DC1 vaginal birth, DC2 ELCS, DC3... pondering?

[antikaryote]

So, I'm having one of those thoughtful evenings and my DH is already snoring so I need to pick my own brain, thoughts welcome.

DC1 was born 5 weeks premature in a rapid labour and delivery, with not a drop of pain relief, episiotomy AND tearing, partner and mother still parking the car, topped off with a postpartum haemorrhage. PND and PTSD almost immediately followed. Not cool.

4 years later and as I have my first consultant app at 16w with DC2, doctor is horrified that her colleague who delivered DC1 'forgot' to debrief and inform me that the haemorrhage was due to a complete placental abruption.

ALSO, said placenta had been sent off to histology and came back as having started to detach from the uterine wall at 28-30 weeks, corresponding to the time I first went to hospital in pain, and was laughed out of there by the senior midwife telling me to get a grip and pregnancy was not meant to be comfortable.

Cue... more depression, anxiety and panic attacks that just sent me spiralling, so I made the decision to try and take back as much control as possible and demanded a c-section, effectively taking out the possibility of having to go through any of the previous horror as with DC1. 3 consultants I had to go through, but eventually got my way. ELCS was the best thing I've ever EVER done. Super cathartic. Healing was easier than the VB.

And here I am again, 4 years later. DC3 cooking away (20 weeks). And for reasons I cannot possibly understand, I am actually giving some thought to VBAC. Consultant at 16w said it was an option, but that she was happy to book ELCS number two if my mental health got a little hairy again.

So one completely unmedicated vaginal birth, one demanded, non-med reason c--section, and now a VBAC? I feel like I'm taking the michael?

Anyway, mad rambling over. Going back to writing my dissertation.
Life hack: do not grow humans in your final year at university.

That's sounds so rough op.

Something to consider (and may be totally irrelevant in your case) but I haemorrhaged with my first and chose elcs with my second (7 weeks ago) for that and several other (horrible birth) reasons.

I haemorrhaged again with my second and actually lost more blood but because it was controlled it wasn't that much of a problem.

Just wanted to share as I didn't expect it second time around,

Good luck xx

Yakadee, I feel you! I did lose more blood than they expected during ELCS, blood pressure tanked, but as you said, it was in a very controlled environment and sorted quickly. And I was high AF that time, makes all the difference! How has your recovery been post-op compared to first delivery?

@antikaryote - I can't even tell you! It's been so much better this time. I know it's surgery etc but I've felt so great.
The first few days at home were a little tough but totally manageable with meds. Within a week or two I was almost feeling back to normal.

DD is 7 weeks today and feel like myself, totally. I just haven't returned to netball yet as it's quite full on / jumpy but everything else is great. Been driving for weeks,

I am so glad I made this choice. I'm not planning any more children but if I was, personally I wouldn't hesitate going down this same route xx

Have you considered hiring a doula for DC3?
My doula is amazing with dealing with birth PTSD

Cmariam, a doula is way beyond my financial capabilities I'm afraid. Crikey, I'm constantly worried if I'll have enough money for the diesel to get to the hospital at this rate.

@yakadee, I'm delighted it's all gone well for you! I think just the positive mental space alone can do some serious wonders in physical recovery. I might be team sunroof baby but I ain't no netball player haha, terrible at team sport (:

@antikaryote - I actually played last week (well, half a game) and I'm ready to get back! I'm playing tonight too! I'm starting slimming world on weds too so that should hopefully give me a boost and I can get this weight shifted! Not sure I can still use the 'I just had a baby' excuse when she's 9 weeks old! Lol x

Have you been referred to pregnancy mental health team? In our area they are a lovely team including two clinical psychologists who only work with pregnant and post women who have issue around child birth/young children.

Can you choose a different hospital/place of birth?

I don’t know the risks regarding ypur placenta issues but for the average women a vbac is less risk than a c section and if you have had a previous vaginal birth than the risk of needing an EMCS is the same as any woman who has had a vaginal birth ie the lowest risk catergory.

Whatever you decide is fine though.

Yakadee you have just had a baby. Google the forth trimester and be kind to yourself.

@Jackshouse - thanks, I know I sound harsh on myself but I'm massively overweight. I'm not being too strict or anything, just want to get fitter again x