What are your thoughts on this??

[mumtodd]

Just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience to mine and your thoughts on it. I had my first baby last year. I had a difficult pregnancy as I was sick most of the way through with hyperemesis. About a week before I was due I had a visit with my gp's practive nurse - just routine blood pressure etc. I said to her that without being able to explain why exactly i just felt that the baby would arrive soon. She totally dismissed this and said it could be a couple of weeks yet. I felt uneasy all that day but no pains. Had a show around midnight and rang the hospital. The midwife spoke to me briefly and told me to go to bed and come in the next morning to be checked if I wanted. I tried to sleep but was very uneasy. at 3 am pains began, very intense and close together so we set off on the hours drive to the hospital. When we got there I was hooked up to a monitor for about an hour and at 5.30ish i was examined. told i was 2cm. They wanted to send dh away but as the journey was an hour they said he should sleep in the car. I didn't want him to leave so walked for a while and a nurse suggested i get in the bath. I did andwithin a minute I got a huge urge to push. Got out and went to find the midwife. At this stage i thought something wasn't right as she said nothing would happen for hours. SHe begrudgingly examined me again and was shoked to discover baby was on the way. our beautiful dd was delivered less than 30 minutes later. So went from 2cm to birth in a couple of hours.
Since the baby was born I have been very anxious. The first few months were really difficult as i was so nervous. i am a bit better now but definitely very over protective and nervous and feel anxious about her a lot of the time. She on the other hand is full of confidence and is very
outgoing which is great.
Thinking about it now i wonder if the very fast birth means i wasn't ready for her to be born. could this have contributed to my anxiety?? Iknow it is ever a year ago but it still bothers me that i wasn't taken seriously and that if i had listened to the midwife i would have had dd at home, totally unprepared.
Anyone experienced anything similar?

Not really Mumtodd - I am sure all your feelings are natural though. You have to remember that EVERYONE thinks their child is coming before it's due, and I guess it's difficult for MWs to define real and maybe...Try not to dwell on that, and just enjoy your baby. I was an extremely anxious mum with both my children (now 3 & 7). It's exhausting isn't it? Good luck, and I hope someone can empathise with your situation.

I went trough this but i was left on my own as they didnt believe i was in labour! All these feelins normal.I suffered from pnt as a result of my birth experience if any worries speak to a health visitor or doctor trust me it gets better! good luck

mumtood I had a similar experience with DD1, waters broke went on was examined cervix closed so sent home and told to come back in 2 days for induction. On the way home started having very painful contractions minutes apart so went back in, had 3 contractions in 5 minutes whilst there. Got examined again and was only 1cm so was told I could go home, or be admitted to a ward but DP would have to go home, then they decided that I was making too much noise and I could lie there with the gas and air until morning. MW went on her break and I was making so much noise some other MWs came in and said I had to try and be quiet as I had hours of this to come, at this point I was terrified. About 20 minutes later then came back in and asked if I was pushing I said yes I need to they examined me and I was 10 cms. Needless to say DD1 born shortly after. I would say I was in shock for about a day afterwards but it didn't affect me afterwards. I was annoyed when people said I was lucky to have a short labour.

The good thing was that when I was pregnant with DD2 we both knew it would be quick. It was a homebirth and the MWs knew me and my history so both came at once. I was 8cms dilated when first examined but her head was high as waters were intact so it slowed things down. I wasn't as terrified this time and apart from the pain had a great birth experience with DD2.

I think feeling anxious and being over protective comes with being a parent especially the first time, I don't think you are any different. Maybe talking to someone like a counsellor may help. Hope this helps a little bit.

No matter how nice the midwives are, I think there is still an assumption that we mothers will be 'average'.

Both of my boys came much sooner than expected, and all hell broke loose when it became obvious that they were were on their way. I was lucky in that although I definitely laboured, I was not in intense pain like other women may have been. My cervix obviously goes from 0-10 in a very efficient way!

Trust your own instincts - always - and just allow yourself the knowledge/confidence that you did know best.

Thanks for the replies. Just working through some things in my head and wondered if the fast birth contributed to my anxiety and feelings of being totally unprepared. But who knows if I might have felt the same if I had gone through a long and difficult labour. At least I had a relatively easy birth and dd is perfect in every way!

Mumtodd, a very fast birth does tend to leave mums in shock! That's normal! You may not think that you have a right to but I suggest speaking to someone from Birth Trauma. Your feelings are just as real and valid as someone who had a long and very difficult labour and you have every right to get your head sorted.

You probably were not mentally ready for your daughter to be born. You did hear your instincts telling you about your imminent labour but these days we don't tend to put too much store by listening to our bodies, so you didn't really tune in and you didn't trust yourself as the 'white coats' know best. They don't, actually, you know yourself best! Next time, listen to your body, stay in tune and plan a homebirth!

Hope you get some closure and peace ((((Mumtodd))))

Klaw
Thank you for putting the birth trauma website reference. I have never seen it before but I feel like singing 'Halleluya' I'm not going mad as I approach the birth of ds2...