Questions for maternity debrief

[blackcat86]

I had quite a traumatic time when DD who was born in the summer. Despite being born healthy via a c section within hours she was in special care fighting for her life. I have asked for a debrief to explore what went wrong as a few issues with the midwife have been suggested as contributing to this. I was wondering how others have found their debrief and any really good questions that they asked or wished that they had asked? Of course a lot will be case specific but anything I can learn before hand is helpful.

Hi @blackcat86
I had my debrief last month, 22 months after the birth of my son. I am due in December and needed a bit of clarity in regards to what happened during my first delivery so make a decision about how this baby will be born.

I found it to be fabulous. I felt up to a certain point my memory was great and then it was a blur and the debrief certainly showed that was the case! I was also surprised at how little information I had after the birth. I can remember 2 pulls with the forceps but I actually had 4 and apparently "the baby was born floppy and pale" which I had no idea about, and could have gone the rest of my life without hearing those words actually. I wish I hadn't heard them! It was interesting to hear the timeline too as my sense of timing was completely out.

But for the purpose of why I had the debrief it was helpful. It eased my mind, a lot.
So I'd recommend it. I almost feel like a weight was lifted. I imagine not everyone gets the answers they were hoping after a debrief. As the conversation goes on, you'll know what to ask and they are very open and understanding. The midwife I spoke to kept checking if I was ok (mine was done by FaceTime as I no longer live in the UK) and made sure I was coping with what was being said.

Good luck with it and I hope you find it to be helpful.

@SunshineSnowflakesDaydreams thank you for sharing your experience. I'm really glad that you found it helpful and you gained some clarity. I think that's mostly what I'm hoping to get out if it as well as some answers and acknowledgement about what went wrong. I actually spoke to the senior midwife by phone and I think she may take up the debrief herself. She took what I was saying seriously and immediately said it sounds like things could have been better. I didn't expect that level of accountability.