Vaginal or ELCS for No.2

[ToddlerTamerMumma]

I know this topic has been done to death...but needing some honest, and balanced advice.

I had DS just over 2yrs ago. Natural birth in the pool with G&A...1st degree tear - so what's the big deal I hear you say!? I suffer terribly with perianal issues - I often have piles (internal and external) even when not pregnant (sigh) and after spending over 2 hours pushing DS out things were less than satisfactory in that department ... lets just say the ring of fire meant nothing to me, as I honestly felt like I'd given birth to DS purely out of my arse!
I
was a broken woman! I was weak and my pelvic floor was totalled. I went to GP around 2wks PP as I was so concerned; I could barely walk around the house as the dragging heavy feeling was so uncomfortable. On top of this, piles were hideous and I also developed an anal fissure (likely a result of trauma to the existing piles, according to my colorectal surgeon). The fissure issues lasted 6 months of agonising pain for 7hrs+ per day and 2 years on I still take stool softeners daily as pain returns if I stop (I'm sadly prone to constipation too which doesn't help!). The 'minor' tear caused me agony too, and it was 8 months before I could have sex again...and it has after 2 years only become pleasurable again. All of these complications left me depressed after DS and in terrible pain. I lost myself and I hate that I missed out on those s/pecial moments with DS as a baby because I was in a bad place. Thankfully I came out the other side after about 12-15months once the pains subsided.

I'm now preg with No2 and I'm absolutely petrified of the recovery from birth. Part of me doesn't think I will be able to get over it again if the same issues arise again - or are worsened.

WWYD? Am I crazy to be considering an ELCS??

Based on that, I think I'd go elective unless they could say it would be a lot less painful/problem causing the 2nd time around.

I had my 2nd emcs 16 weeks ago and have been pain free for 16 weeks, with all the pain killers I was discharged with still in their packaging.

I know there are no guarantees and I've been very lucky with two very easy recoveries from two emergency sections but that sounds absolutely horrific.

I had two vaginal deliveries - but I've also had prolapse repairs (plus a hysterectomy) so have an idea where you're coming from.
In your shoes, I'd go for the CS.

That sounds horrific, poor you. To be honest I’m surprised you’re even debating it and haven’t gone straight for the ELCS.

Thanks for responding! I guess I feel worried that c section could still end up causing all these issues again (though I imagine pelvic floor risk is lower, but not impossible) as the c section painkillers cause constipation which obvs wouldn't help my bum issues!! And despite all this it would still be considered a maternal request section as all medical ppl don't take my previous and ongoing issues as reasons against a natural!

Totally understand and relate to your bum issues. I had my DD 8 months ago. Horrendous birth. With a 3rd degree tear. And let’s just say things are NOT the same down there. Struggled with sex which I think is only now just improving.
An I have deflated piles left behind and miss my old bum 😫🙄🙄 going to the toilet is never 100% comfortable now. And I fear my bum would get worse symptoms wise and look even worse after pushing a second baby out.

Needless to say because of the endless long list of recovery issues and mainly due to my severe 3rd degree tear. I think I will opt ELCS for my second child. Even though I don’t really want that recovery either. But I think at least you can plan. An take laxatives immediately to limit constipation and need to strain. An hopefully your bum and pelvic floor will hold up an issues won’t get any worse.

I ho early don’t know how women birth all these babies and there bums are fine. 🤔🤔🤔 or maybe just everyone isn’t as honest 🤷🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️🎀

My word, go for the c section. You've suffered terribly, it really seems the best option for you. It's a hard recovery, or at least it was for me, but nothing like what you have been through. Good luck with whatever you decide

ELCS all the way. Best decision I ever made.

Elective.

I have long term birth related issues too and I'm opting for elective this time.

I’m surprised you’re even debating. I’d go for elcs. It sounds like a bit of discomfort in your lower stomach for a few days is a hell of a lot preferable to the alternative!

I had an EMCS after a difficult labour and was really impressed with how quick my recovery was. No long term issues at all, and I feel like it was a really positive experience.