Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Caring for my wife after Caeserean

60 replies

Rich32 · 25/10/2018 17:53

Hi,

My wife is having an unplanned, urgent Caeserean tomorrow. We are all set for it but I am quite unclear on how hard the recovery will be for my wife once we are back home. I would be really grateful for any practical advice from those who have had Caesereans or partners of those who have regarding caring for my wife over the coming days and weeks (and months?). Obviously I will give her all the emotional support possible so really I am asking about more practical stuff - is there anything I should get in the house so it is to hand or anything that I should be prepared for that isn't obvious? Any help greatly appreciated. Many thanks, Richard

OP posts:
adjsavedmylife · 26/10/2018 11:34

If she’s planning to breastfeed you could ask any supporters to help with feeding lying down. If she and the baby can master that it could really help both now and with getting a bit more rest in the months to come

ShowOfHands · 26/10/2018 11:34

Carry the baby up and down stairs if you live in a house with stairs - she won't be able to do this for a week to ten days

For the first two weeks it's difficult to stand for long periods and she mustn't lift anything heavier than the baby, so take over housework, shopping and cooking completely for 2 weeks

Bear in mind that this is only one experience. It's a spectrum. I lived in a 3 storey house and DH had to go back to work on day 4. On day 4, I strapped the baby to me and did a 1.5 mile school run. I'd have been v cross if DH had mollycoddled me when I didn't need it.

You simply don't know so follow her lead. She will tell you where on the spectrum she falls. Believe her.

Clevs · 26/10/2018 11:42

What a lovely, thoughtful husband! 

blueskiesandforests · 26/10/2018 11:44

Showifhands yes it is a spectrum. I was literally fastened to my hospital bed with drains, catheter, intravenous fluids from drips and intravenous antibiotics until day 3 with my first section, but the NHS discharged me 6 hours after those were removed and I almost collapsed walking out of the hospital.

I'm all for being independent and not asking for help, but downplaying the serious nature of cesarean section operation and recovery does other women no favours IMO. My 3rd section was straightforward and I was desperate to avoid any impact on my toddler and preschooler so got straight back to absolutely everything asap and ended up bleeding very heavily and being readmitted.

Some people do recover unusually fast where everything has come together to make that possible, but it isn't a competition and it's one time in life when being a martyr can seriously backfire.

BlankTimes · 26/10/2018 12:36

What a kind and thoughtful partner you are Rich Smile

I was young, fit and absolutely horrified to find I was at the copped for severe pain afterwards end of the spectrum after my emergency section and took absolutely ages to recover even after a 2 week hospital stay. Baby was in SCBU and carrying my heavy hospital pillow from my bed to there was like doing a marathon.

Imagine your insides between your hip-bones in a band over 4 inches wide being sandpapered with a coarse grade sandpaper with any slight movement, that's how it was for me for months afterwards.

Anything like trying to lift the baby, a half-full kettle, stand up straight, walk normally, sit, stand, lie down was more than painful for a long long time afterwards. It took about 9 months for the pain to recede enough for me to have an ordinary life.

Trying to push the buggy on a gravel drive was almost impossible.
Partner getting dressed in a morning, insisting on sitting on the edge of the bed to put socks pants and trousers on, the bouncing around caused by that was painful.
Driving on bumpy roads was agony as a passenger, find a lovely cushion for her and do help getting the car seat in and out of the car and please carry the car seat.

Hopefully your wife won't be affected as badly as I was, from reading this thread it seems most women aren't, you lucky things! It was a real shock to me, I wasn't prepared to feel like that at all. I asked the consultant how long it would take to get back to my normal and he snapped, 'What do you expect? You've had major surgery, it can take two years to fully heal.'

Like everyone else has said, this is only one experience, all recoveries are different. Hopefully hers will be nothing like mine. Flowers

ShowOfHands · 26/10/2018 18:16

@blueskiesandforests

You've misunderstood me completely. I'm not downplaying or being competitive. I said it's a spectrum and more than once said take her lead, ask her opinion and believe her etc. I meant believe her if she says she's fine doing x AND believe her if she says she simply cannot struggle out of bed. I was merely cautioning against absolute statements in either direction.

blueskiesandforests · 26/10/2018 18:25

Sorry Showofhands - I read it as competitive with implication that other women were making a fuss in order to be Molly coddled, with all the strapping the baby to your front and doing a 1.5 mile school run on day 4 and being cross at the idea your husband might have helped you. Tone doesn't come across very well on forum posts sometimes, or perhaps I don't register the intended tone well.

ShowOfHands · 26/10/2018 18:29

That's okay. Tone certainly doesn't come across well on here. I try to be very careful about making sure I don't project my experience onto others. I have the same problem the other way round on vasectomy threads. Women describing them as a piece of piss when my own DH ended up ill, rehospitalised and had a lot of complications. Hence trying to always remind people about the spectrum of surgical experience.

StatisticallyChallenged · 26/10/2018 21:39

I'd add:
-keep an eye on her wound for her as she might not be able to see it much/at all. I'm 3 weeks post c-section, wound last checked by midwifes on day 10, scar then got infected around day 12/13. I couldn't see it so it was DH who noticed.
-get some glycerin suppositories from Boots to help with that first bowel movement

MashNpeas · 28/10/2018 20:16

How did it all go? :)

New posts on this thread. Refresh page