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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

I got my c section!

25 replies

mortifiedmama · 13/12/2018 17:50

I'm so fucking relieved!

Had consultant appointment today, explained my reasoning, she said it was totally fine, not an issue, here's the risks (risks were all discussed in relation to what I'd already experienced as well which was great).

I have to go back at 36 weeks for pre-op and booking date. But it's approved.

Such a relief! I may be able to enjoy the rest of the pregnancy.

OP posts:
ChristmasCuddles · 13/12/2018 17:59

That’s lovely. I had an elective section for my baby and it was a lovely experience.

All the best for the rest of the pregnancy and birth.

Feta0 · 14/12/2018 00:06

So pleased for you.
I’m yet to have mine approved.
Can I ask how far along you are?

SimplySteve · 14/12/2018 00:16

Great news! DD was a (semi)elective and the team were amazing with DP and she's always said it was the right choice.

Original poster
mortifiedmama · 14/12/2018 06:40

32 weeks Feta0. I've been pushing for it since 8 weeks though!

OP posts:
DaisyDaisydoo · 14/12/2018 06:45

Congratulations, it’s a wonderful experience Flowers

DuggeeHugs · 14/12/2018 07:31

Congratulations - it's such a relief when they're finally agreed. Mine was lovely and I hope yours is too!

Feta0 · 14/12/2018 09:44

I have to go back at 35 weeks they won’t see me again until then. It is the most stressful thing ever! Also made request at booking in 8-9 weeks. They saw me at about 14 weeks gave me a one sided view of the risks of c section and basically tried their best to put me off. When I wasn’t easily put off they said come back at 35 weeks.
They have been very vague and non commital about the whole thing and the stress has taken over my pregnancy.

Did you say anything in particular to persuade them to agree? I’m just always interested to know if the people who get these granted are the ones who are more assertive and willing to fight their corner.
Or if some consultants just have a blanket no c sections for maternal request rule in their mind, regardless of what you do or say.

Branleuse · 14/12/2018 09:46

was it to do with a phobia or a past birth experience?

Feta0 · 14/12/2018 09:48

Mainly birth experience.
Bad tear. Infection.
Long drawn out and difficult recovery. Pnd.
And now I probably am phobic of childbirth!

Feta0 · 14/12/2018 09:50

braunleuse I assumed you were talking to me there and not the op!
Apologies if that was directed at the op.

ExcitedForChristmas18 · 14/12/2018 09:53

I have had two c sections..It was absolutely the right decision for DH and I. My DH's favourite moment since the birth of both are children, was when they had both just been born, and I had to be stitched back up. DH had twenty minutes of just him and our babies. That time has been the most precious to him. Making the bond even stronger between them straight away ❤

Butteredghost · 14/12/2018 10:29

Congratulations! My cs getting booked was the best day of the whole pregnancy, second best was the actual day of it. It was a great experience, really easy.

DuggeeHugs · 14/12/2018 10:38

@Feta0 I think it's just a case of being persistent and researching the risks yourself. I found some really useful stuff on the RCOG website particularly related to my circumstances.

If you haven't already seen it, the NICE clinical guidance allows for maternal request CS: www.nice.org.uk/guidance/cg132/ifp/chapter/About-this-information

bobsyerunclek · 14/12/2018 10:39

Can I ask how you convinced them to give you one? And what reasons you had for it? Thanks and I'm glad you did you deserve to give birth however you choose Smile

DuggeeHugs · 14/12/2018 10:39

@Feta0 it used to be the case that if the consultant refused your request then they needed to refer you to a consultant who would accept a maternal request - hopefully that is still the case

Original poster
mortifiedmama · 14/12/2018 13:37

@Feta0 thankfully I'm in a trust that respects womens decision over their own bodies, and with the exception of one officious (and plain rude) registrar the other midwives and registrars I've seen have been very supportive of my decision. That one registrar really panicked me though.

I was clearly very nervous going in, so much so the consultant said I looked terrified! I almost cried (I am not a crier, at all!). I explained my reasoning's and she asked a few clarifying questions and then said that she was happy to provide a c section and wrote that in my notes. She asked if I'd had the literature, which I had and then gave a very brief over view of potential risks, but did caveat that with "you know the risks of a vaginal birth, you experienced them" and also told me that second births are usually more straightforward but she could understand my reticence.

She said I could choose not to have one right up until they were cutting me, and that if I go in to labour before my date I could choose to have a section then as well, right up until the "head is at the perineum".

When I first said I wanted a section she did prickle a bit, but relaxed as soon as I gave my reasoning's.

@Branleuse what's it matter?

OP posts:
Branleuse · 14/12/2018 14:58

just a question regarding your thread mate. No need to answer. Just assumed it wasnt something advised by them, so wondered what it was about. Congrats on getting it

Original poster
mortifiedmama · 14/12/2018 15:32

@Branleuse sorry to have jumped on you, just had a previous thread where I detailed my reasons and some idiot who didn't read the OP (which detailed my birth injuries and ongoing physical and mental issues) suggested I used hypnobirthing and counseling to get over my 'fear' and allow me to have a vaginal birth.

The consultant actually said it was 50/50 as to whether a VB would make things worse and entirely dependent on how well it went so could understand why I didn't want to take the risk.

OP posts:
Branleuse · 14/12/2018 15:39

sounds like the right decision. I hope it all goes smoothly this time.

I hope you also get what you need Feta.

Its a shame that they make you fight for everything

Feta0 · 14/12/2018 18:21

Thanks for sharing mortified.
Did you have to see the consultant to get it signed off?or did one of the registrars just deal with it and then report back to the consultant then back to you etc.

That’s what’s happened at my previous appointments so far where the registrar started out quite nice and supportive would go away relay my request to the consultant and reasons why, then they would come back full of horrible facts and figures the consultant filled them with about c sections and alleged facts such as Even i I had a further similar tear the symptoms may just remain the same.
I wonder if they’d be so relaxed if it was them who had to live with the consequences! I doubt it!

I am quite frankly sick of the whole process.

Thanks dugee I am aware of nice guidelines. I will be so persistent I won’t back down.

I have spoken to birth rights who have advised me to go back to them if the trust won’t clarify at 35 weeks whether they agree or not, and I think I will also pursue a complaint if they don’t give me an answer. After all it does seem a bit cruel to keep someone hanging until almost eight months pregnant and they say actually no we won’t grant your request.
I appreciate as per nice guidelines they don’t have to say yes.
But if they want to say no to my request, they should have done it at an earlier point and I would have pursued the matter at a different healthcare trust.
I’m hoping they are just stalling me, hoping that I may change my mind Sad

Original poster
mortifiedmama · 14/12/2018 20:17

I had to see the consultant. I just specified that I needed to see the consultant not a registrar when I checked in at clinic. It meant I had to wait but I didn't care.

OP posts:
Feta0 · 15/12/2018 20:13

Thanks that sounds so obvious but I’d never thought about insisting to see the consultant.
I was just going to go in and hope for the best.
But I think I will just tell them that I will sit there until I see who I need to see and I don’t care if that means I sit there for the consultants full shift!

Since2016 · 18/12/2018 14:35

Got mine approved today and a date booked! 7 weeks to go now!

I was so nervous but she couldn’t have been lovelier. I had an EMCS with DD and the whole labour experience left me traumatised. Absolutely thrilled it’s booked and sorted. Good luck to those still waiting x

Since2016 · 18/12/2018 14:37

Ps. I saw the consultant - she had already read my notes so was briefed. There was no quibbling about it - entirely my decision.

I followed the advice on this thread though and for the avoidance of doubt specified I wanted to see the consultant when I got to clinic.

costacoffeecup · 18/12/2018 15:05

I had mine signed off a couple of weeks ago, will get the definite date at my pre op appointment but aiming for around the 39 week mark. I was quite surprised at how straightforward it was, I mentioned at 20 week consultant appt and spent quite a long time detailing my first birth (induction, third degree tear, haemorrhage and manual removal) and consultant just agreed but said I'd need to discuss again at 32 weeks. So I asked at 32 week appointment and they just went through risks and filled out form.

I think having regular consultant appointments (suspected pre eclampsia in first pregnancy) helped as I was already booked in to see consultant anyway if you see what I mean - so I had the opportunity to discuss it from early on. Plus I think it seems easier if it's your second and you've had tears etc with your first.

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