Will the experience be the same as my mother's?!

[Dophus]

I have heard that you are likely to have a similar childbirth experience to your mother - e.g. with regard to whether the baby arrives early or late, and length of the various stages of labour. It is supposed to be more relevant for the I'm curious as to whether anyone has found any truth in this...

It would be great if I had the same experience as my mother. She had 4, I was born in 10 minutes, my sister before me was almost born in the loo . However, she was 10 years younger than I am now with her last and was a dancer so was very supple. I live in hope! My sister also has 4, fairly straightforward labours and births and just gas and air, which is what i'm hoping for. Again, she was nearly 10 years younger than me with her last. It's just a case of wait and see I suppose.

I wish I had had similar childbirth experiences to my mum! I think both me and my brother were early and sister pretty much when due. Amd all 3 were pretty straight forward, "natural" births with limited pain relief.

My experience was over an overdue baby, failed induction and resulting in cs. No where near similar!

unfortunately not in my case!. my mum had a short labour (6 cm dilated when at hospital, 6 hours from first twinge to delivery, and it was a back labour as well).no epidural as there wasn't time! whilst my labour was 30 hours from start of contractions being 4 mins apart to delivery (13 hours officially in established labour), with drips, fetal monitoring, ventouse, 2 lots of diamorphine!

God, I wish my births had been like my 'oh, it doesn't hurt' mother's. Or indeed my pregnancies like her 'I don't believe in morning sickness' ones. Wouldn't mind her narrow hips and flat stomach and general gorgeousness either.

I did copy my mum and have my second baby at home, though. And both my babies were early like hers.

MI - i think some (lucky?) people don't feel pain when the cervix dilates. A girl at my baby massage class went to her 39 week check up with the mw to be told - oh by the way you are 4.5 cm dilated - she hadn't felt a thing!!!

both mine late, like mum's, but mine were both caesars, mum had me in hospital and my little sister at home.

Mine wasn't really, hers wasn't easy but it was much shorter and more straightforward than mine, but I am smaller than my mother and my ds was much larger than her first baby (my sister), so can't really compare there. Also, re early v late, she was induced early with my sister due to pre-eclampsia and went into labour spontaneously with me 2 days early; for me labour started spontaneously a few days late. So, no similarities really!

No you are not likely to have the same labour as your mother BUT and this is an important BUT.... if your mother has unresolved issues about her birth and keeps telling how horrid it was for her and she should really have had a section.... you are likely to have a difficult birth if you can't "distance" yourself from her stories... I say this because I have now seen it more than once and I feel it's a great shame for daughters to be unconsciously talked into a difficult birth.....

The other point that I find is quite interesting... most of our mothers had easier births.... and I think it's because they knew and FEARED less childbirth and because sections werev not nearly as common as now !

I wish they were, she nearly had me in the lift as was so quick,ds took nearly 2 hours to push out as was cream crackered after nearly 2 days of it on and off, and dd was 8 hours start to finish(in fact never talked about times from different stages before with her...so will ring her soon and next time will ask her about this...wont she be plased).

do you think pupuce, my mum always says she dreaded going into labour as she says "it's not something I'd choose to do on a Saturday afternoon" think the pain was still the same maybe we're just more anxious about it??

my mum had fast labours with all of us and tore badly. My MIL had long labours with nasty forceps as DH and his siter have wide heads. I suspect DH was probably OP as well. But she's definitely one of those stoical, 'it was all worth it' types.

It, and other factors, definitely veered me toward opting for a Caeserian birth.

If only! My mum had me (weighed in at 9.8lbs!) and my bro pretty easily, bro at home after a 35min labour. I wasn't quite so lucky, unfortunately. Maybe it's cos my mum is about twice my size and has childbearing hips, though I do think there's something in your theory, Pupuce. I imagine women laboured more naturally without intervention to speed things up and also with more continuity of care. From what my mum tells me, just two or three midwives seemed to deliver all the babies in a town of about 20,000 people, in the 1950's! Everyone knew them and they became part of the family.

My mams labour with me came on really quick and lasted 3-4 hours. I did EXACTLY the same with dd and PRAY for another just like her in February!!

Do you know something Highlander - the way women were delivered in your mum's era is so much different from today. That management may have resulted in the tears and it is such a shame that it has influenced your choice of delivery. Now a wee pool delivery might have been the better option {wink} Certainly didn't do those in your mum's day.

Such a good point mears, it is heartbreaking that women fear childbirth and are put off having a beautiful natural experience on the basis of the way birth used to be, and still is in some places "managed"

If only women would listen to their own instincts, this is why I think it is important not to focus on what happened to mums and other female relatives, no two births are the same, getting the envoironment/support right is such a big factor. Whenever I hear a true horror story there always seems to be issues that could never be attributed to a hereditary or genetic disposition!

I think pupuce made a valid point here too, it is all about what is passed on emotionally, I had two positve experiences, as did my mum. Could that be because she instilled confidance and a huge amount of positivity where labour and birth was concerned?

mears, my mum had 3 of us in the late 60's/early 70's and the other 2 in the mid 80's. Funnily enogh, my brother's birth was the worst (80's) because they insisted on inducing her on the due date as she was 'old'.

On a positive note, the midwife that delivered my bro was the same one that delivered me - and my mum introduced me to her when I visited. it was an absolute thrill. Crikey, I'd forgotton about that.

No, I don't think my mother had an easier birth because she didn't expect pain, actually. As it happens, my mother is from India - one of the cultures where childbirth is regarded as one of the most painful things in the world (hey, shall we try and find some others? Er....like lots? All of them, in fact). AND she got the brush-off from the midwives when she went into hospital, was told (well, actually my dad was told - I suppose the midwife thought she'd better talk to the white husband) that there was no way she'd give birth that night, and she was left to labour alone, unsupported, in an X-ray room. I think she was just physiologically lucky. As a lot of women who go into labour blissed-out on Sheila Kitzinger's promise that it'll be 'pain with a purpose' are unlucky and find that, eek, it hurt like hell.

agree with MI. My mother described her labour as agony but quick - and no bad tearing - just an episiotomy! But given the quickness I thought it was pretty enviable for a first labour - my labour was longer than my mothers partly due to the intense pre-labour because of ds positioning, and partly because diamorphine ground my labour to a halt and I needed a drip again to restart labour.

my mother had me at 29 weeks after haemorraging and my brother at 36 weeks (few hours natural labour).

I had DD at nearly 38 weeks 4 and a half hours only gas and air (hurt like hell) midwife said next time I'll be a 2 hour homebirth!!!

How likely is it for me to have to have a c section? My mother had 2 with me and bro in early 80s as she was small (5ft only) but we weren't particularly huge babies, only 7 lbs 7 and 7lbs 4. Any ideas?

My experiences mirror my mum's in many ways. We both had our babies late (she at 34 and 37 in the mid-sixties, me at 35, 39 and 40). We both had elective c-sections for our first babies as they were both transverse (v unusual). But I went on to have a stillbirth and then a second elective c-section, whereas she was "made" to have a VBAC apparently and found it very, very traumatic. She is firmly in the "c-sections are wonderful" camp...
Pupuce's remarks about mothers consciously or not influencing their daughters' attitudes to childbirth really strike home. I am sure I was so desperate to have a successful VBAC to prove my mother wrong, and I am sure I still feel "cheated" I did not achieve it, for that reason. I will only find positive, informative, encouraging input for dd if she decides to become a mother, I think.