Newborn CONSTANT feeding. Am I doing something wrong??

[birdybirdbird]

Hi. Apologies for cross post but really need all the advice I can get!
My baby is a week old today and it’s our 2nd full day at home after a 5 day hospital stay. I had a planned c section at 39+2, then had wait for bloods as they thought he might have an infection - he didn’t - then discovered he’d dropped to much weight on day 3 so got put on a pumping and top up with formula regime. His birth weight was 8lb 12, he left hospital at very slightly over this.
I had an awful time in hospital, really wasn’t coping with the noise, busyness etc. If I’m honest I relied too much on the pumping and formula to just get out if there and failed to establish breast feeding very well whilst on the ward. On our first day home I had a bit of a meltdown and again relied too much on formula.
Today I woke up with a new resolve. Latching is going much better and I’m managing to stay calm. BUT it’s relentless. He’s had 10 short feeds (all less than 20 mins) In the last 5 hours. He frequently falls asleep at the breast, so the feed ends, then wakes up minutes later and is still hungry. When I pump I get 30mls at the most after 15/20 mins on both breasts. This seems low to me? Certainly it’s not increased over last few days.
He’s had one proper sleep of an hour today. He’s had no pooey nappies apart from the one we woke up with (which was huge to be fair) and only 2 wet nappies. My nipples are sore but thankfully not bleeding yet. My left breast has a lump which I’ve been trying to massage out and using a hot flannel on.
I’m just exhausted. I desperately want a sleep but constantly have a baby attached to me. Surely he needs a sleep at some point?! Is this normal?! Any tips? Hospital were rubbish at helping me establish feeding and I feel like I’m clueless.

Congratulations on your new baby!
Firstly, meltdowns are pretty normal at this stage - you've been through a lot and your hormones are still all over the shop. Have you got support around you to lend a listening ear and give hugs?
Secondly, if you feel like you need or want more breastfeeding support, ring your midwife, as the community ones often seem more able to dedicate enough time to helping you than those in hospital (in my experience).
Lastly, non-stop feeding at this age is fairly normal for a breastfed baby; they're trying to get your supply up. Although it feels relentless, it should only be a couple of days before you're out the other side.

Totally normal! It's called cluster feeding. Baby is pre-ordering their meals for the next few months as the previous poster said! Get comfy, get some drinks and don't forget that it's ok to let your baby cry if you need to wee!

For the lump - try putting a vibrator just above it if you have one. Sounds weird but it works.

For the pain, I found using loads of lasinoh after every feed and nipple shells in between feeds. It won't last forever! I actually missed having hours of sofa time to watch films!

Constant feeding very normal, especially as if you're cutting down on formula he will be doing extra to bump up your supply.
With Ds2 we had some trouble establishing bfing after a tricky c section, the lactation consultant suggested I do a 'babymoon' and spend 2 days in bed with plenty of tv and Kindle books and loads of water (and food brought up by DH) while feeding pretty non stop with tiny naps between. It helped us a lot, not least because I felt free to ignore everything and everyone else for a bit and so didn't feel so frustrated about being stuck in one place.

Did they discharge you with the names of local lactation consultants or feeding groups? They are a fantastic resource and usually very willing to help.

No, that's babies!

Congratulations on your new baby!

Firstly, cluster feeding is normal at this stage, as they're trying to increase your supply. It's brutal and tiring, but completely normal. Read up a bit on cluster feeding on Google to understand it a bit more, but certainly don't worry.

Also, nothing is more effective at getting breastmilk out of a breast than a baby's mouth. Therefore you will always express much less than your baby will be getting when they feed.

Regarding falling asleep on the breast and then waking up hungry - could you try gently nudging him awake to continue the feed?

Thanks everyone, these responses are making me feel a bit better. It’s just his feeding behaviour is SO different to hospital that I was getting a bit worried. I guess though that I’m approaching it in a completely different way now though so it won’t be the same.
@happygirly1 we try lots of tickling and (gentle!) prodding to keep him awake but it seems like a losing battle. Like his dad he like his food and like his mum will not wake up unless he wants to.

@stuckforthefourthtime They did not give any suggestions for lactation consultants. I’ve had a google and contacted one group but sadly they’re with on holiday or not accepting new clients right now.

@cubbycubby so far I’ve not been hugely impressed with most of the midwives I’ve come across. I had my home visit yesterday and when I shared my idea of basically baby mooning in bed/on the sofa (to ‘repair’ what had happened in hospital) she seemed very taken aback that I didn’t want to go out and about and insisted I open the curtains wide (meaning I could no longer sit around with my boobs out).

Congratulations on your baby. Mine is a week old today as well! I’m having exactly the same with the falling asleep on the boob and feed with my arm around her and a finger constantly poking her in the back, lol. I don’t really have anything to add except you’re not alone

@birdybirdbird my baby is 10 days today and hasn't made back his birth weight yet. So I am following this thread with interest. I am also struggling with feeding. The baby (a boy but we can't decide what to call him yet lol- too tired to decide!) will latch on every 2 or 3 hours but often only for 5 minutes which just isn't enough. He is jaundiced and quite sleepy. He had a blood test on Wednesday and his jaundice wasn't bad enough for treatment.

Anyway I just wanted to say you are not alone- keep posting -l am trying to resist the allure of formula ....but it's hard when I am worried about him not putting on weight.

The irony is that I have breastfed 4 previous children to a year or more! But I just can't get the hang of it this time!! Every baby is different .....

My latest baby also didn't put on much weight at first - and like kitty, he's my 4th so it was quite unexpected! He was near enough at the 14 day mark that he was discharged, but if he'd been my first I would have probably been too nervous and done as I did with ds1 and supplementednwith formula (speaking of which, ds1 was absolutely fine and we ended up bfing with no formula later, supplementing doesn't have to be a huge issue).

If you haven't had much luck I'd suggest calling your community midwife line or early childhood heath centre and asking for details of local bfing groups, I guarantee they exist! Or the NCT or La Leche League may have something, or at least people to call. otherwise your health visitor will.knkq more when they visit, but day 10-14 might seem a long way away right now! Good luck

I know what you mean about midwives being no help - the only people I found helpful were the advisors at the next breastfeeding helpline:

www.nct.org.uk/parenting/breastfeeding-concerns

I rang them for advice quite a few times with DD1 and they were very good. Good luck!

Congratulations! Yes, normal. He’s ‘Putting his order in’ and building your supply. My little fed almost constantly for atleast 6 hours every day at first. I remember watching the iPad with dinner nestled right next to her. Settle in for the long haul. Use it as time to rest and heal.

Oh and you never get as much from pumping as baby is getting, so don’t worry.

OP-your "babymoon" idea is perfect. Get comfortable in bed with everything you might need in easy reach and just doze and feed. I suggest you stop expressing- it's an extra job and nothing stimulates supply like a baby. If he's back to birthweight already then you're doing brilliantly. And nothing wrong with some formula in the evening given by someone else so you can have a break. Hang in there-it gets easier!

Thanks everyone. This is why I bloody love mumsnet - so much helpful advice and reassurance here.
Yesterday was a much calmer day. I didn’t use any formula (but was prepared to in case I was finding it all too much) and gave 1 lot of expressed in the middle of the night. And I didn’t cry once!!!
Still finding latching hard. Typically got one perfect one that turned into a lovely long feed whilst the midwife was here! I think the 2/10 that are right are more down to luck than skill on either of our parts. Have booked a lactation consultant to come. Have to wait til Wednesday but that’s ok. She gave me some suggestions for other people that might have earlier availability but I liked her reassuring voice on the phone so will wait it out!

Well done OP. And I cried every day for ages. Your body is recovering from the hardest and most amazing thing and your hormones are going well. Cry as much as you like and nestle xxx

I was like this- had a section and hated the post natal Ward. I also found breastfeeding hard!

Constant feeding is not just normal it's a GOOD thing. The quickest and best way to establish breastfeeding is to actually breastfeed.

This is what is supposed to happen. Can you find a breastfeeding group to go to? Bit of peer support and a natter helped me.

If I were you, I'd put the pump and formula away and just sit and feed. Do lots of skin to skin, basically sit on the sofa, top less with your baby on you in just a nappy and blanket over the top. Hopefully there is someone who can bring you snacks and keep an eye on older children.

As long as his weight is ok, you're doing fine. Expect up to ten percent loss though- that's normal. Breastfed babies often don't poo everyday either.

Porridge is great for supply OP. I ate
my weight in flapjacks!

And that midwife who wanted you to go out and about- what for? You're busy getting a whole new bodily function to work!

Second the flapjacks suggestion!

Just see this as an opportunity to sit on the sofa all day eating and drinking what you want and watching boxsets while you LO cluster feeds. What you’ve described is entirely normal it’s just no one tells you this before you give birth.

My baby is 4 months old today...We both LOVE breastfeeding. Well done for sticking with it. I also suggest porridge oats to increase your milk, it works almost instantly. Rosie was in NICU and SCBU and was 6 days old before we attempted breastfeeding, I sometimes got the feeling she "forgot" how to latch inbetween feeds.
It gets easier, and one afternoon, in the not too distant future, you'll sit on the couch and realise: We've got this!!!
And may I suggest using coconut oil instead of Lansinoh for sore nipples...lansinoh is grease from sheeps wool didn't like the idea of my precious baby suckin on that