is scary and I was really scared but it was the best thing.

I think maybe you would benefit from talking to someone about this, or look into the stats as I know when I did my research, the risks weren't that much higher than a natural birth.

Hope you're OK xx

Thank you I am doing fine your reply has made me feel more calm. My husband also keeps reassuring me that everything will be fine. Really appreciate your reply.

No problem, I can totally understand where you're coming from. Good luck, I hope you do what's best for you x

I totally get this, pushing is so hard!! I also had a planned section and it was the most wonderful experience. I had a bleed (only saying this as I don't want to sugarcoat) but didnt know until after and would never have known. Safest way to have a baby.

I'm a similar build to you and DD was 9lb 10 oz - I managed to have a vaginal birth but hemorrhaged and was in hospital for a week recovering. It wasn't a good experience at all!

But, second time around was much easier as the hospital was prepared and induced me a week early to prevent DS from getting too big. It was SO much better.

I honestly think you'll be OK, OP. You've got a birth plan and your DC2 will be delivered quickly and safely.

I am expecting my fifth baby next month, it would be my fifths csection, a bit worry this time😑, tho all my past c were fine,no complications at all, so I think nothing to worry about, discuss it with ur doctor more.good luck.

Have you spoken to anyone about your traumatic experience? Writing letters to your loved ones in case you die seems quite extreme to me although your experience sounds awful I do wonder if you need some support in getting past it?

@Petrajayne26 you will be perfectly fine! Planned sections go a lot smoother than emergency's as no one is rushing to get baby out!! I had a 'traumatic vaginal birth' lost A LOT of blood had doctors rushing in trying to save me, but I am not scared to do it again, the doctors know what happened last time and will make sure there are things in place to stop that happening again! ☺️

@PBobs thank you for your Concern I am going to speak to my doctor about my experience and concerns and also when I am pregnant and going for check ups will be mentioning it to midwives as well.

Thanks everyone sharing your experiences and support is really boosting my confidence to have another baby. Hoping to get pregnant anytime from August-December of this year.

I'd really recommend going to birth reflections if your hospital offers this.

I went to mine last week at 38 weeks pregnant as my first traumatised me a fair amount and my OH probably more so. My DD had to be resuscitated, she was back to back, forceps, BP through the roof etc and I didn't really remember how things happened or more importantly why. My big fear was having the same birth again this time if it was due to my body shape or how I grow babies but the midwife i saw was so reassuring and it was great to hear the reasons behind why it happened like it did.

As it was i went into labour unexpectedly that same day and my DS was born at home within an hour, delivered by my OH on our bed. It was a totally different experience although still scary for different reasons but I had no pain relief or intervention. Both me and DS are fine and we didn't even need to go to hospital once the paramedics and home birth team eventually got to me and checked us over.