I've just welcomed my second child into the world, having had a traumatic time with the arrival of my first 20 months ago, and wanted to write the type of post I was frantically looking for prior to my second induction.
For background, induced at 41 weeks with my first, induction/labour was going ok, took gas and air, and some meptid towards the end, was told baby wasn't progressing and starting to get distressed (struggling to regain good heart rate following pushes). After 2 hours of pushing, he was delivered with forceps and episiotomy. The Doc did some internal damage with the forceps, so I had a large haematoma to go with my PPH. Taken to HDU, then theatre the following day for drainage and packing under GA. I was kept in for 5 days post birth, I think. Physical recovery was fairly quick, and by 6 weeks, it felt like we were over the trauma.
I got pregnant again, and after the initial elation, developed some anxiety about the prospect of going through it all again. This took me completely by surprise as I thought I was totally over what had happened. Anxiety levels continued to rise and midwife referred me for emotional & well-being support. Was diagnosed with PTSD and tokophobia, and started CBT.
Throughout the pregnancy I was hugely undecided about elective c-section vs another vaginal birth. I couldn't tolerate the idea of either, which increased my anxiety as the pregnancy progressed. I couldn't see how I was going to get through another birth.
Also had huge anxiety about leaving my son for the first time.
Fast forward to last week, I was induced at 38 weeks. Baby arrived at 38+3. Same drugs needed, almost same amount of time on the drip to the minute, totally different experience. No drama, no doctors, no forceps. A bit of tearing and stitches, but was a totally different experience.
My mantra throughout, verbalised by DH and I, was "this time IS different", and it was.
5 day old DD has been up in SCBU with sepsis (a whole other thread), but is doing really well and we are hoping to get home later today.
This is absolutely not a stealth boast. My first experience of childbirth was physically and mentally scarring, and I was literally terrified that this birth might kill me. I'm hoping it might give someone facing a similar set of circumstances some reassurance that it CAN be different second time around. I was told that constantly throughout my pregnancy, but was unable to believe it.
Finally, good luck and kind regards to anyone going through something similar. It's awful at the time, but totally worth it at the other end.