How to make a strong bond

[paprickapaull]

To all

I'm just am about to go on maternity leave and I want to make sure that I make the most of this precious time.
What did everyone else find were the most effective ways of maximising the bond with their DC?

Make sure you spend all the time you can with the dc. So he/she can get really familiar with your face and will never forget you ever ever ever.

Lots of skin-to-skin. We had days when we just snuggled in bed all day. Lots of talking to him. I used to read while he fed, so I read out loud to him quite a lot so he heard my voice.

I used to sing to DS a lot as well. I still do, but now he requests the songs and joins in! One of the lullabies I used to sing still makes him yawn, and my mum also has a special song that only she sings to him - he loves that one too.

Just lots of snuggles and time, but also don't put too much pressure on yourself for it to be all magical all the time. It is very special but it can also be very hard. Go with the flow and love them - that's the most important thing of all. And don't be afraid to ask for help if you need to.

forgetting the housework and just cuddling and staring and napping with her on me and even though I was bloody knackered and felt like I was drowning on days, just appreciating them and like pp has said, I used to also read to them whatever I was reading at the time while dd fed.
Good luck to you!

I'm trying to think how to answer without it sounding defensive...

That's all great if you can and you want to. Days just lying in bed staring into their eyes with you both nearly naked whilst someone brings you sustaneance sounds great!

But, you're already putting pressure on yourself to bond in a way thst is special and right, as though if you do x, y and z you'll somehow be a better Mum.

I did none of it. I didn't hold him at all for the first 4 weeks, and then very little for the next 4. He didn't stare into my eyes and me into hin as our destinies entwined for at least 6 weeks. I didn't even put him in his first outfit. I didn't breast feed. I did read and sing to him, from hours old and I touched bits I could reach with scrubbed clean hands.

We have and have always had a great bond. He's 3.5 and likes to put his head up my top to bow raspberries on my stomach just to get close. I am his favourite person, just don't tell DH. When he cries in his sleep, I can settle him faster than DH. He is the axis on which my universe turns.

So do all the things people have said. Enjoy every precious second and the less you can do physically without him and the more you can do with him the better.

But you will bond with your baby, and whether you get a sudden flush of love or whether it takes a bit longer, loving her and doing your best by her is enough