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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Homebirth doubts

20 replies

lulumamasmentee · 04/07/2007 20:51

Hi Everyone

Just wanted to post here and see if anybody else had had any doubts coming up to their home births?

I've been really positive about it the whole time, excited, reading loads on the homebirth website etc but...and this is going to sound so silly, I watched that programme 'home grown babies' the other night and when the baby was born she didn't breath for ages and was all floppy and white

and I don't mind saying it completly terrified me. I know it had nothing to do with it being at home (the cord had come out at the same time as the head) but it really scared me to the point of feeling really panicked. I just wanted to scream at the tv for them to ring an ambulance. The baby started breathing after a while and was fine but now I can't stop thinking about it and how if I was in hospital and that happened they would be able to help the baby without getting an ambulance.

I don't want to say anything to DP because I really had to convince him about a home birth and he's still not sure, so if I started to show some doubts about it he would probably freak out.

Anybody else had this? is it just last minute doubts?

TIA

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fingerwoman · 04/07/2007 20:53

it's probably just cold feet. remember, you'll have 2 midwives with you and they do have stuff to help non-breathing babies. it isn't a case of having to rush to hospital with no assistance whatsoever for baby.
you shoudl speak to your midwife though about your concerns to put your mind at rest

lulumama · 04/07/2007 20:55

would you be having doubts if you had not seen this programme?

was this the one where the mother herself is a midwife, and had a lotus birth? if so, i saw it too....

remember, the baby was absolutely fine , yes , it was a scary few minutes, but all turned out ok

I don;t have a crystal ball, so cannot say 100 % that your birth will be problem free..but on balance, it should be fine

i think it is last minute jitters

i think every mother has them, regardless of where and how they intend to give birth

a floppy baby is every mother;s nightmare, waiting for that first cry, and not hearing it

you can always transfer to hospital if you are not happy at home, cannot do it the other way around

doubts are normal

liath · 04/07/2007 20:59

I got the willies about a week or so before my HB. Had a good cry on DH (who I'd had to really talk into a HB in the first place), decided that if I didn't feel happy when I went into labour we'd bail and go to hospital.

It was all fine, wonderful experience! Midwives are trained in resuscitation anyway.

Original poster

lulumamasmentee · 04/07/2007 21:02

it was that one, where she kept the placenta afterwards

i know it's silly but i can't get that image of the baby lying there out of my head

I think I will go and read tons of positive home birth stories and try and get back on track, I think it was just because I wasn't expecting it to happen

OP posts:

tulip27 · 04/07/2007 21:02

I gave birth to my son in hospital and as my midwife was so busy and caring for more than one mum she failed to notice a decrease in my sons heart rate and that he was indeed stuck. He was finally deliverd blue and unresponsive but was successfully resusitated and is now a happy thriving 2 year old. My daughter was born at the local birthing centre where I had one midwife who concentrated only on me, cur wonderfal birth.
At home you would have your own midwife or possibly two so they will spot any problems before they happen. In hospital, with the shortages( I know, i'm a nurse) you may not if they are busy have the full attention of your midwife( not their fault its the nhs who won't pay for more staff) so accidents could be viewed as more likely to happen.

CarGirl · 04/07/2007 21:04

I was in hospital (not at home as booked) and mine didn't cry for a while, got whisked off etc it is very scarey for those few moments but it's probably quite common that some are just stunned rather than it being a life threatening occurance?

Believe me you have major wobbles about giving birth whether at home or hospital!

Original poster

lulumamasmentee · 04/07/2007 21:05

this is all making me feel better and we are really close to the hospital if anything did happen

thanks everyone

OP posts:

DaisyMOO · 04/07/2007 21:05

Have you read the bits on the homebirth website under 'what if...' which explains what a midwife can do at home to help if the baby needs resuscitation? Don't forget that at a homebirth your labour is more likely to progress normally than if you were in hospital because you're in your own environment, and so your baby is probably less likely to need help than if you were in hospital.

lulumama · 04/07/2007 21:06

oh honey

read some Ina May and rediscover your excitement and anticipation of a homebirth

but it is really good to address all those fears, now, and get them sorted in your head, before labour begins

Pidge · 04/07/2007 21:09

lulumama - you SAID it!! My SIL gave me Ina May Gaskins' Guide to Childbirth on my due date, and it was totally inspiring. It really made me believe I could do it, and I actually re-read it again about 6 months after the birth!!

Get yourself a copy and get reading it!!

morocco · 04/07/2007 21:17

those last few weeks of pregnancy and all the fears and doubts really suck . I can't make any promises but agree with tulip that you will get (almost certainly) better and more attentive care at home.
if it helps, I had dd at home and she had cord round neck and took a few mins to breathe. she was fine, I was fine, it wasn't even scary, I was so confident she would breathe and she soon did, with a bit of oxygen to help her along. I wonder if sometimes it looks scarier to an outsider (eg watching a video) than it really is to those involved?

WideWebWitch · 04/07/2007 21:19

Hi, I had 2 homebirths and they were fab. Jitters are normal wherever you're going to give birth. But if you really think you'd be happier in hospital go for it, you can change your mind you know! (and I am totally pro home birth but also think you should do what you feel most comfortable with)

WideWebWitch · 04/07/2007 21:20

Btw, dd, second baby, was pale and needed oxygen when born but a) was fine, mw gave it to her and she was ok a min later b) I didn't know at time as was upstairs and she was whisked down to equip downstairs and c) same would have happened wherever I was and d) statisitically planned home birth is as safe as hosp birth.

nellie75 · 04/07/2007 21:29

Would just like to say that i had a home birth with my third child born eighteen weeks ago and it was the most fantastic experience in the world - well apart from the gas and air not working, lol but i think you know yourself if everything feels right or not and they do very regularly check heartbeat etc, no undue risks are taken and you are better looked after in my opinion.

cheritongirl · 05/07/2007 14:09

I had my first LO at home last year and yes, in the preceeding couple of weeks i felt very panicky about the whole thing, but i think i would have felt like that even if i hadn't planned a HB. The night before i went into labour i blubbed for about 3 hours with all the anxiety! Think its very normal to think of worst case scenarios before you give birth - hope you are able to feel a little bit more peaceful now. And remember that your mw will transfer you to hospital at the first hint of a big problem. But as i am sure lulu has told you, being at home has lots of positive stats attached! All the best to you

melrose · 05/07/2007 14:15

So glad to be reading this! I am planning a home birth (37 weeks) and wiating for my new midwife to come and se me at my new house! Iam equaly getting cold feet around the idea of something being wrong with the baby.

With rushing aroundmoving and finishing work Iam feeling a bit unprepared so any advice welcome (I think I need a mentor too!)

susie100 · 05/07/2007 14:44

Oooh I do sympathise, am feeling exactly the same way as you which I why I started that Bad experienced of homebirth thread. Have a look at it - I found it very reassuring because even people who had to transfer and had problems were very positive about the one to one care and how things were handled at home.
Good luck!

Loopymumsy · 05/07/2007 18:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Tipex · 05/07/2007 21:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EcoBel · 05/07/2007 21:34

Hi I just wanted to say that I had a home birth and had a couple of things go wrong - had a PPH and baby needed oxygen...however the midwives were great and dealt with everything fine. I don't regret having had a home birth and I'm sure I was much more relaxed through the labour because I was at home.
Good luck with it, and remember you can always request to transfer to hospital at any time if you have any doubts or worries.

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