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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

A letter of thanks

25 replies

dejags · 07/09/2004 10:18

I know this is soppy and probably silly but I wanted to copy you on a letter of thanks I am preparing for the midwife who delivered my son on Saturday. I wanted to do it while the experience was fresh in my mind and thought I would share the draft with you all. We all too often hear how the NHS Nursing staff are stretched and don't do a good job - this is my little effort to say thank you, midwives do an incredible job...

Dear XX

I wanted to write you a letter to say thank you for the huge contribution you made towards the really incredible birth experience we had on Saturday 4th September.

When I fell pregnant the second time round I was secretly terrified of labour. My first child was delivered vaginally but with it was a very medicalised experience. Little attention was paid to either me or my husband as people - the focus was on delivering a baby in the shortest space of time possible. In the end he was delivered without too much intervention but the hormonally induced labour was terrifying. Events on that night controlled me and I really believe they triggered a fairly serious bout of Post-Natal depression.

When we met I had just been transferred onto the labour ward. I had already been given a dose of prostin (as you know) and my contractions were coming regularly but were not very effective. Both my husband and I were amazed when you said that had read not only my birth plan but all the notes of my previous delivery. You knew all the details of my previous delivery, how frightened I had been and showed an amazing degree of understanding in me, despite not knowing me at all. You could immediately sense that I am a person who needs to be in control of things and your calm, professional disposition really helped us make all the right decisions.

  • When the contractions weren't intense enough you suggested alternative ways of getting them going.
  • You held my hand and encouraged me
  • You encouraged my husband and let him know that he too was doing a fantastic job
  • you kept reminding me that I was in control and that I was doing marvellously
  • You delivered our baby gently in a darkened room with soft hands and soft words.

I cannot thank you enough. Our baby is calm - I have bonded with him so well. Because we are happy our oldest child is settled and doesn't feel in any way left out.

I will always remember the way Tate came into this world - it was truly a magical experience (even though it hurt like hell!).

I will be sending a copy of this letter to the Head of Midwifery.

With our heartfelt thanks.

Mr & Mrs Dejags

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Blu · 07/09/2004 10:21

Aaah, Dejags! It would certainly make my day if i received a letter like that. I think it's excellent that you are so specific, too - an'illuminating' thank you.

anorak · 07/09/2004 10:21

How lovely. I am sure this letter will put a huge smile on her face for days

lisalisa · 07/09/2004 10:25

Message withdrawn

hewlettsdaughter · 07/09/2004 10:30

Lovely letter dejags (and congratulations!)

nappybaglady · 07/09/2004 10:37

I work in healthcare. When I receive thanks it absolutely makes my day. If I received a letter like that I would treasure it forever and probably reread it on the bad days when it feels like the sky is falling down.

It's wonderful that you are copying it to head of midwifery. On a purely mercenary basis how about copying (or sending a less personal version) to the chief exec as well. Praise sometimes helps funding to be allocated to a particular unit.

It is so wonderful to have good memories of labour. I think about both my deliveries all the time - with joy. Congratulations and sweet dreams to you all

wishingchair · 07/09/2004 11:47

That is lovely dejags ... reminded me about my lovely midwife (I spotted her in the supermarket about a year later and thanked her for making it so special).

Think she'll be over the moon

Congratulations too!

Angeliz · 07/09/2004 11:53

dejags, that is gorgeous and such a nice gesture.
We sent a crd to my midwife (well i took it in but she was off that day!), and i wrote that it was a magical experience that she helped to create and we gave her a bottle of champagne.
My midwife stayed after her shift for an hour till i had dd and had her arm round me. (I'd never met her before). It was made all the more precious when another midwife told me that Janine (mine) had been going through a realy rough time and would be happy with a good birth.

Well done you for taking the time to do that, i'm sure you'll make her day

Twiglett · 07/09/2004 11:56

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highlander · 07/09/2004 19:23

what a lovely thing for you to do! I'm sure the midwife concerned will be on cloud nine

cuckoo2004 · 07/09/2004 19:27

I think that it's a lovely letter nd I'm sure that she will appreciate it. I agree with nappybaglady that you should also send a copy to the chief executive, I'm sure that he or she would be pleased to know that you are happy with your experience and it may help to raise the profile and influence of your midwife within the unit which would be a very good thing.

Hulababy · 07/09/2004 19:28

A lovely letter. :)

edam · 07/09/2004 19:51

It's great to hear you had such a positive experience, especially after a tough first labour. And lovely that you are sending such a touching letter to your midwife and her bosses. I bet she'll never forget you! And I bet a letter like this will inspire her colleagues as well...
Congrats to you, your dh and your two gorgeous mini-dejags.

DelGirl · 07/09/2004 20:15

what a lovely letter. It's brought tears to my eyes.

earlygirl · 07/09/2004 20:17

well done dejags
thats lovely i meant to do this and never got round to it

Skate · 07/09/2004 20:29

Great letter and I'm sure it will be really appreciated - I would!!

Like you, I had a brilliant birth 9 days ago and also wrote a card to the midwife who I thought was fantastic. I think their role is underestimated - the midwife can have such an impact on the whole labour and birth experience which in turn can have a real knock on effect afterwards. Mine was so lovely - helped me to stay really calm and brought in the ball which I would never have considered myself but would now recommend to anyone. The whole experience was so amazing, I might even consider a 4th!!

Like others have said, we are often so quick to complain but I think it's equally important to let someone know just what a fantastic job they are doing.

Lets hear it for fab midwives!!

Batters · 07/09/2004 21:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

moomina · 07/09/2004 21:48

That's such a lovely idea, dejags. Am sure she'll be thrilled to receive it. I wish I had done the same for the mw who delivered ds. She was absolutely brilliant and I always said that she made a very long, exhausting and painful experience manageable and sometimes even enjoyable. Just wish I'd said it to her, though!

moomina · 07/09/2004 21:49

Oh, and congratulations too

willow2 · 07/09/2004 22:09

Ahh, it is so lovely to hear of someone having such a brilliant experience, particularly after such a shitty first time.

xxxx

Twiga · 07/09/2004 22:33

Dejags, your letter is great and I'm sure will hlep to encourage your midwife in her job as well as make her day. Many congratulations on the safe arrival of you wee boy and best wishes for you all as a family .

Gingerbear · 08/09/2004 09:20

I bet mears gets letters like that all the time

acnebride · 08/09/2004 10:06

such a great thought dejags - wonderful to hear it was a good experience and great to share that happiness.

mears · 08/09/2004 22:55

That is a fabulous letter Dejags and I am sure the midwife will keep it in a treasured place. I have a little collection of special letters I have received over the years (not as many as you might think ).
It isn't that often that you actually get a written note and when you do, it has to be treasured. It will be much appreciated.

fairydust · 08/09/2004 23:08

gosh that brought a tear to my eye.

i think it's wonderful of you to send that letter in these days we all here of the bad labour experiences but never the good.

earlygirl · 09/09/2004 00:11

i had bad first time
great second time and feel guilty that i havent written a letter for either

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