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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Why is an epidural a big deal

134 replies

Muddytoes1 · 13/02/2019 14:19

Currently 30 weeks with my second and spoke to midwife today about the possibility of having an epidural this time round and she was all “well lots of options to consider before that” and started talking about the nice lighting etc in birthing room and aromatherapy etc. Didn’t want to be rude and point out that nice lighting isn’t the most effective pain relief option out there - she is really lovely and only trying to help. I didn't have any pain relief other than gas and air last time because NCT and midwives had made out that was the best option and yes I got through it but it wasn’t some amazing experience where I had a huge sense of achievement it was horrid. It hurt like hell and I don’t see why if there are better pain relief options out there I can’t use them? The main downside I can see to an epidural is not being able to feel pushing so increased likelihood of intervention but I never felt a pushing sensation anyway just lots and lots of pain which I think if anything was hindering the process not helping as I was fighting against it at every contraction rather than pushing. Anyway not really looking for any advice, just wanted someone to vent to and maybe reassure me that it’s ok to ask for pain relief in labour if I want it. Thank you x

OP posts:
GummyGoddess · 13/02/2019 14:26

If that's what you want then ask for it and make sure your birth partner is assertive enough to make themselves a nuisance until you get it. There aren't any medals available for ability to withstand pain, and you know you can do that anyway.

Sipperskipper · 13/02/2019 14:28

I did hypnobirthing which I had practiced for months before labour, and had lovely lighting, oils, light touch massage, affirmations etc etc. That all definitely helped and I did feel pretty calm and in control. However, after 20 odd hours of a back to back labour I was exhausted, and asked for an epidural. The hospital were amazing, and I had it within about 15 mins! It was bloody brilliant - I even managed to have a little snooze!

Ended up with an emergency c section, but not due to epidural (turns out I had strep b and DD was in distress) - even that wasn’t too bad really.

I would definitely recommend an epidural - I should have just had one the second I walked in!

Original poster
Muddytoes1 · 13/02/2019 14:30

Thanks Gummy, can I insist though do you think? Can they decide not to give you one? I dont really want to have a debate about it on the day just want to know in advance that when I get to that point I can walk in and as soon as anaesthetist is available I will have it. Why does it have to be a battle?

OP posts:
SallyWD · 13/02/2019 14:32

I've heard some horror stories about epidurals but my own experience was good. With my second child the Labour kept stopping and starting and after about 20 hours I was exhausted. I kept demanding an epidural, they kept saying I didn't need it. In the end they gave in. All the pain disappeared and I delivered my child in a lovely relaxed fashion.

Bigonesmallone3 · 13/02/2019 14:32

Women who have an epidural are more likely to need intervention, forceps/ventouse/episiotomy

Original poster
Muddytoes1 · 13/02/2019 14:35

Sipper your early labour sounds lovely! Sorry it didn’t work out as planned though sounds like the epidural was a welcome relief. Why does it have to be one or the other though? Surely I could have nice lights, smells and maybe a back rub AND total elimination of pain too (maybe I’m getting carried away now Grin). Maybe I’ll just tell them if I can’t have one then I’m going to bring a bottle of wine in with me and have that instead Wine.

OP posts:
Original poster
Muddytoes1 · 13/02/2019 14:37

Bigones- I’d seen that about interventions but thought that was because of not feeling the need to push which I didn’t anyway. Also had an episiotomy last time anyway which wasn’t too bad though I’m sure they can be awful.

OP posts:
GummyGoddess · 13/02/2019 14:37

Of course you can insist, tell them before you think you need it in case it takes a while though.

Original poster
Muddytoes1 · 13/02/2019 14:39

Sally glad you got one but didn’t you find it stressful having to keep asking?

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E20mom · 13/02/2019 14:41

Although you can insist it doesn't mean you'll definitely get one. I insisted on having gas and air through out my labour and i didn't get any!

Mummytumm · 13/02/2019 14:41

I've had 2 epidurals, they're great! Had no bother getting them either. Could have kissed the anaesthetists when I had mine, the relief is immense! It hurts when the needle goes in your spine but that's nothing really compared to the pain it relieves you from.
I still felt the stretching/stinging of the actual head being born but did not feel any pushing urge & had to be told when to push. No extra intervention with 1st birth but 2nd birth was shoulder dystocia so lots of intervention but that was due to baby's size, not the epidural.

DoingMyBest2010 · 13/02/2019 14:41

Epidurals are known to extend the labouring process and more chance of assisted delivery in the end, I guess they just need to get that covered...but hell...nice lightning wouldn't have cut it for me! And I did up with forceps as the epidural was a bit TOO effective and at the pushing stages...I felt nothing.

Original poster
Muddytoes1 · 13/02/2019 14:48

Thanks everyone for your replies. I will try and keep an open mind and speak to her again I just want to know it’s a proper option and that I’m not being crazy and unreasonable for considering it. It feels like it’s weord for even discussing it.

OP posts:
Mummytumm · 13/02/2019 14:51

You wouldn't go to the dentist for a tooth extraction and say "No don't bother with any anaesthetic!"
Please don't feel weird for asking in advance for an epidural - childbirth bloody hurts. There's always stories of ladies who just pop a couple if paracetamols, sneeze and there's baby!

Original poster
Muddytoes1 · 13/02/2019 14:51

E20 wow well done you for getting through without anything! Was there no gas and air available as not heard that before?

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Hoppinggreen · 13/02/2019 14:53

I loved my epidural, I was up and walking pretty quickly and home within 6 hours of giving birth
With no 1 I as adamant I didn’t want one but then had to have one for placenta removal and I thought “ wow, wish I’d had one of these a lot earlier!”
I said at every AN appt with no 2 I wanted one - I was induced and every time anyone came near me I asked if it was time for my epidural now. The MW suggested I didn’t have one once labour started ButbI said no, I definitely wanted one. She tried to brush me off so I asked her to put on my notes that I had been refused an epidural and told DH to note the time, anaesthetist turned up shortly after that

Lemoneeza · 13/02/2019 14:54

epidurals cost more. ditto sections.

LordPickle · 13/02/2019 14:54

I had an epidural and no intervention. I only pushed for 20 minutes and I didn't tear either. I would definitely have one again.

Original poster
Muddytoes1 · 13/02/2019 14:58

Lemon that’s interesting, do you think that would actually be a reason for them to put you off?

Hopping, what a great line! Will keep that one handy just in case!

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Original poster
Muddytoes1 · 13/02/2019 15:00

Also good to hear people have had positive experiences with epidurals. I guess everyone has a different experience so some who have epidurals will be fine no intervention just like some who don’t will end up with lots of intervention. Though I understand this is more likely with an epidural it’s not the whole picture.

OP posts:
MonsterKidz · 13/02/2019 15:02

With my first I had gas and air and pethidine and although it was painful, I survived. I didn’t ask for an epidural as I wanted to do it natural. After delivery I had a retained placenta and had to go to surgery for removal. They gave me an epidural and I was like omg WHY did I not have this in labor! The only downside was having to wait for it to wear off so I could get up and about with my baby. By far the worst part was the catheter. Having it attached to your bits and every time you went to pee, the bag inflated was just horrid. It wasn’t for long mind. Consider that part. I also ended up staying in a lot longer as they had to ensure I had passed urine and done a no2 before letting me go. I had an episiotomy anyway, but that was because I’d delivered naturally.

2nd time round I still wanted to go natural. In fact, I wanted fhe whole pool experience that I didn’t have 1st time. I had a long early labor but did really well on gas and air and pool until I’d been going for 12hours and only 3cm! I knew I couldn’t do it, the contractions were much worse!
I opted for the lights (!) and also some aromotherapy injections in my back. The head midwife came along for these and was promising me they would be game changer. The pain/stinging those injections I will
Never forget! 5 of them!!! They did absolutely nothing...

So then I started insisting on an epi. I begged, pleased. Told my husband I was going to go absolutely mental if I didn’t get one etc etc. They really did their best to put me odd. Told me we’d talk about it after my next exam, in the next hour bla bla bla...

I thought there must have been budget cuts or something the way they tried to put me off...

Anyway, eventually they conceded, but I had to move from the midwife led centre down a floor to the delivery suits. I couldn’t have it in the midwife led unit.

Got in the lift and all of a sudden things got really bad (turns out I was in transition) and as is arrived downstairs I was ready to push. So guess what. It was too late for the epi!!

What I’m trying to say is I really did experience them trying to delay and put me off. If you are 100% sure it’s what you want, then assert yourself and have your partner prepped. Also consider were you give birth and the availability to have one there.

Original poster
Muddytoes1 · 13/02/2019 15:02

Also I said I would like to consider labouring in water but last time no pool was available so really want to look at othe options.

OP posts:
Twickerhun · 13/02/2019 15:03

I asked for an epidural but wasn’t given one - I wasn’t strong enough in my request. They kept telling me I could manage without one. I did manage without one but it was soo painful I shouldn’t have had to. If you want one be clear and very firm and get your birth partner to insist.

Roomba · 13/02/2019 15:03

I wonder if they offer men suffering comparable amounts of pain nice lighting? Or maybe some breathing exercises?

Genuine question - I know epidurals can lead to longer labour and more interventions. Is it possible that these labours that are more painful and so more likely to request an epidural (ie back to back baby)? I don't know if they take that into account in the statistics so I'm curious.

Nothing wrong with asking for an epidural if you want one. Make sure you ask early enough to be able to get one, I suspect if more anaesthetists were available midwives wouldn't push women away from even asking about it as much.

Thesnobbymiddleclassone · 13/02/2019 15:05

My midwife told me that an epidural should be a last resort because:

You can't guarantee an anesthetist is available to give it

It can make the baby drowsy.

Longer recovery for mum

I never bothered with one. The needle put me off.