Home Birth Help

[HB2019]

Hello!
I’m 27 weeks so starting to think about the birth. So long as everything continues to progress smoothly I’d love a home birth, my husband has started coming round to the idea too. His only concern is that it’s a lot of pressure for him (I think that’s my line lol), and he feels like he might need help.

If my research is right I’ll have 2 midwives from the nhs for the duration and a couple of hours after but DH thinks he’ll need more help. We both have big families but my closest lovely sister has just left to travel the world and my mum is moving to another country in April, so from my side I’d need to look for another sister but they’re all much younger than me (10+yrs) or look to DH sisters of which there’s one close one but do I want her to see me birthing in a pool in my dining room?
Possibly not. Hmm.

So my question is; along with any wonderful home birth stories, did you have any other people there to help or is a husband enough?
Thanks for any help

I didn't have a home birth but I know a few people who did and they all just had their DH and the midwives. None of them were first births, though, and I think that makes a big difference because everyone involved knows what to expect more. Have you seen the statistics for the percentage of first births where a home birth has to be transferred to hospital? It's nearly half, which I personally think is very off-putting - obviously you may not!

You could look into hiring a Doula, their role is to provide support during and after birth. Your midwife may have a student midwife working with her too. What sort of help does your husband want?

I don't have a homebirth story sorry! I was all prepared for a home birth but then my waters went and it was thick mec so ended up in hospital. Still had a positive birth but not what I had hoped for! There's some lovely youtube videos of home and water births around, they're worth watching. Also if you have a local positive birth movement group they will be able to give you some pointers and tips

I had a home birth with my second. I spent most of my labour upstairs by myself (my choice) whilst my husband looked after our 3 year old downstairs.
Midwives turn up with mins to spare (quick labour) he didn't need to do much. They tidied up afterwards and left fairly quickly.
Lovely experience and much much better than my first experience in Hospital.

Just my husband at my home birth. Our first child was looked after by a friend though so he didn't have that to worry about.

I don't recall the midwives staying long after the placenta was out and other than emptying the birthing pool I don't remember there being an awful lot that needed to be done. We all snuggled on the sofa and ate takeaway!

Not had my home birth yet (first baby) but it's just going to be me, DP and the midwives. Have you had any birthing classes? We've just had a one-to-one birthing class that went through stages of labour, exactly what to expect and what we should provide (e.g. pool, TENS machine, plastic sheets, biscuits) and it was really helpful for both of us in terms of what to do and how long and when to call and what might happen; when we might have to transfer, etc. We both feel much calmer now, despite the graphic photographs!

What are the specific things your DH is worried about needing help with? It might help to do a class (there should be NHS classes available) and lots of research to answer some of his worries. My DP's roles include: filling the pool. Covering things with plastic. Keeping me hydrated. Reminding me to wee. Counting my breathing. Providing hot water bottle, back rubs. Fucking off when told :)

I’m planning a home birth for my second (26weeks atm) and planning on it just being DH and the midwives (this will be the usual 2 plus a student who is shadowing my pregnancy).

In all honesty one of the main reasons I chose homebirth for this time is because I was pretty much left to my own devices for most of my labour last time (in hospital) and DH understandably found this pretty stressful! Would you/your OH want other family members there if you were in the hospital rather than at home? I think you’ll likely get better 1:1 care at home than in the hospital, but this is purely based on my own experience and other people will likely think differently. And as PP have mentioned, your chances of transfer are much higher first time around, and you need to think who would come to the hospital with you, and what everyone else would do (stay home/make their own way).

You only get the second midwife when the first thinks the baby is coming. Not that you need two before that.

Do you feel you want/need dp to support you? Does he have a list of things he'll need to do? I found explaining that he didn't actually have to do anything delivery wise helped. Things like boil kettle, get clean towels, fill pool, time contractions, call midwife.

It sounds like you don't need anyone else there to help, and I honestly can't think what dp would need help with, he literally just has to follow simple instructions - no thinking involved.

Although if you do get extra help for him, make it really clear to the midwives that they don't need to be too involved (unless that's what you want), they might assume you do a.m.ask them to come watch or something.

I had a home birth with my first (and hopefully will with my second later this year). It was just me, DH and the 2 midwives but we didn't need anyone else there. If you're having a birthing pool it'll take DH a while to fill it but otherwise he just needs to be there to support you. I wouldn't worry about having anyone else there and I think any extra bodies would have been pointless when I was having my first. When I have my second I'll send DD to my PILs and it'll just be us again.

It seems he's most worried about the cleaning up.
I'm glad to hear it's perfectly normal to just be us two and the midwives.
I'm 12 mins away from the local hospital so I'm happy I'm close enough if I need a transfer, I'll obviously only settle for a home birth if my pregnancy advances safely enough.

I had two homebirths but only one midwife on dd midwife arrived three minutes before baby was born and on ds it all happened so quick so second midwife didn’t make it here in time. I did also have my auntie and dh with me. With regards the mess and clear up it’s nothing at all - we had shower curtains with an old quilt on top on the floor and after feeding baby skin to skin etc I had my shower and by time I got out it was as if nothing ever happened ! Good luck I had two fantastic home births and was a much nicer experience than my hospital birth on my 1st - fingers crossed everything goes to plan for you x

Midwives honestly clear everything up. They bring loads of plastic and incontinence pads with them.

I guess it might be different if you're in the pool, but it will all wash away together I'd have thought.