Leaving older child for to give birth

[smellsofelderberries]

I know people do it all the time but I'm having a major panic about leaving DD for a few nights to give birth to DS. I'm having an ELCS and hospital have said provided I have no complications I should go home on day 4. I just don't think I can be away from DD that long. We've had some massive family upheavals in the past few months and I don't know how she will cope with me not being here. We are temporarily living with my mother and it's the sort of house which really isn't child friendly so I'm going to spend the whole time panicking she's going to be hurt.

Anyone have any words of reassurance?

Obviously massive fail on the title proofing 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Are you in the U.K.? My local hospital has a 24 discharge for ELCS with no complications - I agree with you that 4 days seems an awfully long time to be in and apart from your DD.

Four days sounds like quite a long time for an elective section. Our local hospital aims to get people out after 1 or 2 nights on the enhanced recovery programme. I went home the second day after my emergency section for DS2. So it might not be as long as you think. Try to get moving around after the op as soon as you feel able.

Whatever happens I'm sure your DD will be fine. Think kids are a lot more resilient than we give then credit for. How old is your DD?

I'm not in the U.K. Apparently because of some medication I'm on baby will need to be monitored for a few days for withdrawal (an extremely low dose SSRI), so I'm not allowed to go home. I will question this though.
I know children are resilient, but she is a naturally anxious child where I am concerned (e.g. she can get upset at the GP sometimes when they're taking my blood pressure!), and as I said, we have had quite a bit of upheaval lately already. My husband had to go overseas several weeks ago and won't arrive back until approx 10 days before the birth. DD is 2y 2m.

Can u get a babysitter beforehand who gets familiar with her then get babysitter to bring her in every day?

And yes she will be fine. How hands on are your mum and dh? Maybe before as well (few weeks) start leaving her a bit more than normal so it's not so much of a shock.

Also try to remember you will find it harder than her. She won't even remember.

Thanks all. Mum and DH extremely hands on. I am hoping once I'm actually in hospital I can just concentrate on Bub and get through it. Just a very daunting and overwhelming thing to think about right now!

I understand. It was also my biggest concern when having my kids... in hindsight though, I think I was massively projecting my emotions onto them.. I missed them like anything but they were absolutely fine - even ds2 who was only 2 years old and at that time the biggest "mummy's boy". I think so long as you're leaving her in a familiar place with familiar people who have her best interests in mind there's nothing to worry about. Even if the house isn't the most child proof, your mother/dh will be there and are presumably aware of the risks?