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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Scared of delivering a large baby

15 replies

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 15/09/2018 18:27

I am 34 weeks and have been having regular growth scans throughout pregnancy. The reason for this initially was that DD was small (2nd centile) but it turns out this one is the opposite! I've been told he's just above the 90th centile. I'm quite petite and I'm absolutely terrified that he's going to get stuck, I'll need lots of intervention and will end up with horrific birth injuries. I had a second degree tear with DD1 and she was only 6lb.
I've tried to talk about my fears with the Consultants at my appointments (i've never seen the same doctor twice which doesn't help) and they are very dismissive and make comments along the lines of "your body wouldn't grow a baby you couldn't deliver". But if that was true surely there'd be no such thing as forceps, ventouse or EMCS!

With DD I had a horrendous 3 day labour with a failed epidural and we were both very poorly afterwards (I had a hospital acquired infection, she had sepsis) so I was hoping for a more positive experience this time around but as I get closer to my due date I just feel more and more anxious.

At my last appointment the consultant said something about as baby is big they would consider inducing me at 38 weeks. This made me even more anxious as I've heard so many induction horror stories and I thought induction increased the risk of shoulder dystocia so don't understand why this would be helpful? Confused When I said this to her she just muttered something non committal and said "it's up to you, my job is to give you options"...but that's the only option she has put to me.

OP posts:
ICJump · 16/09/2018 03:43

My first baby was big. Over 10 pounds. I had a really straight forward birth. If you are expecting a big baby you could look at different positions to slow things down. I found side lying really helpful and on all fours. Most active birth positions help use gravity but with a big baby you want to slow down a bit.

The other thing is to try to get baby in a good position prior to labour.

The two website I found helpful were evidenced based birth and spinning babies.

ICJump · 16/09/2018 03:44

Oh and just in case... I’m not trying to be smug just trying to offer some positivity rather than horror.

Pamdoo · 16/09/2018 03:56

Try not to worry. They made out my baby was some sort of monster that was measuring off the charts, they made me feel like I was carrying a whale around and I'm not small either. All I got from every nurse/doctor/midwife was 'ooh he's a big one!' I got so stressed out about this nearly toddler I was carrying round with me. I ended up having him at 35 weeks and he was 7lb 1 but tiny! The same day they had been telling me I would be induced at 38 weeks, so I doubt he would have been all that much bigger!

Moody123 · 16/09/2018 08:09

I was told, our body won't make a baby that we can't deliver! (I don't know how true that is)
I'm only 5ft so it was something I was scared about but this got me through it 😊

cece · 16/09/2018 08:12

My largest baby was the easiest and quickest labour out of my three children. He was 11lb 4 Oz. Congratulations, big babies are great. I found mine slept and ate very well. I've also had a 10 lb one. In fact my longest and most difficult birth was my smallest baby.

PinkAvocado · 16/09/2018 08:17

I was told our bodies won’t make babies we can’t deliver and I now know this not to be true. I was induced at 37 weeks as the scan said he’d be big. He was well over 9lbs and I needed assistance getting him out. Fairly short labour (under three hours) and although extremely painful compared to my first, I only had gas and air. Personally, I am glad I was induced as the help I needed was probably a lot less than if he’d gone to 40+ weeks.

Girlwiththearabstrap · 16/09/2018 08:29

The fact that it's your second will help a lot as second labours and births tend to be smoother.
Also growth scans aren't always accurate. My second baby was plotting 98th centile or something and I was expecting a whopper. She was 8.11 when I was induced at 42 weeks and despite being back to back she came out fine with no forceps. I did have a small episiotomy but it healed fine.

Branleuse · 16/09/2018 08:37

My 10 pounder was a good birth. In some ways it was my best. Was quite intense but i had a great midwife and didnt even tear

Sandstormbrewing · 16/09/2018 08:45

Don't be. My first was a 6lb tiddler. Absolutely ripped me to shreds and caused untold damage to my nethers.

Birthing a baby is one case where size REALLY doesn't matter. Position is far more important.

scrivette · 16/09/2018 09:00

They told me that DD was going to be well over 9lb and the next day I have birth to her she was only 8lb.

I had a reasonably large 2nd child at 9lb 6oz and it was easier and quicker than my 7lb baby.

I hope some of the positive stories are helping as I think it will make it harder if you go into labour worrying about giving birth. Have you looked into hypnobirthing at all? Some of the breathing may help you to relax.

Original poster
MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 16/09/2018 09:19

Thank you all for your replies.
It's reassuring to hear some positive experiences of delivering bigger babies.

Scrivette I tried hypnobirthing with my first and it did absolutely nothing for me I'm afraid. I suppose it couldn't hurt to give it another go.

OP posts:
MadhousMom59 · 16/09/2018 21:29

Hun if you have already had a baby then don't worry. I gave birth to a 10.8 baby after 10 hours. 3rd baby.

Original poster
MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 17/09/2018 10:14

I wasn't at all anxious about my first birth. I was absolutely convinced by my NCT and hypnobirthing classes that I would manage with no drugs and have this amazing, "empowering" experience because it was all about positive thinking etc. I was completely unprepared for the reality which was three days of agony and feeling very out of control and frightened the whole time. This time I have an idea what to expect so I can't kid myself. But I suppose I need to put my first birth experience to one side to an extent as this one may be different. I had assumed that because baby it was big it will be even more difficult/painful but from some of the replies on this thread it seems that's not necessarily the case.

OP posts:
Verbena87 · 18/09/2018 20:50

I really think you’ll be fine, but mainly popped on to say that at our nhs hospital we were able to ask to see the same consultant at antenatal appointments as long as we were happy to wait - sometimes meant an extra hour waiting but for me was worth it to have continuity and talk to someone I liked and trusted. So worth asking as if I’d not asked on the off-chance one day I’d never have even realised it was a possibility.

And good luck with your birth. I think going in without an idealistic image is a good plan - even just statistically it’s very unlikely you’ll have such a rough time again.

PeoniesandPretties · 19/09/2018 21:28

I was told at 39 weeks that I was measuring big or as they like to say healthy sized lol!
After an induction, five day labor, forceps and then emcs out came my 10.8 bruiser. I'll never forget the doctors response after he was weighed lol
I still believe had I not of been induced I would of laboured fine, bigger babies have gravity on their side.
And who doesn't love a big, squishy baby anyway?! Your be absolutely fine.

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