Is it ok to feel down after having baby?

[advicepleasex]

Baby is just over a week old and i keep crying I feel sad sick of being stuck in the house but I can barely move after my c section.

OH does everything really I just breastfeed but I've all of a sudden got this hatred for him.

Am I ever going to go back to normal or is this my life now?

Absolutely 100% normal!!! It will get better but if you find you aren’t starting to feel better within a few weeks please seek help early.
I felt exactly the same, to the point I didn’t like my dd. I regretted having her and didn’t like her. She’s now 15 weeks and it’s so different.

Oh love, that’s so normal your midwife should have warned you. Give your scar a few more days and then get your mum or bf to take you to have your hair cut and your nails done. Slowly & gently.
You might still feel low for a while, but it will fade. If you’re still feeling low in a week, tell your midwife. She’ll know what to do.

Congratualations. You are doing just fine.

Perfectly normal.
Your hormones are going haywire, you are in pain, tired, and recovering from a major operation.
A few days and you should start to feel loads better, however, let your midwife/health visitor know how you're feeling anyway, and they'll keep an eye on you.

Make sure you are eating a d drinking enough though.

It's normal to get baby blues, but perhaps a quick chat with your health visitor or GP would be a good idea just in case your hormones are causing pnd.

If the horrible feeling is only when feeding then there's an actual issue called dysphoric mill ejection reflex.

Be kind to yourself - you just had a baby! Your body has been through an awful lot and the hormones do wreak havoc over the post-partum period.

It is probably normal - you are the peak of the post-partum hormone surge or "baby blues". It's really hard and some people are more emotional than others.

Keep an eye on it and be open with your OH and health visitor about how you feel over the next few days/weeks. If it doesn't lift it could be the start of PND and your health visitor/GP can help you. The sooner it is identified the easier it is to deal with.

In my experience, I felt so much brighter once breastfeeding was established (hard work isn't it?) and once I could get out and about too.

Congratulations on your lovely baby. I'm sure things will pick up.

Just had to reach out.... so so normal!
It's ok to feel shit, it's ok to feel rough, it's ok to feel down.
This is such a trauma for for body and mind, so much changes.
Please as above, be kind to yourself, allow these feelings, they will pass.
Lots of love sent to you x

I'm just so fed up I feel like leaving and not coming back.
I love DD but I feel so down and worthless.

OH is doing everything taking pictures of her all the time bathing her and I just feel jealous and angry they are things I want to be doing. Sending his family and friends photos i don't even feel apart of it anymore.

Thanks everyone I can't wait to wake up and feel like me again I'm so lost at the moment.

advice when are you next to see your HV?

It’s normal by the way. I felt like an alien for weeks after BUT I’d wished I’d said something to some one instead of just getting through it in my own

With both of mine, I felt suicidal when my milk came in. Dc2 is 14 weeks and I'm slowly heading back upwards.

You are doing the most important thing, you are feeding her. You will look back and long for the days she was so small and you just fed and sleep...god knows I do. Getting up and doing stuff is overrated. Relax and understand what a monumental thing you have just done and continue to do.

@Bluecloudyskies I'm not sure the midwife is visiting tomorrow though.

I know I could easily pick myself up but that means leaving the house and I can't.

Oh god this is so normal and it might go and come back again so you think you're mad! Look after yourself, try to reign in the urge to hurt your dh for breathing too loudly ( I quite often look at my dh asleep and have to restrain myself and my dd is 13 weeks!) and talk to your hv. I'm definitely going too! 💐

Why is he doing everything? You really should be moving about as much as you can after a section, you recover much faster than if you stay sitting/lying down. I don't mean running laps like but normal stuff. Why can't you leave the house?

It is normal to feel down, it's a lot of emotions and you've had major surgery but definitely helping your recovery from that will improve your mood and make you feel more capable.

Agree with everyone else it's totally normal but if it's getting on top of you have a chat with your HV. Try your best to get out of the house everyday even if it's just to the end of the road and back, you need to keep moving to help recover from the CS. I remember walking to my corner shop a few days after mine and felt like Wonder Woman.

Eventually you'll be able to pop baby in the buggy and go out for a walk everyday and this will massively help your mental health! I had DS just as the heatwave hit and I felt completely trapped as it was too warm to venture out with him. You've had yours at a perfect time where it's still nice and warm but not an inferno

Give yourself time to heal it took a couple of weeks for me to start feeling more "normal".

Completely normal, lots of and for you.

You have both (you and the baby) been through a massive shock and are still getting to know each other. I can remember when DS was born thinking 'what the hell just happened' and then being sent home to look after this tiny, screaming stranger and being expected to know what I was doing.

Then I remember people coming to see the baby, then after a little while the visitors stopped and you are literally 'left holding the baby' and that was a big reality check that it was me and him now and we had to muddle through.

You absolutely will leave the house. You and your baby will find your way around each other and you will find the courage to head out for a walk or to a baby group or whatever. I haven't had a c section but I imagine that's tough, just rest up as much as you can now and hopefully you'll have a good recovery and will be venturing out soon.

But also, it's fine to stay home if you're happy doing that too! I was always really obsessed about getting out to groups with DS because I was worried about having no mum friends, but now I'm expecting DC2 and am looking forward to locking the door after DH has gone to work and is all watching Ceebeebies in bed.

Take care. I felt so alone when I'd had DS but it was actually the makings of me and he had helped me make so many local friends who I meet up with both with and without children now. I would never have believed I would have had such a busy social life when he was born, but by 6 months we were never at home!

I felt like this at first. It's a big change, your hormones are crazy and your exhausted. I felt like I loved my daughter but I was also mourning the loss of my independence. I remember a key moment at 6 weeks where my daughter was asleep on my chest and I looked at her little face and thought I can't live without you and I've never looked back. Can't even imagine being alone now and the rare times I am I miss her like mad.

I vividly remember when my 1st was just over 2 weeks old & DP had gone back to work; sitting on the bathroom floor sobbing my heart out wondering what fuck we'd done! Why did we think having a baby was a good idea? & how the he'll were we going to cope?!
Day 5 with my 2nd, we were all set to leave hospital as DS was out of SCBU & on the ward with me when we were told his bilirubin levels were too high so he needed further phototherapy (really bad jaundice) & I was blubbing like anything over the slightest thing - someone being kind to me, hugging my son, seeing my eldest & DP, my eldest & DP leaving, ice cream at desert. I was an absolute mess!
I've had 2 c-sections (the most recent almost 13 weeks ago) & the only real advice I have is to take it as easy as possible. I say this on every c-section recovery thread but keeping a basket of supplies (nappies, wipes, babygrows etc) in the living room (or wherever you spend the most time) means fewer trips up & down the stairs. I found stairs were the last thing I wanted to deal with when felt sore & tired etc.
It does get better; you'll have good days & bad days but if you're having more bad days than good, please speak to someone.
Don't ever feel embarrassed about how you feel. It's how YOU feel & YOU are entitled to feel how YOU feel, no-one has the right to judge you for that. All they can do is support you or help you to get the right support.

I was in hospital for 2 weeks after DD1 and vividly remember hiding in the toilet crying that I'd ruined my life and couldn't do this. This was about day 5 and a lovely midwife brought me a cup of tea and said everyone felt like this. I had to remind myself when the same thing happened after DD2. I went from feeling elated to being in floods of tears. It really doesn't last forever.

That being said, do keep an eye on it and please let the midwives or health visitor know how you're feeling. As well as your dh. Chances are it's normal hormone fluctuations but if it is pnd help is available.

I've not had a section but try and keep lightly mobile if you can. Keep on top of the painkillers and try and get out of the house even if it's just getting your husband to drive you to a cafe for some tea and cake.