Has anyone else had 2+ c sections?

[Herewegogoooo]

I’ve had a failed vbac and just feeling like no one I know really understands. None of my close friends or family have had 1 cs let alone a failed vbac. I feel a bit sad about it and I can’t believe we’ve been so unlucky that it’s happened twice! A friend told me about her birth which was identical to my vbac except her baby came out in just 4 pushes whereas I was pushing for 3 hours and nothing happened. I think that’s just brought home how close we were and how much harder a time I had and yet it still didn’t work out. I was just wondering if anyone else has had several cs’ and how they feel about it or things that helped them move forwards

I haven't (DC2 coming up in a few months, hopefully VBAC) but I thought I'd pipe up to say I'm sorry you're having such a hard time.

Prepping for next birth I've realised what an emotional toll CS takes, making you feel disempowered and passive. It doesn't help when friends go on about how you're spared tears etc, as if you're lucky!

I think the maddening thing is not knowing if the alternative was either a more relaxed approach or a different posture or something that could have changed things, or if the alternative to CS was harm to you and the baby. There's no way of knowing and you'll go crazy wondering.

Nature doesn't play fair. You don't get a worse birth than your friend because you deserve it, it's just how it turns out and you need to process that and make peace with it.

Would a hospital debrief help? Or if you're into slightly more wacky/hippy stuff you could do a closing the bones/rebirthing ceremony.

I’ve had 3. First due to breach, second due to being quite close after the first and although I could’ve pushed for vbac, I didn’t want one and a 3rd because after 2, they recommended it.

For some people, birth can be traumatic for a whole host of reasons. I get why people want the birth they imagined. But really, the only thing that matters is the safety of you and the baby. Try not to beat yourself up.

I've had two cesareans. One elective and one emergency. The cesareans aren't a problem for me, my first cesarean I requested because I found the idea of a vaginal birth awful so my òpinions will likely be different to yours.

I'm not thrilled about the emergency one but that's because negligence leading up to it and not the cesarean itself.

Yep, feel like a failure. Don't no one give me that 'at least you have a healthy baby' line, I was paralysed and sliced open again, and I really really didn't want to have to go through that ever again, but I did. OP x

I've never understood why some cesarean mothers feel like a failure. Birth isn't like a marathon, it's not a case of train hard enough and you'll succeed.

I’ve had three.
First was emergency.
Second failed vbac.
Third uterine rupture at 37 weeks.

Having a c section is far better than not being able to access a c section.

You’re not a failure. None of us are

I’ve had three, first one was an emergency and I was told the same would likely happen again so my 2nd and 3rd births were planned sections.

I don’t feel like a failure at all. A lot of people have said to me they could never have a section and they wouldn’t be strong enough to deal with it or the recovery.

I know a PP has said don’t give me the line ‘at Least you’ve got a healthy baby’, but honestly I’m so glad I was able to have my sections, Dd and me would probably have died in labour if it wasn’t an option to have the section. I’m so grateful for that and my kids, how can that be a failure :)

I haven't had a csection- considering it this time around however same as you no family or close friends have had one so I feel like I've no one to talk to about my options/worries. They are aghast at the thought of csection and would prefer to have pain/injuries down below than deal with a scar on tummy?!

Even my forcep delivery was a failure to me as again no family/friends had experienced intervention even though they've had 'hard times' such as back to back babies, shoulder dystocia, face presentation, large PPH etc But none ended in EMCS or intervention- all on gas and air of course!!

DC1 was spontaneous labour no epidural etc gas and air, done everything midwives asked kept mobile throughout, pushing stage was all done standing but it just wasn't happening. Signed off for a EMCS but forceps worked large PPH too.

I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place for dc2 due in 8 weeks 😥 supposed to be chatting with consultant midwife soon.

I just want to let you know I understand where you're coming from in terms of woman close to you not being through interventionor csection and feel like you've no one to talk to about it.

DS childminders 3 daughters all had 1st EMCS and opted for ELCS 2nd time and highly recommend. That's the closest to real life feedback I've had!

I've had the standard EMCS followed closely by a ELCS.

It so very personal and subjective. I know women who feel hideous for having sections. My own DS was trying to counsel me over having sections!!

I honestly couldn't care less how my babies came out. My DS would be dead if it wasn't for the amazing skills and speed of my OB.

If you can't push your baby out, you can't push your baby out. It's not a special skill that you didn't practice enough during pregnancy.

I have just had my third. I did feel a bit like a failure after my first (emcs). People seem to think it’s much easier yet I had had a 3 day labour and pushed for ages- I had tried, but get heart rate kept dropping.

The other two were inevitable. One I hoped for vbac, but wasn’t close enough to being in labour for them to use the more limited induction options available so was planned. Third wasn’t much choice as unadvisable to vba2c unless you have had a previous successful vaginal delivery.

Now I feel better about it. We are all fine. It’s pretty fucking scary to have surgery whilst awake. It is a big deal/ big recovery. Luckily for me it has all been straightforward so far but I see now that it still took its toll on me and certainly wasn’t an easy option. Over time I have come to terms with it. I hope you will to with hindsight. Sorry you feel bad though. People don’t really understand. I think being s mother you can’t win- you feel guilt about everything!